WorldWideWaterCooler

I already love the holiday season, and in the winter of 2006, there was no better time (as far as Neil and I were concerned) to get engaged.

We’d already be seeing family and friends that are normally scattered far and wide, and everyone was pretty happy to add a little extra dose of good cheer to the already happy holidays.

Apparently, a whole lotta other people feel the same way. There’s a reason most wedding shows happen in January. And the newest show in the Vancouver lineup, Indie I Do, is no exception.

Put on by our fabulous wedding photographers, Blue Olive Photography, and lotus events wedding planners, I wish it existed when we were planning our wedding!

But all you newly engaged bridezillas-to-be needn’t miss out!

I’ve got three double passes to this fantastic show to give away!

Leave a comment with your own engagement story (or a comment with a link to your story on your blog) by Midnight PST January 9th and I’ll use a random-number-picker-thingie to randomly draw three entries over the weekend for a double pass to the show, taking place at the Heritage Hall on Saturday January 17th.

I do have comment moderation set up, so don’t fret if your comment doesn’t show up right away. And to win, you must be willing to send me a postal address to mail your tickets to.

Congratulations already on your engagement, and best of luck!

There are not many major life decisions my 8-year-old self got to make. In fact, there were three:

1. I would be married someday
2. I would marry a person whose last name was further toward the beginning of the alphabet
3. I would change my name to my spouse’s last name, so that I too could move up in the alphabetic lists, and enjoy all of the benefits that must come with it (such as being called first to present and getting first pick of gym and classroom equipment)!

And lo! I succeeded! I bagged myself a husband whose name starts with “Wa”, instead of my original “Wi”. I have also learned that my 8-year-old self needed to be much more specific in her demands of the universe, or more generally, to be careful what you as for as you just may get it.

Knowing now that being ruled by the alphabetic list doesn’t extend much past elementary school I don’t really have any logistical need to change my name, but have decided to stick to the principle of following through on what I asked for those many years ago, and become a fully-fledged Watkiss.

And it has not been nearly as difficult or expensive as other name-changing escapades I’ve read about. Perhaps it only seemed easy because I’d steeled myself for the worst. Nonetheless, if you’re changing your name in BC, here’s a handy guide to make it go as smoothly as my name-change has.

First, the Legal Name-Use Rules

According to the BC Vital Statistics Agency (scroll down to the bottom), “after marriage, you can continue using or choose to use your own surname at any time. You also gain the right to use your spouse’s surname. This does not result in a legal change of name or any automatic change to your identification records.”

So this means your Birth Certificate and Marriage License will continue to have your original birth surname on them. It also means that if you ever decide to revert to your original birth surname, you can use your birth certificate to go through the exact same processes to change it back. You never lose the right to use your birth surname or that of anyone you’ve ever been legally married to.

Also from the BC VSA, “if you choose to use hyphenated surnames, a legal Change of Name is required.” The Legal Change of Name also applies to creating a new family surname, or changing the rest of your name in any way (I know in some circles it’s popular to go from “First Middle Maiden” to “First Maiden Married”. And of course, this entire entry only applies to legal residents of British Columbia, Canada.

Name Changing in BC, Step by Step

Note: If you are disorganized or prone to losing things, have two notarized copies made of your marriage certificate, and put the original in a safe place. Carry those around with you for showing/faxing. This is not the voice of experience talking, but losing government documents like that seems like a bad idea and annoying to replace.

1. Go get a new driver’s license (or BCID card). I lucked out with this one, and happened into icbc driver’s services when there was basically no lineup. Show the agent your existing license and marriage certificate. They’ll issue a duplicate license in your married name and – depending on the mood of the agent – may let you take a new picture (otherwise the license will be issued with the picture already on file). This duplicate license should cost you a whopping $17, and will expire on the same date as your existing license (so you don’t get any extra time before you shell out another $75 for your $17). At this point you’ll be issued a paper temporary license in your new name. The new license will arrive within a week or so.

2. Immediately change one credit card. Then the next, then the ones after that. This may apply more to me than you, but I routinely travel to the US, where the rule seems to be to ask for ID with a credit card purchase, so it was important to have ID that matched one of my cards at all times. Phone your card company’s customer service line and ask what their name-change policy is. I found most of the time I had to write a short note with my card number, old name & signature and new name & signature, and fax that with a copy of my marriage license. New cards showed up in the mail about a week later. Do note (especially if you have pre-authorized payments on them) the new cards often came with new card numbers – making the old card invalid. This is why I advocate changing one credit card at a time.

