WorldWideWaterCooler

Courtesy of the fabulous Ms. Raspberry. I may send out a few of these once I regain consciousness on the other side of New Year’s:

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Dear Mr. / Mrs. ___________

I am writing to apologize for my ________ behaviour the other night, and i hope that despite everything, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I should have known there would be a problem when your ______ first brought out the ________ of _______ that was so big it needed a handle. I was nervous about meeting you for the first time, and although i can usually hold my ________, i thought that having a few ________ would help me to _________. I was obviously very very wrong.

I honestly don’t remember much between _______ with your visiting relatives and _______, but i’m told that i made quite a scene. If past experience is anything to go by, I’m guessing I whipped out my ______ and said “______” a lot. I hope i didnt’ try to sit on your husband’s / wife’s _________ or make out with your ______, but at this point, nothing would surprise me. In my mind, I was just trying to be _______. All i know is that i woke up bathed in _________, with a blinding hangover, next to your ________ in the _________ in your driveway. I’m guessing you probably saw the big pile of ______ on the table where we tried to ________, but I’m hoping you didn’t walk in while we were ________. We disposed of the _______ in the ________, so hopefully you didn’t stumble across that, but i’m sure the lingering _____ smell was unmistakable. I have a vague recollection of the _______ arriving, so I guess the person the neighbours heard at 4am shouting “________” was me. Oops. Sorry again.

I’d be happy to pay for the _________ I broke (I only threw my ________ out of it because i thought it was open) and replace the tub of ________ and the plastic ________ that went missing, and if you have any trouble getting the _______ stains and the ________ marks out of the furniture, please send me the cleaning bills.

Please accept my sincerest apologies and this _______ that I made.

For what it’s worth, all the best of the holiday season, and once again, my deepest regrets for being such a _______, ________, ________. I don’t usually show people that side of myself until the second or third meeting.

Remorsefully,

________________________

PS - if a pair of black mesh _________ you don’t recognize turn up somewhere, they’re probably mine. Since you probably never want to see me again, you may as well just keep them.

And just like that, it’s all pretty much over.

Gifts have been given and received, family’s come and gone, food’s been created and consumed.

I’m currently curled up in one of two new sets of cozy pj’s, reflecting on the holiday. I got my very own Christmas miracle this year, and managed to be left to my own devices enough to plow through the 2nd half of “Memoirs of a Geisha” and all of “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” in just 2.5 days.

I had a lovely, reminiscent Christmas story all ready to post for y’all this morning, but I got too caught up making waffles for the family. And sometimes, that’s the way it should be. Maybe I’ll save it for next year.

I hope everyone’s Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Festivus/Solstice/Sunday was exactly what you wanted, and best wishes for the best of the rest of 2005!

Well, I’ve made it back to the homestead. Did a little last-minute shopping with dad, a little last-minute baking with mom, a little drinking and commisserating with the brothers, and it looks like I’ve got nothing left to do but relax and enjoy myself from here on in.

Hope your holidays are happy, wherever you are and whatever you celebrate.

From the WaterCooler to you, Merry Christmas!

…Solstice.

…First Day of Winter.

…2nd to last day of work before I go on holidays!

The Holiday bug has officially gotten me!

Every day this week the mail’s held a wee bit of cheer! Christmas Cards, the 12 Months of Chuck calendar I ordered, and my Secret Santa Gift!

And nothing puts me in the festive mood like listening to Dean Martin croon “Baby its Cold Outside” on repeat all morning. Especially when it conjures up memories of a walk I took not too long ago with a sweet boy to look at the Christmas lights in the neighbourhood.

Most of my Christmas cards are in the mail on the way to their recipients (though its not too late to request your own - email your address).

I’ve baked up a storm of tasty goodness, including Bite-Sized Cherry Cheesecakes, Mars Krispies, $250 Cookies (hoax email, tasty recipe!), and the Ultimate Christmas Peppermint Brownies.

Shopping is 98.5% done, and the gifts I have purchased are wrapped and under the tree.

I’ve got Christmas parties to attend on Friday and Saturday this weekend, and then one short week until I scamper off to the parentals’ for the festivities.

Oh babies, it’s Christmas Time!

Remember when I blogged about how nobody wants to be the “sock giver” at Christmas?

Well, we had the Spelunking Club Secret Santa this morning, and my Santa definitely did some research!

Apparently wishes really do come true!

I am the easiest, and the hardest person to buy gifts for.

I like receiving practical gifts. I will give those who request it a detailed list of what I want, including brand names, stores you can find them at, and approximate cost. People rarely like to buy me the practical gifts. Practical gifts are boring.

On the flip side, I don’t like it so much when they buy me the frivolous, shiny things. If someone feels obligated to get me a thing, I’d rather they get me a thing I need. (Yes, I understand some of you have eschewed the commercialism of the season - in my family we gift. That is the way it is. Rant elsewhere.)

