This is probably of little interest to you, unless you are a) related to us or b) totally enamored with other people’s children.
But in case either of the aforementioned applies, Isaac has been getting incredibly chatty lately. I present:
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
I want to preface this post with a very big I AM OKAY – because it (spoiler!) deals with some new-mom emotions. I am not depressed, please don’t worry, but we all have tough bits and this was one of mine. Okay? Onward!
If you’d asked me before last week what I was afraid of, you’d probably get an answer like “spiders.” You still might, really, because eeeeeech. But until last week I had never known fear like what I experienced when I saw “the face.”
Poor, wee Isaac had a nasty case of diaper rash, and to help sort it out, we were having some quality naked-baby time to air out his tush. And, as eventually happens with babies (naked or not), he peed. Except he ended up with fresh, hot urine on his burning, exposed rash (for those without kids, baby pee & poo, when combined, create a reaction that turns caustic and eats away at tender flesh – that’s diaper rash).
And that’s when he made “the face.”
He turned bright red, his eyes watered up and glazed over, he screamed in a way I’ve never heard before. Like Clarice’s lambs. My baby was in the throes of complete, utter and abject terror. He was really hurt and so very afraid.
Even getting his vaccinations, or when I’ve taken a small chunk out of his fingertip when trying to cut his nails, Isaac’s yelling and tears are more angry and indignant than afraid. They come by accident, or for his own good. And in any case, they’re quickly forgiven and forgotten, by both of us.
But this one’s different. Not for Isaac. He has (I hope) gotten over it the way he gets over most things. He was cleaned up, made comfortable and returned to his usual smiles.
For me though, that face haunts me. Seeing it again is what I’m afraid of.
And I am not a “soft mom” – I am pretty nonplussed by Isaac’s cries, because frankly he can be an impertinent asshole. It is also one of the few forms of communication available to him, so it’s what comes out when he’s over-tired, over-wet or over-hungry. We solve the problem and move on.
But those terrified shrieks and wails, as if he really believed his little life was in grave, imminent danger and going to end in a torturous, painful way, they broke me. They are what I see and hear in my imagination in dark moments when I’m extra tired or feeling sad. The fear that he will ever feel that way again just wrecks me. Especially knowing if it does, I may not be able to prevent or fix it.
Also, knowing that I would do anything, anything, for him to not feel like that.
I suppose you may already know this fear if you are particularly empathetic. But I strongly suspect this is what the nebulous “they” are talking about when they say you do not know how fiercely you can feel about another person until you’re a parent. And frankly, it’s as overwhelmingly frightening as it is overwhelmingly wonderful.
The 2010/2011 NHL season has come to an end, and while it didn’t finish up at all the way we wanted (especially thanks to a crowd of douchebags), the Canucks gave us one of the most exciting season’s we’ve had in 17 years, and I’m glad we got to experience so much of it in person.
And a huge part of being there to take it in was being able to take Isaac with us.
For those unaware, Rogers arena applies the same rule to babies as airlines do: they can attend, in your arms, until they’re 2 years old (after that, you need to buy them a seat of their own).
There are also a few other family-friendly amenities and services at the arena that make bringing baby along a bit easier.
All of the washrooms have change tables (usually near the handicapped stall), but there are also family/accessible washrooms at either end of the arena (sections 103, 109 and 319) with a change table, chair and sink. They’re well-used, so hunkering down to nurse (especially over an intermission) seems like it’d be a tad inconsiderate to your fellow parents, but it’s a much less chaotic space to change a baby than the regular washrooms.
You can also bring your stroller right into the arena with you and check it at customer service (section 114 and 310). I’m thinking this would be super handy for heavier babies, or even if you’ve bought your toddler a seat (bonus tip: Guest Services also provides free booster seats – deposit required!) and he or she isn’t so good with the walk to and from your vehicle or transit to get to and from the arena.
In addition to the arena amenities, there are a few things we always bring along to make sure Isaac’s comfortable (and we don’t miss much of the action).
A baby sling. Isaac will curl up in pretty much any carrier and crash out after a short walk. We’ve found the sling works best for games, because it keeps him close without being bulky. It also works equally well for sitting as standing, and we don’t have to wrestle it on and off as we pass Isaac between us. Bonus: we can drape the tail of the sling over his head to block out some of the atmosphere if he’s getting overstimulated.
