WorldWideWaterCooler

First off, I would just like to lay claim to my crown as the best gift-giver I know. And with the holidays coming up I figured I’d let you all in on the secret, so you can share in the glory.

The key to giving a great gift, and delivering it well, is two-fold:

1. Find something meaningful to the receiver, and then
2. SURPRISE them with it!

This one-two punch is really key, and the thing that will distinguish you from any other gift-giver this person has ever received a gift from.

For Example:

Neil turned 30 yesterday, and I managed to surprise him with a Fender Stratocaster, and an amp and all the bits and bobs in-between.

I managed to pile it all on his side of the bed when he got up this morning to pee, and he was blown away and totally delighted.

He’d had a similar guitar in high school & university, which was stolen (along with a bunch of other things) when his house was broken into many years ago. They were never replaced. Since then, he’s acquired a new acoustic guitar and has occasionally commented on acquiring an electric one.

It’s one of those things that’s just frivolous enough that it never quite makes the top of the list on “stuff I’m going to buy myself” but consistently lingers in the back of the mind as an “I’d really like to have one of those someday.”

Those things make the PERFECT gifts.

Nevermind asking people what they want, the answer is usually something they could still imagine buying for themselves. After all, if they couldn’t imagine buying it for themselves, how could they imagine anyone else buying it for them? Another good tack is to get an oft-mentioned but never acquired childhood, teenaged or young adult desire. These usually take the form of particular cars, concert tickets, musical instruments or experiences (yes, you can buy the opportunity to captain a schooner for a day if you wish).

And these gifts are also often not expensive. A copy of a favourite book, or a photo or image of their favourite place can be more meaningful than many other things. The key is finding something that strikes a chord with the recipient.

So if your person has mentioned something a couple times, perhaps non-committally, and you know they’d never buy it for themselves, and you want to be the best gift-giver they know, go ahead and get it for them. They will really, truly appreciate it.

An aside here, point 1b if you will, is to make sure you are giving a COMPLETE gift. It would’ve been silly for me to get just a guitar, since Neil would’ve had to go shopping for an amp before he could use it. By gifting the whole package, he could take the guitar, amp and cable and play with his new toy right away.

Use a similar approach with any gift you give, and everyone will think you put 10x more effort into the gift than you actually did. For example, if you give a digital camera, make sure the battery’s charged and get some extra memory so it’s ready to use right away. If you give a lovely candle, some matches and a snuffer. A great book gets a bookmark, and maybe some tea (or other beverage/snack your giver likes) to enjoy it with. See? Easy!

Which brings us to part the second: the surprise!!!

This is honestly the hardest part of the gift giving, and the part that elevates your already very good gift to GREAT.

DO NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD. TO ANYONE!

Most people I know are highly lousy secret keepers. And really, they aren’t invested in making you a supreme gift giver anyhow – it just raises the bar for them.

You can tell people who your gift recipient is unlikely to encounter, such as co-workers or your book club group or something, but do not tell any mutual friends.

This might kill you. But remain strong!

And do not allude to the gift, the gift giving occasion or anything to do with either of the two. If the recipient offers up a few suggestions on gifts, take them graciously. If they ask whether you’ve found something yet (rude and greedy suchandsuches they are!) simply shrug nonchalantly and say “Oh, I have a few ideas I’m working on” and leave it at that.

And you’ll find you’ve finally made it to the gift giving occasion! Huzzah! Hand over your carefully chosen parcels and enjoy the exhuberance and excitement radiating off the recipient as he or she opens their gifts.

You are now a gift-giver extraordinaire! Bask in the glow of their admiration. You deserve it!

Yes, I’m still here. Just a bit useless at blogging. I don’t know why I think I can manage to crank out posts when I’m traveling – I don’t even get much sleep when I’m on the road, let alone quality computer time that isn’t taken up with, you know, work.