Here’s my reasoning: I like to buy myself the expensive things. The gizmos, gadgets, designer clothes, shoes, wine… it’s a bit of retail therapy that I like to engage in. If I’ve met a personal or professional goal I set for myself, or just made it through a really shitty day/week/month, I use these as motivators and rewards. That whole system loses its charm when I start getting them for no good reason at all (other than someone felt obligated to get me a “something”).

And it really chaps my ass when I have to divert the money I’d rather be spending on shiny things, to practical stuff.

So, things I won’t be asking for this year because I’d rather spoil myself with them: an ipod nano, a digital piano, an LCD monitor, diamonds.

Things I will be asking for, that nobody (including myself) wants to get me because they’re boring: a network adaptor for the TiVo, a new hairdryer, a crock pot, a car-charger for my cell phone, socks, an emergency roadside kit.

Seriously. I’ve asked for socks every year for the past 3 years. I have yet to receive, because nobody wants to be the “sock giver.”

Sometimes it’s tough to be me.

ps. While I am stubborn with the gifting, I am a veritable Holiday Card Whore. I’ll give up the greetings to anyone and everyone. So email me if you want one already!

Oh my lovelies! I can not refrain any longer!

IT’S CHRISTMAS SEASON!

I do my best to make it past Rememberance Day, so that I can honour our Veterans without shadows of Silver and Gold creeping in to the day.

Sometimes I even make it past my Mom’s birthday on November 28th, so she doesn’t feel ripped off playing 2nd fiddle to Christmas.

BUT I CAN NOT WAIT ANY LONGER! I MUST BE FESTIVE!

The holiday drinks are back at Starbucks. I’ve picked up Gingerbread-flavoured everything, cider, and mulling spices. I’ve set aside time to decorate next weekend. I’ve started putting together my shopping and baking lists. There is only one thing left! Christmas Cards!

That’s right, if you’d like your dose of holiday cheer, straight from the Water Cooler, email me a mailing address for yourself and I’ll whisk off my favourite cardboard sentiment in your general direction! You’ve got just shy of a month from today to get your submissions in. The last batch will go in the mail December 15th.

Ho Ho Ho!

rubber duckie

Originally uploaded by peechie.

Yes, I’m still here. Just busy. I’ll be back soon. In the meantime, enjoy my rubber duckie - he makes bathtime fun!

Over there, in the sidebar!

(this way) ———————->

It’s a link that you can use to email me your postal address so I can send you a damn Christmas Card. Today’s the last day for submissions.

You know you wanna….

Those who worked with me last winter know that my mantra through the entire Christmas season was a daily Starbucks trip to procure a Grande Eggnog Latte and Cranberry Bliss Bar.

Now that I’m on this whole health kick thing, I figured I’d check out the nutritional information of the aforementioned mid-morning snack.

It consists of 75% of my target caloric intake for the day. *sob*

Some days it’s a very, very good thing that I don’t work within reasonable access of a Starbucks any more. I don’t think I could handle the temptation.

Nothing like starting your Friday by surfing a little work-related porn.

Also, I started my Christmas Shopping last night. I suppose that means it’s time to put up the tree & lights this weekend.

The stuff I bought yesterday is all random “Christmas-themed Gifts.” Meaning they’re really cute, and not intended for anyone in particular. I’ll use them for random relatives that I’m not close to who show up, and as hostess gifts for any parties that I end up attending.

Either that, or keep them all for myself. Because they’re really cute. Dear God. I feel the traditional Christmas Manic Swing starting up already….

Calling all eligible bachelors (or bachelorettes for that matter):

Are you having a fabulous Christmas party this season? Are you lacking an appropriate escort to said event?

Look no further! I am available! And I am cute, and socially proficient! (Or at the very least, I will not get so drunk that I dance on the tables and make a fool of you - unless you want me to.)

Though this isn’t because I actually like you, or because I’m interested in the party, or the people, or even the food & drink (unless it’s really good). This is all because there are so many fabulous holiday dresses out there!

I must have one.

And so far, I have nowhere to wear one (we don’t have a Christmas party where I work. We have “Celebration,” during the day, in January).

Even if you don’t have a fabulous soiree to bring me to, don’t forget to sign up for your very own dose of Holiday Cheer (see sidebar) from me to you.

I’d like to draw everyone’s attention to the ‘Holiday Cheer’ section in the sidebar.

If you’d like to receive a Christmas Card from me, email me your postal address, and away they will go! It doesn’t matter where you live - I’ll send a card to any complete address, anywhere around the world.

Everyone loves getting a bit of holiday mail - so bring it on.

In honour of the season, check out these little devils!