Remember the Drop Off phenomenon from a little while ago? I’ve recently solved two more drop off mysteries.
Let this be a lesson to you, men! If you adopt the “drop off” method, odds seem to be that you’ll eventually be found out, and instead of looking like a socially-retarded dork, you’ll come off as a complete asshole. Read on for examples…
I met a guy on the craigslist personals. We went for dinner and then for a walk around looking at Christmas lights. We got along just fine, said goodnight, and agreed we should get together again sometime. He did the “half-plan a date” schtick, and then suddenly disappeared.
Well he recently re-appeared on craigslist, with this wee gem in his ad:
i’ve tried this once before and had little to no luck on account of me being idealistic… ideally, it wouldn’t matter what you looked like, as long as i was attracted to your personality, right? sadly, no. but at least i can say i gave it a try. and to make matters worse, i’m totally attracted to skinny girls. sorry. i know it’s not “PC” of me, but it’s what i’m attracted to. so, having said that…
Ok, so he’d rather have Twiggy (or perhaps an Ethiopian refugee) than Marilyn. That’s fine. He’s pretty skinny himself, and wants a petite girl who can make him feel manly. God knows I’ve got my own ideal type that I end up attracted to. As it stands, nobody would ever confuse me for “petite,” and I am absolutely certain that I’m going to make some guy who digs the bootylicious VERY happy someday. (And for the record, dude when a girl who’s a size 8 is making you feel inferior, perhaps it’s time to hit the weight room and protein powder… I’m just sayin’…)
So then why not follow up with “I had a really nice time with you, but there was no chemistry. Best of luck and have a nice life.” I would think that’s the polite and respectful thing to do. But what do I know?
Well what I do know is that the internet is not anonymous, and when you post a nearly identical ad as a 26 year old guy from Port Moody, people you’ve dated before are going to figure out it’s you, and you end up looking like an idiot.
A friend set me up with someone else who’d advertised himself as single. He was known to be open to dating, and she figured with our mutual love of hockey and rock music, we may get along. She orchestrated a meeting at a party, and the next day I received a cute (albeit highly cheesy) email from him:
Hi Jen, this is Luke, we met at Chris and Mel’s the other night. I was hoping you could help me out with something. I met this really cute girl at a party and for some reason I completly forgot to ask her for her number. I even took the skytrain home with her and still forgot. Id love to go have coffee or a drink with her so maybe you could write me back with some advice on what to do before she forgets who I am.
In case you’re daft, I am the cute girl he took the skytrain home with. Everybody together now, “awwwwwwwwww.” Doesn’t exactly read like a guy who’s got a girlfriend, does it? Yah, I didn’t think so either. Apparently were were both wrong!
Some of this guy’s best friends were at the party and didn’t bat an eye when the setup was orchestrated, and we went out on a few dates before anything went sideways.
His drop off happened suddenly as well. I had to cancel a get together I was planning at my place, he sent an email saying he was disappointed, asked how my weekend had been, and started the planning for a next date. I replied, but never heard from him again.
Shortly after he dropped off the face of the earth, I heard through the grapevine that girlfriend existed, and she was freaking out. Sorry girlfriend, I had no idea. And if I were you, I’d ditch his sorry ass! I strongly suspect I am not the first, and will probably not be the last girl he ran around on you with. Go get yourself a copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You,” read it, then throw it at the back of his head as you demand he get the fuck out, and never come back.
Or maybe that’s just what I would do. Whatever.
Obviously it doesn’t take a lot of sleuthing to figure these things out. The first one I just happened upon while surfing the web, the second came back through the grapevine via friends.
So like I said, let this be a lesson. It’s ok to not have chemistry with someone, or to be “off again/on again” with a girlfriend. But for the love of Pete, HONESTY is ALWAYS the best policy. You may come off as a bumbling idiot anyway, but why would you want to ensure that as the outcome?