3. Change your banking information. This one was easy – I wandered into the branch with my marriage certificate (and spanky new ID that they needed to see) and asked them to change my name in their records. I had to fill out a short form, and that was it. My bank happens to do personalized debit cards, so I also received a temporary card while I was there, because (you guessed it) my old-name card was cut up as soon as my name was changed. The new card showed up in the mail a week later. Also remember to order new cheques (if you have any use for them) while you’re there. Keep in mind if you use a virtual bank like ING Direct or PC Financial that their debit card name-change processes will likely be similar to that of the credit cards (meaning you’re without the use of your card for a week or so while the old one is invalidated and the new one is on its way). Make sure you always have a valid way to access funds you may need during that time.

4. Care Card. Another easy one – the BC MSP webpage has two forms to fill out, depending on your situation. If your employer covers your BC MSP premiums, fill out a group change form and submit that with a copy of your marriage certificate to the person in your office who deals with such things. If you cover your own premiums, fill out a replacement card request and send that to MSP directly with a copy of your marriage certificate. I fall under the former, and as far as I know, there was no cost to do this. I got a new card in the mail in about 7 business days.

5. Update your passport (if you dare). This was the one big name-change financial hit I took. Passport Canada recently changed their regulations so that you may no longer have an addendum added to your passport with your married name. If you’d like to have a passport with your new name on it, you must fork out the $84 for a new passport, regardless of when your current one expires, at which point you have a new renewal date 5 more years out. Of course because you retain the right to use your birth name (or whatever name you have on your passport), you don’t actually have to change it until your renewal time comes up (or ever). Just remember to book all airline tickets under the name in your passport – if they don’t match, you don’t get on the plane (marriage certificate or no – and yes, I honeymooned under my maiden name). I didn’t (still don’t) want the confusion of operating under two somewhat obscure last names, so I decided to change it right away. When you do change it, all you need is your completed and guarantored application, pictures and ID with your signature in your new name (so even your yellow paper driver’s license will work). I didn’t actually need my marriage certificate.

6 (and beyond). After that, my system was to just dig out all the cards in my wallet and collect pieces of mail I received with my old name on them, and work my way through the changes whenever I had a bit of time. Of course, nobody is consistent in their requirements, so I’ve become awfully adept at navigating customer service phone systems. Most places will accept a note and copy of the marriage certificate by fax. Some (Rogers Wireless, MBNA Mastercard) will just take my word for it over the phone, after answering my security questions. Others (Airmiles, Aeroplan) are far too anal retentive and self-important for their own good, and will require a letter or form and copy of the marriage certificate through snail mail.

A couple things I haven’t ventured into changing yet are my social insurance number and my Nexus card. Service Canada claims on their website that it’s as easy as wandering down to a Service Canada office with my ID and marriage certificate, and they’ll initiate the change. Nexus is completely vague and says I must just show up at their office at the airport during business hours – and considering I try to avoid the airport like the plague between 8am and 6pm, I haven’t been brave enough to do it yet. I do have a flight coming up that leaves midday (flying direct trumps flying when nobody else does), so I may attempt it in a month or so.

When I was hunting for name change info, I didn’t see any comprehensive local-to-BC guides, so I’m hoping this might help others find what I’d been looking for. Also, I’m sure there are things I’ve missed or that just don’t apply to me so I didn’t think of them – so please leave additional info in the comments!

Now that I finally have time to write, most of the memories about our wedding are getting quite hazy. Thankfully the pictures were just finished, so I at least have a reference for what actually went on.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous or edgy at all on our wedding day. I’d planned myself into a corner – the months of both self- and vendor-inspired angst had finally rolled themselves up into a neat little ball of an event that was just going to happen – and there was really nothing left for me to do.

Nothing, that is, except socialize with the flock of family and friends that had descended on the venue. I was sort of deluding myself into thinking that I would get some alone time and wouldn’t mind being the total centre of attention. I tried turning conversations to other people’s lives – no dice. So after the eleventy-frillionth time I was asked “how do you feel? are you nervous?” and with no last-minute details to distract myself with, I was a complete basket case.