(And blackjack, which is a whole other story. Actually a very short one: I started playing blackjack for the first time ever, had a good run, went out the next night, and promptly lost miserably. Bally’s giveth, and the Hard Rock taketh away. The end.)

Anyhow, here I am, back at home. And I do have a couple draft posts rattling around – which would you like to read first:

1. The long-overdue mayonnaise post
2. A minor update on the living room decor, now with small DIY project

Choose Ye! Post tomorrow.

I wish…

…I were brave enough to wear fascinators
…my actions more closely mirrored my thoughts
…I had more patience
…I’d known about iTunes radio sooner!
…I’d eaten something other than brownies & coleslaw (not at the same time) for dinner last night
…you were here
…I’d packed a lunch for today
…the weather would firmly settle into fall, so the “sweat” in sweater would be a little less literal
…this weren’t “leftovers week” in our kitchen – so many recipes waiting until next week!
…you would share your Monday wishes with me!

Things I meant to do last night:

-Laundry
-Change bedsheets
-Write strata council treasurer’s report
-Upload pictures of closet (so I can finally blog about it) and cool fire dancing photos
-backup blog so I can upgrade wordpress

Things I did instead:

-Watch TV
-Bake cookies
-Go to bed early

Perhaps today will be better.

Meals eaten involving BBQ’d meat: 5

Times I had cheesecake for breakfast: 1

Hours spent cleaning our apartment top to bottom: 5

BBQs hosted: 1

BBQs attended: 2

People crammed into my apartment at once: 15

Degrees it reached in my living room while 15 people were crammed into it: 30 C (that’s 86 F)

Kilometers biked about town: 20

Pictures printed, framed and hung: 6

Holes needlessly punched in the wall: 3

Baseball games watched at the prettiest little ball park in North America: 1

Empties left in my apartment after the weekend: 4 champagne bottles, 6 wine bottles, 12 beer bottles.

Proportion of those empties consumed by me: quite a lot.

Naps I’m going to require to recover: many.

How was your weekend?

I was going to write something substantial, but I couldn’t thing of anything. So I give you this:

Found at Lifehacker. The Emergency Party Button

In the past couple months, I’ve reached critical mass of “things” in my life. There are a lot of balls in the air (without sign of lessening that load any time soon – more likely increasing it), and I am at serious risk of dropping even more of them.

Since we came back from the wedding, I’d been driving myself absolutely batty, freaking out about uncharacteristically losing a few things.

I’d managed to misplace the secondary set of wedding rings we bought and wore on our honeymoon (and planned on wearing on vacations where we were apt to lose the real ones, or where they’d draw undue attention), along with a wedding card from a distant relative with a not-insignificant sum of cash inside. More recently I’d completely misplaced my Nexus card and, though I hadn’t looked for them, realized on my last trip I had no idea what I’d done with my noise-canceling headphones since the trip before that.

This is VERY unlike me. I do not lose things. Not even insignificant things, nevermind expensive ones.

I also knew I was getting to a dangerous point with bills. Not like I’d forget to pay anything, because most of it autopays out of my bank account – but there were months of statements I’d not gotten around to opening between trips. I really had no idea what the state of any of my accounts were.

I was feeling the same crunch at work. My normally manageable and well-filtered email inbox had hundreds of messages in it. I was firefighting to solve as many problems I’d created with my own scattered brain as had just arisen as problems are wont to do. I’m certainly not paid enough at this point to take on the kind of responsibility that would have me making decisions or missing actions that would sink ships – but I was certainly on my way to wholly preventable fuckups my boss and her bosses would notice.

It was beyond time to do something.

So I looked in to using David Allen’s Getting Things Done system.

I tackled it first at home: dealt with the stacks and scads of paper and crap that have been amassing in random piles all over the place, got an inbasket and made a bunch of files as I went. It’s not perfect yet, and it’s not done, but it feels SO GOOD to have started.

