As November draws to a close, and it’s FINALLY appropriate to start with the decorating of houses and wearing of Santa hats and sending of cards, there is a holiday dilemma that’s cropped up in my house.
When he heck are we supposed to buy our Christmas Tree?
A little background: I have been a fake-tree person for many, many years. I think the last live tree my parents had was when I was about 6. And I’ve always had my modest, wee, artificial trees in the various apartments I’ve lived in.
But lo, the man of the house has decreed that no plastic coniferous-tree-like abomination shall ever sully his holiday abode. And I’m up for some actual pine smell (epsecially now that I have a vacuum that sucks), so I figured, what the heck – real tree it is!
Thing is, this man of the house, he’s not so good with that whole “memory” thing – specifically in regard to the passing of time – and says things like “oh I totally did that just recently” when this thing he’s referring to actually occurred 7 or 8 years ago. Then when he realizes he’s conjuring up ancient memories he sits, mouth agape, at this betrayal by father time. How could memories that feel so fresh be so far past?
Or he says “Oh this other thing is still so far away, we have AGES of time to plan” – far away being about 3 days. Then when he realizes this other thing is only 3 days away (instead of the weeks he swore he had), he freaks out and pulls some sort of all-nighter to make up for the days that cruel father time sneaked right out from under him with nary a how d’you do.
So you can understand that when he says “Oh, we can totally get a tree this weekend, I always get mine right around now – it totally won’t die by Christmas” I’m a bit skeptical.
So now I turn to you, gentle reader, to clue me in: Can I buy a live Christmas Tree this weekend and still have it glorious and green, and not a brown and droopy shell of its former self by the 25th? If not, when?
And if I can, where the heck in the Vancouver city limits do I find such a thing? Because the man, all he remembers is going out into the woods at the back of a farm and cutting one down “like it was yesterday.”