A convenient nursing setup. This is obviously a personal preference thing, but during a 3 hour game, a baby’s going to need to eat at least once, and it’s best to be prepared. There isn’t any extra elbow room to be wrestling with pulling your shirt half-off, or fiddling with complicated snaps and straps, so any garment (nursing-specific or not) that gives you quick, easy access to nurse your baby is going to be key. I also use a nursing cover because a) I’m a giant prude and don’t enjoy the idea of flashing 18,000 of my closest friends and b) the cover blocks out distractions so Isaac focuses on eating rather than everything else.
Ear Protection. If I hadn’t found this, I wouldn’t bring Isaac to the games, period. He’s got a lifetime to ruin his own hearing with whatever noise kids are listening to by the time he’s old enough to annoy me with his musical preferences. While he’s young, I’ll try my best to preserve he hearing he’s got. I’ve even found that the music and ambient noise at the games has gotten so loud, we’ve been bringing earplugs for ourselves as well. Has it always been that way, or am I just getting old and crotchety?
Anyhow, the only earmuffs I’ve found for the tiny set are ems 4 bubs. The headband earmuff cups are extra small to fit little ears, but still offer 22dB noise reduction. The headband (instead of the over-head bridge that regular earmuffs have) ensures even pressure around your baby’s still malleable head. Locally I’ve found them at Hip Baby on West 4th, or you can order them online.
And that’s pretty much it. We plan on reprising our hockey plan for baseball and soccer games this summer, and maybe football in the fall. After all, he actually seems to have a pretty good time watching the big boys play.
One of my favourite bloggers, Laurie, recently wrote about being first, rather than being right.
Her post reminded me that I get so caught up in trying to say the right thing, or trying to say something the right way, that I often miss saying anything at all.
(Yes, this is totally one of those mea culpa re: delinquent blogging kindof entries.)
So! I am going to try something new! When I have an idea for a post, I’m just going to write it. And publish it. And try not to hate it for being poorly written or overly trite or unintentionally grammatically imperfect. Let’s see how that goes, yes?
Because I miss conversing with all y’all. How are you doing anyhow? Have I told you lately that your hair looks great? Because it totally does.
The other weekend was the 7th annual Northern Voice social media conference. I’ve attended this conference many times in the past, and this time went avec Isaac.
I was a bit nervous about bringing him along, even though the conference has always been billed as welcoming kids, because of what happened last year.
Reader’s Digest Version for those who don’t want to click: There was a noisy baby during the Keynote. Some people thought this was okay, many didn’t.
After “Babygeddon 2010″ I was one of the many who agreed with the “Anti-Noise” sentiment. I also have a permanent bug up my arse about anyone who (deliberately or not) acts as if their actions are allowed to negatively impact the comfort and enjoyment of everyone around them. So I really REALLY wanted to make sure I treated bringing Isaac along as the privilege it is, and that his inherent baby-ness didn’t take away from the experience for any of the other attendees.
From the number of cute-baby coos I got at the conference, and total lack of hearing anything about a “Babygeddon 2011″ during or afterward, I’m calling this one a success.
I like to think it’s because I put a lot of thought into how I’d tackle attending the conference with a baby. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Know the event. I’d never, ever bring a baby along to one of those $3000/week professional conferences (as opposed to a more casual community event). Most of them expressly forbid anyone under 18 in the venue for liability reasons. This conference, however, has a long history of allowing parents to bring their kids along for the ride, assuming the parents can keep the kids safe and unobtrusive.
2. Know the Venue. I also made sure I was familiar with the venue and the places I’d be able to sneak away if things started to go sideways.
3. Know your baby. Isaac is still at a stage where he basically eats, sleeps and poops. And not much else. I knew he would pretty reliably sleep in a sling through sessions. Whenever he started to act like he was going to wake up (and I know he likes to announce the fact that he’s awake) I’d make sure I gathered everything together so I could bolt in a hurry with a minimum of disruption. I also left the sessions I attended just before they ended, to avoid the thunderous applause, which would’ve been almost sure to startle the kid.
4. Timing is Everything. I made sure I got to session rooms early so I could get a good spot near the door for a quick escape. I also kept a close eye on the time so I knew when Isaac would be likely to start to fuss and could be ready to dash.
5. Have a baby-wrangler. I didn’t plan as well as I could have for this one on Friday. I didn’t have a solid plan for handling Isaac during lunch or bathroom breaks. Thankfully I have some lovely friends who held the baby at lunch so I could wolf down a sandwich. I Brought Neil along Saturday to deal with almost all things baby, which worked out MUCH better. I just had to duck out for feedings.
6. Lower your expectations and have a Plan B. This last point was the biggest thing for me.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to attend all, or even any of the sessions if Isaac was having a bad day. I figured if the acoustic situation was the same for the Keynotes as it was in 2010 (thankfully it wasn’t), I’d miss them entirely. I was ready to admit dragging a baby along was a bad idea and just go home to drown my sorrows in chocolate cake and ice cream.