I plan on taking the day on July 1 to fully implement the system at work. The office should be mostly empty, so it’s a perfect opportunity to deal with things before I go away again, and be able to deal with the pileup once I return.

And considering with the little bit I’ve already done, I managed to find the rings, the greeting card, my Nexus card, my headphones, and a few other things I’d forgotten that I’d forgotten about – I have high hopes for a more organized, more productive future.

Have any of you implemented GTD or another productivity system in your lives? Want to? Tricks to share?

I started writing a general update-slash-stream of consciousness post, but I was boring myself (so can’t imagine what anyone who might read it would think). So I deleted it and decided random short paragraphs would be better.

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The title of this post has nothing to do with anything, except the fact that I have Aquafresh Whitening Trays in my mouth right now. Sure, they’re only once a day, but you spend 30 minutes choking on mint-flavoured peroxide and drooling on yourself, and that one period of time per day will feel like an eternity.

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There was a time, long long ago in an entry far, far away when I promised I’d reply to all my comments. I started doing it by email, until I realized I was giving essentially the same response (especially to comments that asked questions), or I was getting email bounce-backs, so I’ve started just replying to comments in the comments field. So, uh, sorry if you were waiting for a reply from me at any point – check the comments of the entry you commented on – your answer/acknowledgment is probably there.

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I am desperately sad that I have watched the last two episodes of jPod and MVP. I’ll admit that they started off pretty bad, and the MVP storyline was completely ridiculous, but the jPod actors were getting so much better, and MVP was supposed to be a footballer’s wives ripoff anyhow, so ridiculousness is sort of de rigueur. Considering the only reason I knew the shows were even going to exist is because of a very short commercial during a Hockey Night in Canada broadcast (the fact that I watched a commercial at all is remarkable in and of itself), I place the blame squarely on the CBC and its lack of promotion.

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I have a confession to make: I’m a bad citizen. I had the opportunity to vote in one of the recent federal by-elections (I live in Vancouver-Quadra) and didn’t. I didn’t actually know of the election until the day-of, and by then didn’t feel like being a totally uninformed voter and toeing a random party line (not having paid much attention to party policies in the past while either) would do anyone much good – so I just didn’t vote. I apologize, and will endeavor to do better in the future.

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I am reluctantly admitting to being a bit crafty. Not crafty as in clever, I’ve been like that since conception, but crafty as in one who crafts. I had a sneaking suspicion about myself after reluctantly going to a pottery-painting event and enjoying it, but wasn’t ready to go any further than that. Now I’m doing a few handmade craft-style touches and embellishments to a few elements of our wedding, and damned if I’m not actually enjoying it.

I have always equated being a crafter to someone who makes those awful toilet-paper-holder dollies. You know the ones – someone’s grandma has bought a plastic faux-barbie doll from the craft store, and knit or crocheted it a dress with a gigantic skirt, made to fit over a roll of toilet paper, as if the paper was a huge crinoline. Often accompanied by a matching (in pattern, and hideousness) kleenex box cover. Either that, or someone who bedazzles rhinestones onto the eyeballs of all the cats on their Northern Reflections Sweatshirts.

And I am soooooo not that person.

But I am enjoying hand-making some things, and adding embellishments (rhinestones not included) to make them a little more appealing. So maybe I am crafty. Just a little.

As long as it is known that I do not knit. Or scrapbook. And I still consider “bedazzler” a four-letter word.

And with that, the timer just went off for these godforsaken mouth trays, so with that I say adieu!

I was all set to write a ridiculously upbeat post about how excited I am about our upcoming wedding, rambling on about all the little details that are coming together and confessing my complete and utter surrender to being one of those overly giddy and completely wedding obsessed brides to be.

But I’m just not feelin’ it the last few days.

Thanks to the miracle of Facebook, I found out that mid-last-week someone I went to High School with passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly.

Before Facebook, I had kept in contact with absolutely zero people from High School.

