So, as mentioned previously I’ve decided I’m going to start running. In fact, I’m slightly past “deciding” since I’m on week two (after doing week 1 twice) of the Couch to 5K 8-week running program from coolrunning.com.

So why running?

I am not a joiner. While I liked rowing as an activity, my past experience reminds me that a sport training on someone else’s schedule is going to frustrate rather than motivate me. Plus (snob that I am) I want an activity for fitness and me time – not another social activity. Honestly though, I’m super busy these days and hardly see the friends I already have, and the whole team thing doesn’t really work if you don’t engage in any “off the water/field” teambuilding. I suppose I could row a single but I don’t like them much, I far prefer the bigger boats.

I also loathe having to travel to my activity – dragging gym clothes plus work clothes plus all the necessary equipment to get from one into the other (hair-things, body-things, makeup, etc.) just plain sucks. I want to roll out of bed, do my thing, then get straight into my own shower and get on with my day.

I must work out in the mornings, before work. Not only does it get me going in the morning (which is what I’m really looking for), but once I’ve sat down for dinner or on the couch on any given weeknight, I’m not likely to get up again. Once I’ve slowed down or stopped for the day, that’s it. Ask Neil, who pokes me back awake at about 9:30pm after I’ve fallen asleep on the couch for the umpteenth time and points me in the direction of the bedroom so I quit drooling on the upholstry.

Impressions so far

Running, when done properly, doesn’t totally suck. Sure after my first run I felt like I’d been hit by a truck for 2 days, but when I ran again on the 3rd day the very same run was noticeably easier. Then when I left it for 4 days, it was more difficult again. Instant results and feedback like that do a lot for motivation*.

A good training program also makes all the difference in the world. I’m using the Couch to 5k podcasts created by Rob Ullrey – they make it wicked easy to just plug in and go. No checking my watch every few seconds to gauge time, and some great ambient tunes that I can listen to while I just focus on that elusive “point in the distance” that I tell myself I need to get to.

Another thing that surprised me: I like mornings. What I don’t like is getting out of bed – but once I’m up, mornings are awesome. I am a “morning person.” Anyone who knew me during my teenaged years will likely fall down in shock and disbelief right about now, but it’s true. This whole morning person thing also makes me feel markedly better about definitely not being a night-owl (see: falling asleep on the couch around 9:30 just about every night).

Running makes me HUNGRY! That whole kick in the pants to my metabolism at 6:00am gears me up to be pretty ravenous for the rest of the day. So far I’ve been mostly good about responding to HUNGRY with APPLE instead of COOKIES – but only mostly. One thing at a time, people.

There is a camaraderie among runners. Those people I used to glance at the few occasions I was out and about at such an ungodly hour thinking “they must be insane” are now nodding and smiling and sometimes even saying “hello” to me in the mornings. You know the saying “if you can’t see the crazy person nearby, you are the crazy person nearby?” I’m now the crazy person.

So, all told, running has been going pretty well – I’ll fill you in on my progress again in a week or so.

*The week 2 program is seriously kicking my ass. I’ve run it 4 times, and still want to barf at the end every time. I’m just waiting for it to feel “easy” once, and I’ll ramp up to week 3.

So, I do believe that at some point last week, I promised a post of things that don’t suck. And failed to deliver. But! I do have, hot off the presses, something that definitely does not suck!

FREE STUFF!

Because I referred some friends to SPUD, I (out of 83 eligible referrers) won their draw for a prize! Three free sessions to build a personalized strength training and nutrition plan from Duquette Strength!

I had my first meeting with Roy Duquette today, and boy was that a wake-up call.

I know I’ve been feeling generally mushy and sluggish over the winter months, but I found out today that while I’m the same weight, and even a little thinner than I was a few months ago, my body is comprised of a whopping TWENTY-NINE PERCENT body fat. Gross. I have scenes from Fight Club running through my head. My poor, abused body only has 89.6 lbs of lean muscle mass doing the work to carry my lard around.

Hopefully, with Roy’s help, that’s all about to change.

I’ve picked up some supplements for protein, healthy oils, and greens, and have strategies to incorporate those into my already pretty healthy (but admittedly carb-heavy) diet. I go in later this week for a postural and alignment analysis, to tweak the nutrition plan, and to get started putting the workout together. After that I have one more free session of personal training.