Thankfully that didn’t manifest into more than an uncontrollable lip-quiver during the beginning of the ceremony. Neil was having just as hard a time holding it together as I was – but we both made it through like the rockstars we are!

We had a few people ask about the ceremony and vows we put together – when I get around to turning on the other computer, I’ll post a link to a .pdf with the ceremony text in it.

Of course the ceremony seemed to flash by in an instant, then it was off for photos. I heard the canapes and cocktails were good, but we were too busy being swarmed and shutterbugged and exclaiming “holy crap, we’re married!” to enjoy them.

And on to the party!

And when I posted the day after the wedding that it was the best party we’d ever thrown, it wasn’t an exaggeration. Everyone seemed to have a great time, multiple guests made a point of gushing about how our wedding was the best they’ve ever attended. The most rewarding bit from a bridezilla perspective was that every detail we’d thought of – from food to drinks, to decor, to the fact that we had babysitters, to the favours, the surprise outfit changes and just the mood of the evening – someone made a point of thanking us for, or just commented on how clever, unique and awesome we are.

Even the band emailed the next day to thank us for throwing such a great party where they really enjoyed the chance to jam and rock out (apparently not usually the case at weddings). And while everyone loved the fireworks finale, I think the pyrotechnician was most excited of all about the show he managed to put on (the guy was literally bouncing up and down shouting “did you see that? It was AWESOME!”

We left shortly after the fireworks, but apparently everyone else continued to party well into the night. Neil’s brother managed to find himself in a hottub fully clothed, and one of my brothers passed out under a bush.

I think that means we can officially call it a success.

If you’d like to view the photos, visit www.blueolivephotography.com/jen&neil. Slideshows are a nice sampling of the event. The full 800+ photo online gallery is password protected. The password is the name of the small town we were married in (lower-case). If you don’t know, comment and ask!

Well, we did it!

I’m currently hanging out in bed at the Fairmont YVR, drinking coffee and slowly waking up before breakfast. Our flight leaves at 15:10.

For the wedding, the weather turned around completely and we had beautiful sunshine as the perfect backdrop to a really lovely ceremony.

And the reception was definitely the most fun party we’ve ever thrown.

For pictures, stalk the Blue Olive site. I’m sure many of my flickr contacts will also be posting photos (we totally felt like celebrities with paparazzi all night).

And now I’m going to go get ready to fly away with my husband (and try to get more used to the words husband and wife).

In the meantime, check out my flickr page for honeymoon updates, and see ya when we’re home!

It finally happened.

Friday, March 21, 2008. Approximately 10:00am, PDT.

I lost it. I snapped. I screamed. I wept. I slammed doors and threw things. I became the complete and utter perfect picture of Bridezilla and threatened to call the entire thing off.

Over a $26 piece of hosiery.

Straw, camel, back. You know the drill.

Yes, the madness has overtaken me (or had – I think I’m mostly better now. Or at least have stopped screaming).

I can’t really remember the actual moment of snapping (blind rage does this funny memory-erasing thing) – but I do know it all started on Thursday evening.

I’ve been looking for a long, long time for a way to get my hot little hands on this product.

I called all of the local specialty hosiery dealers, to no avail. They sent me on a wild goose-chase from one retailer to another (Diane’s said try the Bay. The Bay said try Holt’s. Holt’s said “try Wolford, if they don’t have it, nobody will.” Wolford didn’t have it.

Wolford did sell me $150 worth of not-quite-good-enough substitute products (which I didn’t end up needing or opening, and can hopefully return for a full refund – or anyone want some fancy French hosiery). Other than that, I seemed SOL.

But thanks to the fact that I’ve committed the gross offense of living in the apparently backwoods unreachable realm of Canada, it proved highly difficult. Spanx does not ship to Canada. This issue is usually avoided by using a PO Box just across the border, but they also don’t accept Canadian billing addresses.

I had trouble finding any online business that carried Spanx at all (nevermind the particular product I wanted) who would ship to Canada. After my breakdown Neil did find one with an actual person he could contact and order from, while I rocked and sobbed in a corner. They’ve shipped the product rush with USPS (for the low, low shipping rate of about $45USD). But I’ve been burned by customs before, and don’t trust the shipment to actually arrive by Wednesday.

Yes I could’ve probably avoided the whole catastrophe by better sourcing and purchasing online months ago, but I was holding out hope that I’d find them (or something similar) locally.

