One Way Ticket (To Hell)

A post in which I confirm that underneath the seemingly sweet exterior, I am a bad, bad, person.

Some of you may remember a guy I wrote about earlier this year; the one I went out with a couple times, before finding out he “forgot” to mention he had a girlfriend.

Well, it turns out that he’s in the hospital right now. He suffered a sudden lung collapse last week, and it turns out he’s got a puncture that requires surgery.

My first thought* upon hearing this?

Karma, of course. Don’t be a dick. And definitely don’t mess with the Jen.

I’m sure they’re fitting my handbasket with nitrous at this very moment to ensure I go to hell, directly to hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

*My second thought really was “damn, that sucks” and I do sincerely hope he’s ok! It’s not like I wished harm upon him or anything – I figured bumbling through life as a First-Class Idiot was punishment enough…

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12 thoughts on “One Way Ticket (To Hell)

  1. April

    I’m all for you on the karma thing. Everyone gets what they deserve. Also, If the handbasket doesn’t work it, I’m driving the bus to hell, I’ll pick you up on the way.

  2. April

    Ok I just realized the first line of my comment kinda sounds like I’m wishing you bad karma. Meant to say I’m with you on the karma thing, dude got what he deserved.

  3. Lindsey

    I’m not really sure if it’s my place to comment considering that you can say whatever you want. But obviously my blog is public and anyone can read it – but it is there so that people who CARE about Luke can read it in support of him – not so that they can read it and then trash him collectively. As far as I am concerned the whole thing was blown out of proportion and still is. If you are hurt by what happened then maybe you should take that up with him instead of trashing him behind his back – what happened happened – and I feel badly too – can you imagine? As for now – I enjoy reading your blog as it is entertaining but I am surprised that you would take this route to publicly hurt the people involved in this obviously difficult time… we are ALL very concerned about Luke and I would appreciate it if you would not link to my blog unless it’s in SUPPORT of Luke during his hospitalization. Enuf said.

  4. Mel

    For the record, Jen learned about Luke’s hospitalization from me, not from Lindsey’s blog. It’s understandable that Jen would find some karmic humour in this situation, and I don’t need to defend her right to post what she wants on her blog. And technically, she’s not trashing him behind his back – he’s as able to read this as everyone else on the internet.

  5. Victoria

    A friend of mine told me about your blog…told me it was really funny and worth a read. So I took her word for it, and she was right! I think your postings are so hilarious and your sense of humor appeals to my blackened little coal of a heart. I also think that all kinds of inappropriate things are in actuality quie humorous, I’m sure I’ll definitely be meeting you in hell.
    BUT….I am also a long time friend of Luke’s. And I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you haven’t quite grasped the seriousness of the situation. Many a guy have screwed me around, a few have even found themselves facing my wrath. There are even a couple who did things so grievous that i may have even wished a misfortune on them. But this, just does not qualify. Karma is a guy breaking up with you for someone else, only to have her do the same to him. It ISN’T a guy laying in the hospital facing major surgery. Can you imagine the panic of waking up alone with a collapsed lung..unable to move, having difficulty breathing and having to lay there waiting until someone came home??
    Luke is an incredibly witty, caring and extremely fun person..you obviously don’t know him well enough to know that he would NEVER take any joy in something like this happening to you.
    You have the right to say what you want. But so do I.

  6. peechie Post author

    Ok, I retract my ‘no comment’ comment (which I’ll likely regret), and I’ll try to address all of your terribly pressing concerns.

    I did say quite clearly I didn’t wish harm upon him, and that I do hope he’s ok. That comes from a strictly humanitarian place where I don’t wish harm on *anyone*.

    As for Luke specifically, I honestly don’t give a damn about the rest of his life. He didn’t “hurt” me – he did something stupid that I wrote about. I don’t think his current situation is actually “payback” for doing a dumb thing – but I did entertain the Karmic implications. And Karma isn’t something you can *wish* upon another anyway. It just happens, and is under the universe’s control.

    I’ll admit that the post was in generally poor form. I never said I was a good person (in fact, I said exactly the opposite). But he’s not going to die – he’s had a scare, is going through a shitty time, and will more than likely make a full recovery. You can rest assured that I didn’t post until it was apparent that he would be just fine – and I wouldn’t have posted if that weren’t the case.

    Just because you *know* Luke doesn’t make his plight any more or less important in the grand scheme of things than if it happened to anyone else on earth.

    And since you generally appreciate the humour my cold, dead heart usually creates on these pages, I suspect that were I writing about anyone *but* Luke, you’d take no issue with it.

  7. Victoria

    No, I actually just think it’s in bad taste to mock someone while they’re in the hospital. to each their own, i do some things that other ppl would DEFINITELY not approve of.
    still, i like the rest of your site and if i’m still welcome to, i’ll just laugh at everything ELSE you write…

  8. Mel

    Just kidding. Mel left her info on this machine and it was just too funny.

    FWIW, I care about all of you.

    Luke (not Mynott)

  9. Mel

    Well, I AM a nurse. I probably like (or can at least tolerate) poo more than most people.

    Keep smiling, people 🙂

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