13 thoughts on “Splat”

  1. Without sounding so very cliche, I’ll borrow a quote from Charles F. Kettering :

    “I am not interested in the past. I am interested in the future, for that is where I intend to spend the rest of my life.”

    By this, I mean that while the “moment of truth/mutual tension” I’m sure you’ll both feel after bringing this out in the open, plant both your feet on the ground for a little while, and focus on being friends.

    IMHO, you shouldn’t put off being friends with someone valuable like that because of a momentary lapse of comfortability. Just be the same great friend you are to him, and he’ll appreciate that like none other.

    (Sorry for the spam/rant!)


  2. I’m trying not to be all angry and negative, but without getting into details, it was clear from his response that he wasn’t being a good friend to me by leading me on, and that he can’t quite let that behaviour go either.

    So while I’m slowly uncrumpling my heart over here, I’m confident that I’ll be ok, and am better off with some distance for now.

  3. I’ve been on both sides of that problem. When I’ve been the one who just wanted friendship, I typically did know that the other person hoped for more. Usually if I let the line between friendship and flirtation blur too much it was because I was attracted to them to some degree, but I resisted going for it for other reasons, whether because I was already in a relationship or I just didn’t think it would work out in the end.

    In my experience, you don’t lead someone else on if there’s zero feeling there. It happens when you’re confused about your own wants and feelings.

    I really empathize with you on this one, and I hope it all works out. Talking about it may or may not disperse the elephant in the room … sometimes only time apart and space to move on can do that … but at least you tried. Best of luck.

  4. I know where you are coming from. I laid it all on the line once too. It turned out that he didn’t feel the same way but we are still friends and in fact are closer than ever now that all the skeletons are out of the closet and out in the open so to speak. If the friendship is strong enough, it can manouver around the elephant. Hang in there!

  5. *offers a hug as well*

    Regardless (no ir-!) of how it turned out, I’m proud of you for saying something, and I hope you are too. It was very brave, and it sure beats the hell out of the neverending pins-and-needles if you HADN’T said anything.

    I, too, am confident you’ll be ok (and in time, much more than ok)…looks like you’ve got lots of support in the meantime!

  6. Bummer on the response, but strong work for laying it on the line. It’s hard to do, and few people are willing to do it. I don’t have much relationship advice, but when my friends ask, I always tell them the same thing:

    Carpe girlum

    In a, you know, strictly legal, non-creepy fashion.

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