But, hindsight is 20/20 and doesn’t help me find what I need within the week. So I started phoning retailers listed on the Spanx site to see if they carried that particular product. Heck no. They only carry the full out body slimmers that go from nipples to knees. And I explicitly needed the low-rise feature.

My last bastion of hope was to make a last-minute run for the border and drive all the way to my nearest Nordstrom. In Seattle. Over 200 kilometers away. Have I mentioned that while the car co-op is fabulous, they do charge usage by the hour and the kilometer?

And we went on a holiday weekend Friday, when the Canadian dollar is at parity, and everyone within reach of the border is driving across the line (the border line to get home was still 65 minutes, at 1:00am). And it wasn’t a holiday in the States, so once we finally made it across the border and into the Seattle vicinity, we were just in time to hit Seattle rush-hour traffic.

But we finally made it, and got to my beloved Nordstrom. Oh Nordstrom. Why must you be so far away. If I could marry Nordstrom I would.

Not only did they have row upon row upon row of Spanx in every shape, size, colour and style I could imagine, they also had a Bliss cosmetics counter, where I could pick up a gigantic tube of the only body butter to ever have gotten rid of my dry skin this year. I’d gotten a wee tiny tube in my hotel toiletries in New York last fall, and had trouble finding an online retailer to send it to Canada ever since (yes Sephora carries Bliss, no they haven’t had this product every time I’ve looked).

Anyhow. I got my Spanx. And the Body Butter bonus. And then we basically turned around and headed home to avoid spending any more money we don’t have.

So, to recap:

Hours of my time running around looking for a product that only lives online or at Nordstrom: $100’s of dollars
Desperation purchase of not-quite-right substitute at Wolford: $150
Desperation purchase and rush shipping online: $75
Co-op car run to Seattle: $200
The godforsaken ‘can’t live without them’ Spanx: $26.50
Sanity: out the window, probably gone forever

Not calling off the wedding because I’m delusional enough to cancel the entire thing because I refuse to have my dimply cellulite-riddled ass seen through my dress in public: priceless.

So, my co-workers are totally better than your co-workers.

They’ve been scheming for a week now, completely behind my back, to put together a surprise wedding shower. They even got Neil involved, and had him come to the office for the festivities.

I’d been having a completely insane day, between the regular insanity of getting ready to be off the grid (at least as far as work’s concerned) for a little over three weeks, as well as a project that got bumped up by two weeks today.

So when one of my colleagues suggested a trip down to Starbucks at about 3:00, I was game. He even had us go down to his car in the parkade afterward because he “forgot something” in it.

It was all a complete scam.

I came back up, and Richard (the Starbucks decoy) said “hey, lets go into the boardroom and hammer out that storyboard.” Off we go, and I walked into a room full of people and balloons and Neil.

There was wine, and cheese, and presents, and a plastic tiara with a toilet-paper veil on it.

And how well do these people pay attention? They gifted us with the Cuisinart Grind ‘n’ Brew Thermal 10-Cup Automatic Maker, a bunch of different coffees, and some Tazo Refresh and organic Chai teas (my go-to hot drinks when the caffeine jitters are finally too overwhelming).

Yah, I work with a pretty kickass group of people.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Happy.

I kept telling myself that I didn’t want to get to this place, but it has happened. I am completely, totally and utterly obsessed with my wedding. I swore I would not be one of those brides who took any moment, any conversation and related anything and everything back to her upcoming celebration. I would maintain other interests, I would talk about other things. I would think other thoughts.

Bullshit.

I am consumed.

And it feels so good to just let go and be that person.

As I see things coming together, as all the pieces start to fall into place, I can’t help but get more and more excited. Trying to shove it all down inside was making me cranky – so I have decided to just go ahead and let myself be that excited, obsessed, unapologetic bride-to-be.

So I hope you’ll forgive me if I have very little else to blog about for the next couple weeks (ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!!1111 – only 14 sleeps until we leave, 16 until I’m a missus).

Anyhow, I figured I’d give an update on the list of wedding to-do’s from a few weeks ago when I was driving myself mad with a few things that were overdue.

I’m quite pleased to say that particular list is almost entirely complete!

We still need to finish writing our ceremony & vows, pick up a couple small travel-related things and rent a car in Spain, but that’s about it as far as those things were concerned.

