Step 1 (we can have lots of fun… ok - I’ll stop now….)

1. Arrive on a trpoical island, exhausted and beaten down by airport asshattery and airplane air, grab a beer and head straight for the beach to watch the sunset. Say “screw the camera” because there will be more of them to photograph. Eat dinner, watch hockey streamed from Sportnet (hooray for slingbox) and fall alseep before the end of the first period.

2. Bake in the sun all morning. Take lunch break. Go shopping all afternoon. Burn. Oops. Return with large bottle of aloe and hide from the sun for the rest of the afternoon. Drinks at bar across the street. Sleep.

3. Bake in the sun all morning again (with liberally applied sunscreen this time). Lunchbreak. Realize that leaving the island tomorrow sounds like the least fun ever, and spending 2 days in Miami alone isn’t sounding so hot either. Contact airline and extend trip by 52 hours.

Steps to come: A sunset horseback ride tonight, diving tomorrow, and hopefully trips out to stingray city, hell, and the turtle farm. Frankly, my hometown peeps are lucky I’m coming home at all.
(more…)

Last night I stayed at the Fairfield Inn Marriott in Doral (aka Miami West) since it’s near the airport. It’s nice - I recommend it, especially the business centre with free internet.

I didn’t wanna fork out $80 to take a cab to the beach and back at 6pm, so I asked what was nearby for me to hang out, grab some food, and kill some time. I ended up at the Doral Ale House. It’s a pretty typical pub with good beer, good eats, and good company.

It’s where I met Natalie and Eddie.

Natalie’s a commercial leasing agent, originally from Puerto Rico, and 32 year old single mom of two - a 9 year old boy and a six year old girl. Both are with their daddies this weekend. Eddie’s a 40-something State roofing contractor, in Miamy by way of Texas, whose 20-something year old son just came back from a 2 week vacation in Vancouver. They both love sushi. I’m putting them in the “good shit” column of people I know.

They both agree that people in Miami are generally rude and stand-off-ish, so it’s extra lucky that I ended up meeting them, else I’d have been sitting around all by my lonesome last night. Instead we sat at the bar and talked about Miami, Vancouver, Sushi, Grouper, Cars, Kids and beer. Then Eddie went home and Natalie and I went to Starbucks, where we talked about life in general, exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up on my way back out of town if I had time.

Both were really surprised that I wasn’t staying in South Beach or Ft. Lauderdale. That’s where all the tourists go. Though personally, I’d rather hang out and meet real people doing what they do every day, than a band of roving drunkards - which is what I’d get during Spring Break in South Florida.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t aim for the touristy stuff on my way back. Or - speaking of which - even now. Must run, I have a date with flipper!

A list of things I am rapidly discovering I’m not a fan of:

-19 hour days, followed by 4 hours of fitful airplane sleep.
-Airports, specifically Pearson, on so many levels. We have it SO GOOD at YVR.
-Other people’s children.
-Bell Internet kiosks.
-Having to strip down (not all the way thankfully) to clear US Customs.
-People in general.
-Stupid race officials
-Did I mention a stunning lack of sleep?

And now I’m going to go and find a corner to curl up in before I re-plane.

All I have to say is, this would be infinitely worse if I actually had luggage to check! If it can’t fly carry-on, it doesn’t need to be brought.

Kisses!

You know you want to.

Just in case anyone cared to know, a bikini wax is one helluva way to get over a hangover.

Haircut blogging. Because I’m too busy for anything more substantial.

Between trying desperately to get everything finished at work, and get everything prepped and packed for my trip, I’ve barely had time to think.

That, and someone’s been keeping me up WAY past my bedtime (which is why I look stoned in the photo - really I’m just running on about 3 hours sleep a few days in a row).

We’re into the home stretch, and it’s now a mere 5 sleeps until Vacation! And so I present to you (more for my benefit than yours) what I will need to am going to attempt to get done (in addition to that whole “full-time-job” thing) in the next few days:

Monday:
-Order T-shirts for rowing crew
-Attempt to clean up house so it’s not filthy and/or smelly when I get home
-Laundry
-See friend’s musical
-Start packing
-Make list of things I still need to purchase for trip

Tuesday:
-Hair Appointment, cut & colour
-Contemplate hiring maid service
-Make final hotel bookings & submit final travel documents to airline for potentially speedier departure
-Yoga class
-Deal with all technology hardware/software I need to bring (laptop, mp3 player, camera, etc.)