While the sting has mostly subsided, High School wasn’t a particularly pleasant time for me. I fell somewhere in the middle of the social spectrum, being fairly relentlessly picked on by a certain group of people, and in turn doing my fair share of picking on another group of people. And of course there were people I was friendly with, and people I just didn’t really interact with at all.

Justin fell somewhere between the latter three groups.

We were in homeroom together for the entire 5 years of High School. We both worked at the local McDonald’s for about 3 years. As far as I recall we never had any type of deep or meaningful conversations, but were always pretty friendly. With one notable exception: he was a persistent, insufferable, unapologetic flirt. And I would continually shut him down mercilessly. There wasn’t any actual hostility in it – it just felt good (as any teenager can testify) to try evening out the social playing-field. Someone laid the social smackdown on me earlier, I took it out on someone else.

Anyhow. Facebook came along, and within the past 4 or 5 months I’ve friended or been friended by probably a good 30% of my graduating class. Justin was one of them. Looking back through my archives, we exchanged about 3 “how’s life” wall posts. I figured I’d see him at the 10-year reunion (coming up this summer), we’d chat briefly, all move on with our lives much the same as we all were before.

Then (and this is now from 3rd and 4th-hand accounts) sometime last week he stopped showing up for work. Nobody could get in touch with him. This wasn’t like him, so his parents eventually had the police go to his place and check on him. He’d had an anneurysm and died.

And, strange as it seems, I’m really bummed about it.

Bummed that he was a good person, a really nice guy, and I hadn’t been nicer to him. Bummed that sometimes shitty things happen, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

I feel really badly for his friends and family and the tough time they’re going through right now.

And I feel completely weirded out that had it not been for Facebook, I’d just have no idea at all that this had happened.

I was pretty surprised the first time I was chewed out – no pun intended (you’ll get this eventually, I promise) – for expressing this long-held and apparently errant belief.

It doesn’t help much that the people “in the know” have been battling the stereotype for quite a while, so they tend to get a little testy and short-tempered about the spreading and proliferation of misinformation and misconceptions.

In fact, I find it hard to restrain myself (now that I am one of the “enlightened ones”) from correcting others when they trot out (oh, another pun!) the old, tired cliché. I even bit my tongue during a brainstorming session at work where it came up – because the first rule of brainstorming is that you don’t judge, correct, or otherwise trample on the ideas of others.

But then Alice mentioned it in her blog post a couple days ago, and I knew I could be silent no longer! I mean, she’s a pretty popular blogger, the potential for prolonging the proliferation of this particular piece of pop-trivia is just staggering.

So here goes – prepare to have your world turned upside-down:

GOATS DO NOT EAT EVERYTHING, AND IN FACT ARE REALLY QUITE PICKY!

There. Now you know.

What goats are is destructive. They will chew anything they can reach. The list of things they will swallow, however, is apparently pretty limited. A goat’s notorious pickiness is apparently the bane of many a goatkeeper.

Anyhow. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Also, this is what happens when you say “yes” to marrying a guy who grew up on a goat farm (and has the 4H Champion Herdsman awards to prove it). So really, you’ve been informed, and warned!

Neil and I were planning on taking an impromptu vacation over the Christmas break, partly to try and avoid being home to see if we could postpone closing on our new place until after the GST goes down on January 1st, and partly because we’re sad we won’t be in our new home for Christmas – something we’d really been looking forward to – and wanted some sort of consolation prize.

Then we were told by our Lawyer that there will be a transitional period around the GST change, and while we may have to pay out the 6% tax initially, we can fill out some paperwork to be reimbursed for the additional 1%. Huzzah!

So we re-thought the vacation thing. I’ve been away a lot lately, and Neil is going off to Ohio next week, so another set of flights wasn’t really appealing. That, and with the upcoming moving, new furniture and wedding costs, we could afford a small getaway, but really couldn’t afford to chase the sun.

But dammit, we still wanted our consolation prize!

