WorldWideWaterCooler

Not that this has any bearing on my life whatsoever at the moment, but I have a question for all y’all:

Is it still expected that a guy will ask a girl’s father’s permission before asking her to marry him?

I know there are plenty of women who don’t have that kind of relationship with their families, that a dad’s opinion would be warranted or even wanted - but if a girl has a good relationship with her family, is it still something to be considered, or *gasp* expected?

(Blame this entry on Valentine’s day, the plethora of recently engaged bloggers I read, and a visit with my grandparents yesterday, who reminded me (again) that my parents met right around this time of year when my mom was exactly my age, and my dad asked for my mom’s hand in marriage 6 weeks later.)

There’s an article in The Tyee today about a different stance on the same-sex marriage debate. The author Stan Persky puts out the position that it’s not an argument about marriage, it’s an argument about validating (or not) same-sex sex. Because we all know that the most important part of a marriage is the consummation thereof - and the notion of two same-sex partners doing that, is just ick as far as the Conservatives are concerned.

I’ve thought long and hard about this - wanting to respect both those who hold their religious beliefs strongly, and the obvious rights of any person to marry any other person. I posted my comments on the issue at the bottom of the article, but figured that since (at least I think) it seems like a cohesive and well-written stance, I’d post it here as well, and see what y’all think about it.
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The only real solution at this point is to do away with the institution of “marriage” entirely as a legal entity. Civil Unions for all - man/woman/transgendered or any combination thereof - who wish to benefit from the legal contract of such an arragement. And have them performed or endorsed only by a public service employee (such as the JPs who do it now).

Once the church is no longer legally ordained to endorse “civil unions” they’ll no longer have a leg to stand on in their discrimination of those who are born homosexual. This leaves the church entirely outside a position of being able to deny performing a “marriage” for those it chooses to discriminate against.

It’s time to move beyond teaching “tolerance” of those who may be of a different race/sex/orientation/etc. (which is what the Conservative position of Civil Union vs. Marriage is) and move to a society of ACCEPTANCE that everyone is equal, and deserves an equal set of rights that have no basis on anything other than our Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
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Discuss.

I sat up until 12:45 talking with my brother.

I hope he leaves that girl. I doubt he will. He shares my desire to see the absolute best in people no matter what. Usually to our detriment. Instead of being pro-active, he’s waiting for her to dump him this weekend. I just worry about what will happen when she doesn’t.

He is also a jackass*.

I dragged my sorry ass out of bed extra early so I didn’t mess up the routine of the roommate, and so that my brother had plenty of time to get himself ready for school.

What did the brother do with that time? Continued to sleep. Until about 5 minutes past the very last possible minute.

Result? Jen is all ready to go, and ends up sitting around the house waiting for him to be ready to leave for 15 extra minutes (minutes that could have been spent sleeping!), then is dropped off at an intersection near work, because jackass doesn’t have time to drive me any further or he’ll be late.**

It’s a good thing I have another brother who’s much more considerate (and more fun to drink with), because if I were only left with jackass, I’d feel really ripped off. Perhaps that’s the way it goes when you get 2-for-1 siblings.

*still love brother - just not liking him all that much this morning
**also, I will change from 1st to 3rd person and back again with reckless abandon, because it is my blog, and I like it that way

I was saving this for a day where it actually meant something - but I felt like just posting it already. My brilliant metaphor. Boys - pay attention. I came up with this one for a guy friend, and I think the analogy finally made him realize what exatly was going on, and why he and his girlfriend would never get back together.

Relationships are like car engines. Love is like oil. Keep a good amount of reasonably clean oil in the engine, things will run smoothly. Let it get too low or too dirty, things will not run as smoothly, though putting some serious TLC into the engine will get it back up to snuff. However, if you let the engine run out of oil entirely, eventually it will sieze and be COMPLETELY UNREPAIRABLE. All you can do at that point is move on and replace the engine.

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I don’t really have anything else to say. Funny how the blogging is prolific when life goes to shit, and when life is good, the blogging goes to shit. Ah well. C’est la vie.

I just received an email from Nick about posting a link to promote all of the local events taking place to raise funds for Tsunami disaster relief. Holy cow are there ever a ton of them. Find the official listings here. There are also many bloggers who are trying to find a way to help - and kudos!

The amazing outpouring of generosity and the show of the human spirit at its very best has been overwhelmingly beautiful. And at the same time, I’ve found it phenomenally sad.

Every single person I know has donated something - whether it’s $1 or $100 or more to the Tsunami relief fund. But only a handful of people in my circle make it a habit to be so generous with their time, capital and spirit during the rest of their lives. I know I’ve been guilty of the same thing. I never donated to charities to help the homeless and destitute here at home until I had to walk through the Downtown East Side of Vancouver to get to work every day.

The phenomenon is easy to explain - it’s the oldest advertising trick in the book. Give the people a personal connection to an event or product, and they’ll fall all over themselves to be involved with it. Use this toothpaste and you’ll have a brighter smile and fresher breath and be more successful. Buy these clothes and you’ll snag a fabulous mate. Donate to this cause, and you’ll save both the friend/family member that was affected, and perhaps the world! With Indonesia being such an international vacation destination and the sheer numbers of those affected by the disaster, it’s hard to find someone who wasn’t directly impacted by the event.

It’s much harder to find people who have been impacted by the trouble in the Sudan (where over 50,000 have been killed), or the hurricaine in Haiti earlier this year. What about the thousands of homeless and struggling families right here in our own city that are so easy to ignore as we float above them on the SkyTrain, or drive past them in our cushy SUVs? How about the kids who could really use a big brother or big sister - when’s the last time you volunteered or donated your time, money or goods to help these causes? Have you ever been inspired to organize a fundraiser for any of them?