Wednesday:
-Shopping trip for the things on the list from Monday
-Set up payments for any bills due during the time I’m gone
-Look around in disgust at the cleaning that still needs to be done and make mp3 playlist instead
-Mani/Pedi
-Hot Hot Heat at the Red Room

Thursday:
-Bikini Wax on my lunch break
-Work a billion hours to finish up everything that needs doing at work while I’m gone
-Say a little prayer that things don’t disintegrate in my absence
-Last-minute rowing practice
-Boat unrigging and loading onto regatta trailer
-Pack rowing gear for weekend regatta
-Give up entirely on cleaning, and adopt “frat house” as new decorating theme

Friday:
-Finalize packing, and cry at seeming lack of space for copious amounts of duty-free liquor and carribean rum cake
-Take thievables out of car
-Confirm plans with friends to water my plants, drive me to the airport, pick me up from the airport
-Schlep two sets of luggage to carpool driver’s place
-Pick up Crew T-shirts
-Head for Seattle

Saturday:
-Wake up at Ass O’Clock
-Rig boats at O-Dark Hundred
-Race shortly thereafter
-Collapse
-Race again
-Unrig and load boats
-Tear-ass back to Vancouver, considering the folley of not booking a flight out of Seattle instead as I panic the whole way back that I’ll be stuck in an 8 hour border traffic lineup
-Go to Airport and FLY AWAY!

My Tim Horton’s Roll-up losing streak now stands at 0/15.

And life couldn’t be better.

Remember I mentioned that I only win at the Roll-Ups when something catastrophic happens. Boyfriend dumping, Job ending kind of terrible.

It seems that the opposite is also true.

The more I lose, the better things seem to get.

-Work is gearing up yet going well, and it looks like leaving for Vacation won’t be as catastrophic as I imagined.

-My car has gone an unprecidented amount of time without needing any large-scale repair or maintenance.

-My landlord came by to check out the bathroom, and offered a $200 rent reduction for the month of April (because of the reno-hell) without me even hinting at asking for one.

-I’ve rediscovered snowboarding, which has been about eleventy-frillion shades of awesome.

-I’m completely adorable (thought I’d just throw that in there for anyone who wasn’t sure).

-I had a really, ridiculously good date last night. 8th Grade drawing names in hearts good. Getting home and closing the car door on my finger (ok, kindof ow) because I’m giddy and distracted good.

And now that I’ve completely jinxed myself, I assume things will start going wrong almost immediately. In which case, where’s my fuckin’ cookie, bastards!

Though I decided to lay low since the Firefighter fiasco, and have sworn off internet dating, I do have a date tonight. So far the 8-ball points to a good time.

But I was reminded of one of my particular neuroses as I was “date-i-fying” my purse before I left the house this morning. Normally I’m a “spectacles, watch, wallet and keys” kinda person, not really worrying about having much of anything more than those essentials with me for my regular day-to-day.

However, I put a little more thought into the purse just before a date. I’m like a freakin’ boyscout, prepared for nearly any emergency (most of which have happened to me at one point or another):

-Pocket sewing kit to tackle any last-minute button pops or seam rips. Nothing like losing a well-placed button at an inopportune moment.

-Cash-money (which I rarely carry otherwise), including a variety of bill denominations and change for parking meters. Comes in handy not only when dealing with parking, but I also make it a rule to carry enough to cover my half of the bill - because there are guys who will insist on going dutch.

-Extra car key, in case my flustered/distracted self locks the regular key in the car.I’ve done this more times - not necessarily on dates - than I care to admit. And while waiting for BCAA together after a good date can be a fun adventure, doing it with someone you aren’t getting along with ranks just above having your toenails removed with pliers

-Fully charged cell phone for any number of emergencies. Including making a clandestine call to a friend to set up a rescue from any number of unpleasant scenarios, or just calling a cab to go the hell home.