So we trundled off figuring we’d start looking at new digital cameras, since we were planning on buying one for the honeymoon anyway, and thought it would be nice to have something that wasn’t 2 megapixels and 4 years old to take holiday photos with.

We walked into Lens & Shutter, intending to look at the latest in point & shoot technology. But for the kind of pictures we want to take (travel landscapes, low-light and night-sky shots) we admitted to ourselves what we knew all along – a pocket camera was going to be completely inadequate.

So we started looking at larger cameras – and by that point, in terms of price, one might as well start exploring the world of entry-level digital SLR’s. So we did. And walked out of the store with the Pentax K10D.

Neither of us has followed the world of digital SLR’s particularly carefully, so we weren’t even aware there were entry-level options other than the Canon Digital Rebel and Nikon D80. But Pentax, despite coming a bit late to the digital SLR game, has put out a camera that competes on price with the lower-end Canon and Nikon lines, but competes on features with the much more expensive Canon EOS 30D and Nikon D200. It’s a pretty incredible value for money.

The three pictures in this post represent the 3 best (read: only passable) pictures of the 200 or so we’ve taken so far (wine by Neil, dogs by me).

Next step: picking up a book on digital SLR photography to figure out what all the features mean (seriously, I don’t even know what an F-Stop actually is) and taking a short course on digital SLR photography. Any recommendations?

Heather (aka fubsy, aka nuttymuffin, aka “the hotness”) has put together a 2008 calendar of her beautiful photographs.

This is the same woman who captured me licking my new TiVo at BestBuy waaaaay back in 2005. That’s right – I pioneered the technology licking movement that won Tod Maffin his Wii.

But I digress – Nuttymuffin calendar. I got one, you should too.

Jen-licking-TiVo photo not included.

1. One Laptop Per Child. I’m so doing this.

2. Firebug. You don’t even understand how much easier this just made my life.

3. Movember. The month is half over – don’t forget to donate to your favourite Mo’ Bro!

Do you (bloggers) ever get to that point where you realize you haven’t written for a while, and you want to, but because it’s been so long you have no idea where to start – you want to apologize for not writing because it has been so long, but you’re not actually sorry because you haven’t been up to anything very interesting – though a few things have happened and you feel you should mention them but you don’t because they seem far too insignificant to appear as the first thing on your blog after such a long absence and you end up so frustrated at the situation and your need to put something on the page that you end up just writing a huge run-on sentence instead of any actual content?

Me neither.

Anyhow, here’s a brief sampling of what’s been up with me lately:

Wedding stuff is still going on with a minimum of crazy-inducing antics. Note I said minimum, not zero, and while minimum is obviously better than medium or maximum, it is still far more irritating than zero. I am attempting not to drive myself nutty over it and/or throw things. So far I’ve been mostly successful at both.

Our new place looks closer and closer to completion every time we go by. The retail stores on the ground floor have opening dates that fall within the next couple weeks, and they’ve finally pulled the blue plastic off the windows. It’s so close we can almost smell it. Which obviously makes us hate everything about the place we’re in more with each passing day we don’t get our official notice of occupancy. Oh the list I could create of things that I am excited to leave behind – including our impending rent increase.

I’ve started running (stop laughing, Mom!). It’s not my favourite thing in the world, but surprisingly, it doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would. A good training program helps.

The countdown to travel is on. I leave for NYC in 10 days. I’m gone for a week, back for a week, then go to Vegas for a week. I am simultaneously excited and terrified, because I’m the lead for both these events and would rather not fuck them up. I actually think the likelihood of that happening is approaching zero, but I don’t want to jinx it.

Any requests for which of these to expand on first?

Sitting at my desk, drinking coffee, chatting with colleagues about the long weekend past, and getting my workflow in order.

I feel proud that I managed to shake off a poor night’s sleep and get in to work without incident.

I smile at myself, take another sip of coffee, and run my tongue over my teeth.

And it hits me.

I totally forgot to brush this morning.

ew.