MSF (Doctors without Borders) has already released statements that they have more than enough funding for their relief efforts in South East Asia. Will you still donate to them for other important efforts? Red Cross representatives have said that managing the well-intentioned but ultimately useless donations of goods is referred to as “The Second Disaster” in the non-profit relief-aid circle. Have those goods made it out of your house yet to organizations such as the Salvation Army that could really use them as the weather turns for the worse?

I’m not trying to slag anyone for anything they have or haven’t done - it’s still an amazingly powerful and inspiring thing that so many around the world are so inspired to give. I’m just trying to say “keep the flame alive.” Use all of this positive giving energy to keep your fundraisers going, and keep up the efforts to donate your time and capital to not only the Tsunami victims in South East Asia, but those who need your help around the world, and right here at home. Find a cause that matters to you, and do your best to strongly support it, not just in times of extreme (and well-publicized) disaster and peril, but all year.

You know what I can’t stand? Those people who disagree with absolutely everything you say just because they can. More than half the time, they don’t even disagree with your idea or the topic in general - but they’ll find a way to say the same thing differently enough so that it sounds like they’re disagreeing with you.

It seems to me that there’s only two reasons people would be like this:

1. They cling strongly to a fragile and often challenged (though deeply entrenched) system of beliefs and morals - and if they agree with anything that comes out of the mouth of anyone who doesn’t subscribe to that dogma, well they figure that’s the first step on the road to hell.

2. They’re disagreeable assholes in general (usually hiding behind the facade of “I like to be different” or “I’m more enlightened”).

I can’t decide which option annoys me more.

Not that I know anyone like that or anything….

Since Mandy asked not once, but twice in previous comments, and I don’t have anything else interesting to say at the moment, I present to you:

Jen’s guide for successfully going from very long to very short hair with as little trauma as possible

1. The Decision
Think about it for a long, long time. When you think you really want short hair, think for at least a few more weeks. If you can not go more than 2 weeks without buying some new hair bauble or barette or chopstick-like thing to stick in it - short hair is probably not for you.
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This is why the Republicans won the election. (link via Red Stapler)

Perhaps we should start talking to the “uneducated masses” instead of talking down to them.

Ok, wrong kind of earnest. I decided on a “somewhat but not too controversial” subject for my 2nd prepared speech. For my evaluation, I was told that it was an “eloquent and well-written argument for a controversial subject.”

Of course my voice wasn’t very convincing - my speaking talent is still pretty iffy, but at least I can write, right?

Speech content after the jump.
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Does any of this sound familiar to some of my fellow “Wet Coast” residents?

But the very worst part? The way people drive here in the rain. Ninety percent of the drivers seem to fall into one of two categories: (1) the “drive 20 mph over the speed limit like you would any other day, don’t bother to turn your headlights on, and pretend it’s not even raining” people, and (2) the “slow down to 15 mph, grip the steering wheel with white knuckles of death, and drive as though the world is coming to an end” people. The number one people area always crashing into the number two people, and that just makes traffic that much worse for the handful of absolutely perfect drivers out there like me.

Yah, I thought so too.

Strangely enough though, that’s from the lovely Martha, who lives in Phoenix.

PHOENIX Y’ALL! It doesn’t even get actual weather! Just sun. And apparrently a bit of rain. THEY HAVE AN EXCUSE.

In Vancouver? It. Always. Rains. A lot. We are internationally known for the vast number of days of the year where precipitation falls from the sky. WE HAVE NO EXCUSE! We should be GOOD at driving in the rain. And yet, we are not.

Actually, I am. What the hell is wrong with the rest of you?

My 2nd speech is one themed “Be In Earnest” wherein I speak non-offensively about something I have extended knowledge and opinions on. Uh huh.

From the instructions:

Choose a subject of current interest on which you have definite convictions. The world is full of controversial subjects, and you certainly have strong feelings about some of them. Your topic could be anything from taxes to street cleaning, arms control to barking dogs. Just be sure that you have a definite point of view, and then prepare a protest, appeal, or call for action that promotes your viewpoint.

We also received an email from the group leader today that asked us to pick a non-offensive subject, and remain respectful. I can do respectful - but non-offensive? I’m doing this class with a bunch of very conservative people. Any current issues I may have strong convictions about likely run counter to anything that anyone in the room would be comfortable with. Anyone have any ideas?

As the days go by, and I search my closet for “something to wear” it becomes painfully obvious that as time has gone by, my ability to look like a girl has flown right out the window. I’m still good with the makeup and hair, but the girlie clothes seem to have gone by the wayside.

I own more sensible shoes than heels. When did that happen? I think I have two skirts left that I’ll wear out of the house. Most of my shirts are all very plain.

I think a shopping trip is in order. Anyone have any favourite places that aren’t too expensive, and have feminine clothes that aren’t too trashy or trendy? Also, don’t say Jacob. They’ve ceased to carry sizes larger than 9, and that train pulled out of my station a loooooooong time ago.

I have just come to the realization that I am a bum. I do not take well to the life of a bum. Bums can feel okay sitting around all day, watching tv, eating convenience food, and accomplishing as little as possible. Like a bum, I engage in all of these activities on a (now) daily basis. Unlike a bum, I am not okay with this.

Unfortunately, getting out of this state requires me to step out and place myself into the new and slightly more unfriendly realm of “rejected”. Not only that, but I will not solely be rejected, I will be a rejected bum. I have had a job posting that I’m probably mostly qualified for sitting here for 2 days, and I still haven’t applied, because I’m just that terrified of becoming “rejected bum” instead of the prefixless and more ordinary form of bum.

I seem to have lost any and all motivation that I thought I once had. It is not a good thing.

Help?