Raise Your Hand if You’re Absent

The sale of the company I’m about to no longer work for closed as of this morning (if you’re just tuning in, I just quit – so the sale has zero bearing on me whatsoever). And the lemmings, they are ANXIOUS! And also FRIGHTENED! Which means I am currently very, very amused.

This is the 2nd time the company’s been sold in the past year. Last time they finalized a sale, they sent out meeting requests to everyone to gather in different rooms to be given the official announcement.

What they actually did was send a meeting request to everyone who wasn’t being fired, to meet in the Cafeteria. Everyone who was being fired (about 20% of my office) was told in groups of 10-15 people all in separate rooms that they’d just been axed. Nobody actually realized until after the fact that there had been separate room requests made.

You can only imagine what happens now every time a company-wide announcement goes out.

Earlier today an announcement went out for a company-wide conference call with the new CEO tomorrow morning. Except apparently the merging of the email lists hasn’t quite been worked out yet. So some people got the announcement, and other’s didn’t. MADNESS ENSUED.

I believe I’m on my 5th copy of the email now – each one from a different HR or Management personality – and it finally has a disclaimer on the top saying “There is a problem with the email distribution lists, please forward this to any of your co-workers who haven’t received it!”

And as if that weren’t enough, we haven’t even been granted the dignity and respect that we’re autonomous beings of just dialing in to the call from our cubicles. No. We’ve been instructed to gather around our respective Team Leader’s desks and listen to it on speakerphone. For support or cameraderie or some such bullshit. Or maybe just to make sure we’re not sitting at ourr desks listening to mp3s & blogging isntead of participating in the call. Not that I’d do that!

However I may show up drunk.

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5 thoughts on “Raise Your Hand if You’re Absent

  1. AhBook

    Something similar happened to me at a company that I worked for. There was a 10:30 company meeting, but then half the staff was invited to a 10:15 meeting.

    Needless to say, the people who went to the 10:15 meeting didn’t quite make it to the 10:30 one.

  2. Java

    Damn jobs! Its pretty chilling reading that story tho. It would feel like being back in grade 4, and not getting enough points to see the movie in the afternoon class… and ended up writing lines instead.

    Hmm… I have a feeling the bitterness may last a bit here

  3. Chris

    Jobs + alcohol = fun. There’s a beer fridge about 3 feet from my desk, and another about 25 feet away.

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