I had accepted that it was essentially okay to fail.
This is a very strange concept for me.
And it seems to be crucial to surviving life with baby. If the kid is having a terrible day, I just need to let him have that and try again tomorrow. The bad mood won’t last, the world won’t end, and I’ll have a chance to do something else to fulfill my grown-up needs sooner rather than later. Everything will be all right.
Any other parents out there want to chime in on bringing their babies to adult-oriented things? What works for you, both in keeping your kid from being disruptive, and maintaining your own sanity?
Finally caught on film!
My friend Derek passed away yesterday.
We met in 2005 at the first Northern Voice social media conference, and though we’ve never been close, he (and through him, his family) has always been one of my favourite blogging colleagues.
Since meeting, I’ve learned we have many friends in common, which is something many who knew him will find. Derek was one of the most universally well-liked people I’ve ever met. His gregarious personality was only outdone by his generous and gracious spirit.
I’m so glad we were able to see him for one last visit, and introduce him to Isaac a few weeks ago. I miss him already.
In typical Derek fashion, he’s carefully curated his website so that it will remain a legacy of his humour, creativity, talent and (most recently) dignity and strength living with and dying of cancer.
Derek had hoped to live to see some of the stunningly beautiful Spring days the Lower Mainland has to offer, and the weather yesterday served up just that. I hope he enjoyed the view before he slipped away.
Derek was such a force, he hardly needs any of our efforts to ensure he leaves a legacy, but it would be wonderful if you would do any of the following:
1. Tell your loved ones you love them, and be kind to each other;
2. Donate to the Canadian Cancer Society, if that’s your thing;
and above all else,
3. From this day forward, never ever use more than one space following a period.
Dear Isaac,
I am shamelessly copying so many better bloggers that have gone before me down the path of motherhood by writing you an online letter, but I can’t think of a better way to share what life has been like with you so far. So here we go.
It seems like the past two months have simultaneously flown by, and like it’s been this way forever.
You are fascinating. Watching you figure out the world around you and take it all in is stunning. Especially so in the past couple weeks, as you’ve transformed from being a benign (and adorable!) lump to becoming much more interactive and having quite a personality. You have opinions, not about anything critical (mostly whether you’d rather bounce or swing your way into a nap, or whether to eat quickly or slowly), but still, I am constantly amazed that you are really a real, tiny human.
So considering there are now three of us working together at this crazy thing called life, it’s nice to feel like we’ve all really started to gel as a family as days are settling into something resembling a routine.
You wake up in the mornings any time between 5 and 6 am, and Dad grabs you and brings you into our room for your breakfast, then starts the coffee. The three of us hang out for an hour or so before he heads off to work. Then you and I get up for your second breakfast. You eat like a Hobbit!, next up is elevensies.
Between second breakfast and elevensies you usually take a nap, which I am extremely grateful for. This is when I get to shower, and deal with one or two of the small mountains of laundry you create.
Speaking of the laundry, let’s talk more about that for a moment. The volume of spit-up you generate is becoming discourteous. I worked hard to provide you with that meal. And if you’re not going to keep it in, at least don’t add insult to injury and demand more after ejecting most of your meal. The well is dry kid, better luck next time.
Aside from that, though, you really are pretty chill, and once you’ve eaten (again) it’s usually time for adventure! This is when we head out into the world for a walk, a workout or to visit with friends. You’re comfortable almost anywhere and happy to be passed around and cuddled by anyone who’ll have you. You charm everyone with your little rosebud lips and big, blue eyes.
In fact, one could go so far as to say you’re really, really, ridiculously goodlooking. Because of this, your early reluctance to turn to the left as well as the right, and your recent experience as a model for a local baby clothing company, your Auntie Ki has dubbed you “Zoo.” I’m sure you will develop a taste for orange-mocha frappucinos and grow up to do great things for kids who can’t read good, though I hope your friends are spared the fate of perishing in a tragic gasoline fight accident.
But back to the present – I do wish you’d succumb to a nap when the afternoon sleepiness hits that gives you big yawns, heavy eyelids and a fierce temper, but we soldier on until your dad gets home, when you bust out the biggest smiles of the day! That’s right, you’ve also started to give us big, open-mouthed, big-eyed grins. I’ve tried to catch them with the camera, but so far you’re just too quick!
With the lack of afternoon nap you do get a bit frantic as the evening wears on, and a walk in the Ergo with Dad and the dog is usually enough to calm you down and get you ready for bed.