-Four colours of lip stick/gloss. I’m just indecisive, and some look better in certain lighting than others. Also, while sparkly looks great to start off with, I switch to a colour that will be easier for my date to remove from his own lips, should the night go that way.

-Gum, mints, losenges. Nuff said.

-Small vial of perfume. Smelling pretty is just a good idea in general. I tend to get a lot of complients on Clinique Happy Heart, or anything that smells like dessert.

-Makeup/hair touchup stuff. Useful if we end up getting caught in the rain, or getting hot and sweaty.

-A small pharmacy worth of medication, primarily consisting of pain killers and gastrointestinal relief potions. These are mostly a “just in case” scenario, but have quite literally saved my ass a couple times in the past!

Depending on which date it is, and my intentions for the night, I’ll also sometimes add a small arsenal of Elexa products, as well as a toothbrush, and perhaps a cozy sweater, hat and flip flops in the trunk. All part of my plan to never do the walk of shame (again).

I just like to be prepared.

What about you? For the girls and the boys, what are your date-night essentials? Have I forgotten anything that’s saved you in the past, or that you wish you’d had?

In manic preparation for the impending tropical vacation (10 Sleeps Away!), I’ve been going to my local fake ‘n’ bake to get a base tan.

While there, I noticed that my winter hibernation has left me with an ass that, while still fabulous clothed, is a bit more ample than it was over the summer and bears very slight resemblance in texture to an orange peel. Yes. The dreaded “C” word. No, not that one - that I’ll use. The other one. Cellulite.

Now I know some people are more prone to it than others. Even at my very tiniest, I’ve never had flawlessly firm skin. But it was a whole helluvalot less noticeable in August than it is now. And in somewhere around 264 hours, I plan on spending the majority of my days in a bikini.

So, what did I do immediately upon noticing this?

Contemplated my options over an extra large cookie and a full-fat latte, of course.

I never realized how handy that whole “opposable thumb” thing was, until one of them ceased working after I managed to fall upon it.

And so I present to you, a list of things I’ve found great difficulty doing today. An (L) behind each thing denotes the fact that I ended up having to attempt the movement left handed, (I am right handed, and not even slightly ambidextrous):

-Wash Hair
-Get bodywash onto pouf (L)
-Brush Teeth (L)
-Dry Hair with towel
-Brush hair (L) (have abandoned blow-drying, straightening and make-up today)
-Button jeans
-Do Up Bra (it’s seriously a miracle I’m dressed today)
-Scoop leftover pasta into tupperware for lunch (L)
-Unlock Car (L)
-Start Car
-Put car in gear (thank god it’s an automatic!) (L)
-Release E-brake (L)
-Drive
-Hold & Drink Coffee (L)
-Unlock my office (L)
-Hit Spacebar (L)
-Write (can’t do lefthanded - have adopted chicken scratch when necessary, otherwise have abandoned it entirely)
-Eat Lunch (L)
-Answer phone (because I grab at it without thinking - the whole grasping motion in general is not so good today - then recoil in pain)

I’m R.I.C.E.ing it for 5 minutes every 30-45 minutes, so I’m hoping it heals up relatively quickly.

However, I’m pretty glad I have a fairly private office, because I look like a big dork as I whimper with my hand stuck straight up in the air holding an ice pack.

First off, I’d like to say that despite the fact that my digital cable box officially barfed up its innards and quit last night, I have survived relatively unscathed.

At least I had Vonage to play with!

That’s right, I made the switch, and have abandoned my Telus landline phone. My decision was mostly financially motivated. I rarely use my home phone. However I like having two lines. That way the telemarketers have something to call, as does my family in an emergency when I’ve turned my cell off for a change.

Why?

I realize a pretty significant savings by switching. Just shy of $10/month. The Vonage basic plan (500 minutes/month and a whole slew of features) is $19.99 plus taxes, for a grand total of $22.79/month. My old telus basic, feature-free line is $27.66/month, plus fees, taxes, and any long distance calls I might make. Last month’s bill was $32.72.

Even factoring in the setup fee ($39.99 + tax) and shipping for the free VoIP router ($19.99 + tax) the change will have paid for itself in 7 months. Technically 4, because being referred by a friend (more on that below) garnered me 1 month free!