And since we’re on the topic of health and all, there are a couple websites that have been sent my way for quick reviews – they’re both worth a glance.

Along the Fight Club lines, there’s a web campaign out (www.bewiseaboutbeauty.org) by the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. It’s exactly what you think – an information site about the details of various procedures, and recommendations on how to find a cosmetic surgeon.

Most interesting factoid? That Liposuction does not actually remove cellulite. Because tight bands of fibrous tissue cause cellulite, extracting the fat layer that resides just under the skin may actually worsen the dimpled look. Armed with that tidbit, I suppose I’ll just restrict my own personal plastic surgery experience to watching Nip/Tuck.

The other site is more about nutrition, but far less user-friendly. At eatbetteramerica.com (a project of General Mills) there are a few fun things to look at – if you can get past the super slow-loading flashy mc-flasherness of it all. While the site thankfully doesn’t brow-beat the user with brands the way some other sites (Kraft Foods) do with their “ingredient assembly” excuses for recipes – there’s nothing really revolutionary here for anyone who’s well-versed at all with basic principles of nutrition.

There is a pretty nifty section on how to “Healthify my Recipe”, where the test chefs take Aunt Ida’s Fatty McFatterson Mac & Cheese recipe (among others) and change the ingredients up a bit to make it less of a heart-attack in a bowl.

In case you don’t want to suffer through the flash (which has twice crashed my browser whilst typing this), I’ll give you the Readers’ Digest Version: Don’t start every recipe with a pound of butter, put down the fucking whole milk and eat a carrot or two!

Though I guess it’s hard to make these kind of changes when you don’t know where to start. And if you absolutely must have the Macaroni in your life, may as well make it healthy.

Which brings us back to my experience today. Roy was awesome in helping me find ways to incorporate extra supplements into things I’m already eating! My morning smoothie gets a boost from some greens powder and flax oil. Even my morning Choffee (hot chocolate powder in coffee) changes to Chocolate Whey Isolate powder in Coffee. Giving up coffee was non-negotiable.

So, armed with some new knowledge, and about to be gifted with more, I’ll try going about my day a bit more mindful of increasing my lean mass and getting fitter instead of fatter.

I’ll report in again as things progress – perhaps in a week, perhaps in a month – depends on how fast my body composition changes. Of course, it would probably go faster if I’d decided against my post-gym, drive-thru Chicken Snack Wrap on the way home from my appointment with Roy – which (FYI), if you are a fast-food lover, is another thing that (in my Mc-deep-fried-chicken lovin’ opinion) does not suck.

The ColdFX stops working if you stop taking it.

Someone please scrape out the inside of my face. It might feel better.

*whimper*

I never realized how handy that whole “opposable thumb” thing was, until one of them ceased working after I managed to fall upon it.

And so I present to you, a list of things I’ve found great difficulty doing today. An (L) behind each thing denotes the fact that I ended up having to attempt the movement left handed, (I am right handed, and not even slightly ambidextrous):

-Wash Hair
-Get bodywash onto pouf (L)
-Brush Teeth (L)
-Dry Hair with towel
-Brush hair (L) (have abandoned blow-drying, straightening and make-up today)
-Button jeans
-Do Up Bra (it’s seriously a miracle I’m dressed today)
-Scoop leftover pasta into tupperware for lunch (L)
-Unlock Car (L)
-Start Car
-Put car in gear (thank god it’s an automatic!) (L)
-Release E-brake (L)
-Drive
-Hold & Drink Coffee (L)
-Unlock my office (L)
-Hit Spacebar (L)
-Write (can’t do lefthanded – have adopted chicken scratch when necessary, otherwise have abandoned it entirely)
-Eat Lunch (L)
-Answer phone (because I grab at it without thinking – the whole grasping motion in general is not so good today – then recoil in pain)

I’m R.I.C.E.ing it for 5 minutes every 30-45 minutes, so I’m hoping it heals up relatively quickly.

However, I’m pretty glad I have a fairly private office, because I look like a big dork as I whimper with my hand stuck straight up in the air holding an ice pack.