This is probably very odd for a new parent to say, but I think you are my favourite in the middle of the night. You wake up a couple of times to eat, and you are all business. Your Dad goes to fetch you from your room, and though you’ve been fussing, you quiet down as soon as he walks in. Your eyes are so wide, and you are so still as you endure the routine of a diaper change and head in to the bedroom to eat, which you tackle with the focus and seriousness of an olympic sharpshooter. Then, as soon as you’re done, you pop your head back, throw your arm over your eyes in dramatic fashion, and drift back to sleep.
Before I know it, morning comes and we do it all over again.
I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about being a Mom, but even though it’s only been two short months, it seems pretty great so far. That could be the delusion brought on by a lack of sleep, but whatever it is, I’ll take it. I hope I keep finding little things to enjoy about you when you’re being a terrible two-year old or surly teenager.
But even then, it’s pretty clear that you’ll always be my little Monkey Toes, Captain Pouty-Face, Tiny Baby.
Much Love,
Mama
Even though Pregnant Women are Smug, Neil and I have both tried really hard not to be “smug parents” or let parenthood entirely consume or change us too much.
This has actually been pretty easy so far, especially these first 6 weeks while Isaac is highly portable and able to nap easily in his carseat, stroller, carrier or sling. We’re also very lucky to have a pretty easygoing baby. Not to say he doesn’t have his moments (or entire days), but more often than not, he’s a pretty chill, happy little guy.
So far, parenting (or, more accurately, the care and feeding of an infant) for us is Not Hard.
But one thing falls into the realm of “things parents can totally be smug about” in that “you can’t know until you’ve experienced it” way:
The Tired.
The total exhaustion that comes from not having slept more than 5 hours at one stretch (and usually more like 3 or 4) for so many weeks is physically draining in a way that’s hard to comprehend by anyone who hasn’t been there, done that.
I also grossly underestimated the energy drain that comes along with putting one’s abdominal cavity back together from the inside-out, and continuing to be the sole food-source for a now external little parasite. I suppose it makes sense that rearranging the contents of my torso and managing the conversion of nutrients into consumable and digestible milk, instead of mainlining nutrition through the umbilical cord are calorically intensive, but really, I had no idea. Honestly, it still doesn’t make sense that what feels like even sitting around doing nothing is so draining.
Not to say all I do when not feeding or changing Isaac is sit around, far from it. We visit and walk, run errands and do yoga and baby storytime. I love getting out of the house (especially now that the sun is coming out). I’m just now used to doing everything in a bit of a fog.
Neil isn’t immune either. His sleep is just as impacted, more actually, since he takes over the baby-wrangling in the late evenings and early mornings when I try to bookend the night with a couple extra hours of sleep. On top of that, he goes to work each day and actually has to *think* and be productive.
So yes. The sleep thing? I apologize to any parent I have said or thought were exaggerating. Because holy cats, it’s real.
At least so far any worries I had about feeling bored or under-stimulated are unfounded. Because honestly? Right now, thanks to that fog, I’m just too tired to care.
It’s hard to believe time’s gone by so quickly, but little Isaac is one month old today!
Everyone says “they grow up so fast” but it’s really true. He’s already so different from the baby he started out as. And speaking of the baby he started as, I’ve finally managed to write down his birth story.
It’ll live on this website at some point, but it’s so long (and not everyone’s cup of tea) that I put it on a separate page.
And now I must run again, since Captain Pouty-Face (who is a champ at hulking up these days) is demanding his frillionth meal of the day.
Feed Me Seymour!
So Good.
The only problem so far (for the blogging anyhow) is that between rounds of baby-wrangling I have time to either have thoughts, OR record them, but very rarely both.
There are pictures though!
And lots more on Flickr. Thank Neil, he’s been doing most of the uploading.
Enjoy them, and hopefully I’ll become more coherent and the kid will give me more time to express that sooner rather than later.
A week ago today I was starting off what was supposed to be my last week of work. I had just hit Inbox Zero, and was down to one last big thing on my to-do list for the week. Other than that, I figured I’d pitch in with whatever small tasks I could, get in some quality office-socializing and the last of the knowledge transfer, and (if we’re being totally honest) sneak out early a couple of days.
A week ago today I was thinking about the glorious 2 weeks of puttering and preparing I’d have to get ready for the baby’s arrival. Finish putting up the new headboard we upholstered the weekend before, wash and put away all the baby clothes (currently in bags and boxes in the crib) we’d accrued, finish the last bit of shopping for things like crib sheets and wall-decor. Bake a bunch of bread and treats for the freezer. Wash the windows. Grab lunch with a few friends. Finally put the car seat in the car. Nap.