The fact that telus was kindof evil not too long ago and I’m giving them less money (since they are the incumbent and own all the phone lines in the province, Vonage pays reseller fees for them) is an added bonus.

Pros thus far

Cheaper than regular phone service. Duh. No contract either.

Keep your own number. There’s no charge for the line transfer from your existing carrier to Vonage.

Dead. Easy. Setup. If you already have a router (which most people I know do), it’s literally four steps:
1. Plug vonage router into port on existing router.
2. Plug in new router’s power cable.
3. Plug Phone cable into new router.
4. Start making calls.

If you’ve ordered online, your equiment has even been pre-activated, so there’s no online setup component either.

The sound/voice quality is excellent. There is a remarkable lack of background noise.

All the benefits of VoIP: A complete online dashboard detailing usage & storing voicemail audio files. Emails when voicemail arrives. North America-wide long distance. Free Vonage to Vonage calling. Actual phone portability. Bring your VoIP router with you anywhere on earth, plug it into an internet connection, and your existing number works. Purchase extra numbers (with any North American areacode) for about $8/month. If I end up moving across the country for school, this means I can keep my local Vancouver number, making it free for friends and family here to contact me, as well as a local to wherever I am number for people there. Plus all of the features such as Call ID, Call Waiting, Call Return, Call Forwarding, SimulRing, etc. that traditional phone companies nickel and dime users for.

Excellent customer referral program! A friend has Vonage and emails me the referral link to sign up with. After I’ve been with Vonage for 3 months, I get 1 month free, she gets 2 months free. Damn good deal for the early adopters who can refer 6 friends. That’s an entire year of free phone service!

Cons so far

My phone (a factory refurb 900mhz cordless that cost me about $12) sucks. It always has. VoIP exacerbates the problem, and I get a ticking noise in the background that comes and goes. People on the other end of the line don’t (from what they’ve said). I’ve talked on the phones of friends who have Vonage, and you’d never know the difference between VoIP and the land line. I plan on getting a new phone, and will post again on quality when that happens. Frankly, I’m not concerned.

There’s only one phone jack. Well, two, since there are two in the modem which can be split any number of times. However, they’re in the location of the modem only. There are a few ways to solve this: rewire your home (there are actually instructions on the Vonage site for this). Get wireless phone jacks, which only require a power outlet to plug a phone into. Get a multi-handset cordless phone system - again only requiring power outlets at phone locations. Of course unlike a hardwired, corded phone you’re SOL on phone talking if the power goes out. Again, I have a 900 sq. ft. apartment, and didn’t have more than one phone (cordless) anyway. These issues haven’t changed my personal phone experience.

It won’t work with phoneline wired apartment buzzers. I’ll have to plug in a dedicated buzzer telephone to let people in. Many newer buildings will allow you to program your buzzer to whatever phone number you use (cell, VoIP, landline) - mine’s not one of them.

911. Because VoIP services bypass the normal phone system, they’re also not wired into the 911 system. The onus is on the VoIP user to ensure address info is kept current, and that is passed on by Vonage to the 911 operator should you dial it. If you are unable to speak, assistance will automatically be sent to your address on file. However, Vonage (of course) takes no responsibility for a breakdown in communication between its information and your local 911 service. Knowing that all local cell carriers now have E911 fully implemented (if you can’t speak, they’ll triangulate to your cell and send help to it), and that I’m a pretty safe, healthy individual, I’m ok with that level of potential risk. If I had someone disabled, elderly, or terminally ill in my home, it might be an issue for me.

Switched

For me, while the list of cons is significant, their impact on me and my situation vs. the direct benefits I get from switching to Vonage made the choice easy.

If you wanna join me, and make the switch yourself, leave a comment or drop me a line, and I’ll send you the referral email. Remember, it means you get a free month of happy VoIPing too!

UPDATE: (21-03-06) I just purchased a set of GE 5.8MHz phones, and any sound quality issues I had have been eliminated.

Originally uploaded by melodrama.ca.

Is up with the weather lately!?!

(really, just an excuse to post this cute pic, courtesy of Mel, taken during the monsoon last Wednesday)