You Shall Bring Me A Shrubbery!

So, about that real tree: here it is!

Christmas Tree

It did not arrive without some difficulty.

We ended up getting the tree from the lot on Broadway at Maple on the 4th of December. Signs all around the lot scream “FREE DELIVERY,” so after forking over our $50 for a 6′ Noble Fir, we asked if they could deliver it the next evening (since we had plans the rest of the week, and had set aside the evening of the 5th as designated tree-trimming day). The guy said “Sure,” took our address, and we were on our merry way home.

Tuesday evening rolls around, we’ve moved the furniture and acquired or unpacked the supply of lights and baubles, poured some nog, drank that and poured some more nog, and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

By the time 10:30pm rolled around we were exhausted and decided to give up on the tree for the day and go to bed – we’d deal with the missing-tree issue tomorrow.

So of course at 11:15 we’re just this side of conscious, and the phone rings – tree’s here!

Apparently the tree lot people deliver after the lot closes at 11:00pm. Either that or they mixed up and realized at the end of the night that “Oh Shit! We still have this other tree to deliver!”

In any case, we dragged the tree into the apartment, and promptly thrust it out on the balcony where it stayed until Friday. With no water. Because we’re awesome.

So did the tree go up on Friday? Sortof. With the tree sitting out for so many days, sap had surely coated the bottom of the trunk, preventing it from taking up water. A fresh cut was in order.

Except we have no Saw.

No matter – I stop at Home Hardware on the way back from work and buy a saw. But while I am handy, I am not always knoweldgeable, and I brought home a saw for metal instead of wood. It did not work so well for the lopping of tree trunk. After an hour or so of futile back-and-forthing and cursing, I finally convinced Neil to just use the Skill Saw already, and kickbacks be damned.

It worked like a charm, of course.

So we put the tree into the stand, right? Wrong.

The hole in the stand is too small.

So we break all the rules of proper tree care, and start chiseling off a layer of bark and trunk to make it narrow enough to fit through the hole. Apparently the bark is the most effective part of the tree at sucking up water, but so far it’s still standing and actually drinking water and not brown (except for those few branches on the inside that I’m pretty sure we killed by leaving it outside for 4 days anyway).

We were so fed up and tired by the time the tree was in the stand, we gave up on the idea of lighting and decorating the tree and left it for another couple of days.

But by Sunday night the tree was trimmed and looked every inch the festive arbourous symbol of holiday cheer!

So yah, it was a huge hassle to get it. And it made a huge mess. And I forget to water it more often than not.

But it’s also beautiful and majestic and makes the whole house smell like Christmas.

And how can I say “No” to that?

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3 thoughts on “You Shall Bring Me A Shrubbery!

  1. vi

    *fiddles with her 2ft tree*
    TA-DA!
    this glorious tree of just under 60cm tall is my compensation of many many a year of such bollocks.
    (it’s even smaller than my pointsetta but that’s aok as this year added bonus i managed to even retain all my fingers)
    ps pls email me your new addy as i intend to send you a foreign card

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