A week ago today, we had our home visit with our birth doula, who was officially on-call for our birth now that I’d just passed 37 weeks, or what is known in the medical world as “full-term” even though most first babies don’t show up until 41 weeks, 1 day. We went over our birth preferences draft, talked about all the little things I was going to do over the next couple weeks to prepare, and when to call her once things finally got started.
A week ago today we were most of the way through an episode of House when I got up to pee, did that, was about to get off the toilet when there was a distinct *pop* in my belly, and a whole lot of not-pee gushed out.
I’ll document a full account of Isaac’s birth story later, but labour was incredibly fast – like the compressed for TV versions that don’t actually happen to people in real life – and the kid made his grand debut at 5:48am, Tuesday March 1st.
With most of a week under our belts, this parenthood gig is actually pretty cool. We are understandably tired (sleeping in 2-3 hour stints isn’t particularly restful), but focusing on not taking on much more than hanging out, resting and baby-wrangling during the day. I’ll go ahead and jinx us now by saying it all seems pretty do-able at this point.
The kid is healthy and mostly happy (the rest of the time, he’s either sleeping, or living up to his middle name). He, like all infants, has the mental capacity of a goldfish (ooh look, a castle… ooh, bubbles…. look, a tree…. ooh look, a castle….) but it’s obvious his big, blue eyes are curiously taking in the world around him (within his 12″ focal point) and trying to figure it all out.
So far he’s got his mom’s prominent chin and the furrow in her brow. He has his dad’s feet & toes. He has a perfect replica of Pantone’s formula for Yellow 012 C somewhere up his ass, or so his stunningly vibrant diapers would lead you to believe.
And I happen to think he’s just about the best thing ever, in that way apparently only parents can.
So eager to join life on the outside, he made his debut 18 days early!
Happy Birth Day Isaac Odin Watkiss!
It’s gonna be a wild ride.
Update (March 5th): Thanks everyone for your kind wishes and congrats! We’re all settling in and enjoying getting to know each other.
Apparently this guy REALLY doesn’t want to get some of our work emails. And yet can’t find the unsubscribe button:
Subject: SPAM EMAILS
REMOVE ME FROM YOUR FUCKING SPAM EMAILS! STOP SENDING ME THIS SHIT!
[redacted], LUTCF
[redacted] and Associates
www.[redacted].com
317-[XXX-XXXX]
317-[XXX-XXXX] fax
Faith, Hope and Charity.
Yah, read that last line of his signature again.
I’d love to actually publish this idiot’s name and business info, but I don’t think that would be particularly charitable.
If you haven’t checked the update on my last post, mere hours after putting my frustration out to the universe, Inger McCrae, proprietress of the Campfire Grill (along with her husband Mike McCrae), commented on my post with some excellent directions to their even more excellent BBQ!
Tucked in the entrance of the Eagle Vista RV Park (Directions hint: if all else fails, follow highway signs to Eagle Vista RV Park) is the great little trailer that’s home to Campfire’s prep area and attached to an assortment of grills and smokers. It does look like a couple of tiny shacks, but the best version of a shack that’s cute and comfortable and clean and a place I’d love to spend a lot of time hanging out on a late summer evening. There’s even a fire pit, and Inger & Mike have marshmallows for roasting!
But, enough of the ambiance, you say, what about the food? DELICIOUS!
We tried their BBQ Feast for 2-3, so we could sample a little of everything. And it was all good!
Neil gave two big thumbs up to the coleslaw, which is a ringing endorsement. His tastes for slaw are very personal, and his standards are high. He is generally wary of any slaw with mayo (as it often ends up tasting like mayonnaise soup), but the slaw at Campfire is a perfect mix of creamy and acidic, with a nice addition of crisp apple to the green & red cabbage and carrots.
I would say the only disappointment was the beans, except they weren’t exactly disappointing, they were good, just a bit boring compared to how excellent everything else was. I have yet to find local baked beans that can hold a candle to the Memphis Blues Pit Beans.
The Campfire Grill Smokin’ BBQ has only been open since May long weekend, and after tasting the food I can see how they did a brisk business over the summer!
It’s great to see more excellent BBQ able make the move from private backyards and competitions to full-time “restaurant” offerings in this part of the world. And looking at Campfire’s Facebook page, I’m looking forward to trying more of the awesome things that come off Mike’s grill. It’s certainly now a must-stop for me if I’m going to or through Squamish.