Of course, more items are still pending – we’re not nearly finished everything yet.

We also still need to:

Finish writing our ceremony & vows (we really need to get this done in the next couple days!)
Pick up our travel package from the travel agent (set for this weekend)
Buy gifts for our attendants (I at least know what I plan on getting – Neil has no idea)
Finalize the rehearsal & dinner (another one delegated to the Groom)
Chase down the few people who haven’t sent in their response cards
Figure out our seating plan
Recruit a Master of Ceremonies (we have a guest in mind – still have to ask him)
Put together a playlist of music for the band to turn on between sets

And there are a few other things I’m leaving out (because they’re surprises!) or just forgetting at the moment.

Now, though, everyone is starting to ask me “aren’t you nervous?”

Nervous about what?

I’ll admit I’m a bit anxious about how the whole day is going to unfold; how is my vision actually going to make it through the execution phase. The only thing that bugs me a bit (and probably what fuels most of the “you must do these expensive things to have a perfect day, or else…” mentality of the wedding industry) is that I don’t get a do-over.

Part of what I love about running major events for work is that each one is a learning experience, and they keep getting better and better. For the wedding, I don’t get a “next time.” It puts the pressure on for sure, and I’d by lying if I said I won’t rehash every little thing that didn’t go perfectly or could’ve been done better with hindsight.

But nervous about actually being married? Hah. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. And frankly, I’d be more nervous if I wasn’t

Darren asked an interesting question in the comments of my last ranting entry (for the record, I feel better now that it’s out of my system):

Hey, I have a related wedding question. Julie’s going to be a bridesmaid this summer, and so she has to obtain a dress. The bride is mostly handling this, but I was shocked to learn that the dress store requires Julie’s size details more than seven months before the wedding.

Seven months? Why such a ridiculously long lead time? One theory I had was that it’s totally artificial. They want you to order your wedding dress and bridesmaids’ dresses really early in the wedding planning process, when you have more money to spend. What do you think?

There is actually a reason behind all this (or at least this is the one I’ve been given). It just further highlights the insanity of the wedding machine:

Dress manufacturers (because the stores are really just resellers for a whole gaggle of designers) wait until they have a certain number of orders for any given dress in order to produce it. Then they obtain a gigantic swath of fabric, set their machines to “Dress A” and create eleventy-frillion copies of Dress A in the sizes and colours that have been ordered. Then they do Dress B, and so on.

This is extremely financially beneficial for the dress manufacturers (though I suspect that any savings are definitely *not* being passed down to the purchasers) and does have the added, sensible bonus of having any matching dresses (hello, bridesmaids!) come from the same fabric dyelot, so they do truly match.

By the time enough orders are collected and dresses are made, then shipped, it’s usually many months later (for example – I ordered my dress in September-ish and it showed up at the store in early January). I believe the latest one can order a dress is 3 months before an event, and then there is usually a hefty “rush” fee.

Once the dress arrives, the wearer of the dress needs to go to the store to make sure the correct dress arrived and that there are no major flaws – if there are, at least there are a couple months to rectify the issue.

Orders are often botched, because dress stores are completely paranoid about “Dress Piracy.” The stores cut all identifying tags and markers out of all their dresses, and assign their own style numbers as a reference. That way, unless you spend hours pouring over the internet and/or bridal magazines, you can’t simply say “Oh, this is Alfred Angelo dress A612″ and start “shopping around” or worse, have an independent seamstress copy the design for you. This is also why nobody lets you take pictures in bridal salons (until after your dress is purchased).

This is also why you must make an appointment to try on dresses. Because a) you can’t order one without a gatekeeper between you and the cryptic labeling system and b) you must be watched to ensure you’re not being devious!

Yes it is entirely stupid, because I have had no trouble finding any of the dresses I tried on and was interested in on the internet, including the one I purchased. And I took plenty of cameraphone pictures alone in the dressing room. Also, I have not met any seamstress or tailor worth his or her salt who will just blatantly copy a dress design. There are some professional ethics and integrity at play.

(Note: I have been to one store – Frocks – who let you take pictures to your heart’s content and keep the designer’s names and styles apparent – but this great little store is the only area vendor for most of these designers who don’t sell direct – and the dress designers manufacture the same way, with large batches, so you still need to order well in advance).

Anyhow, if the store didn’t botch the order, and the dress arrived intact, it’s now time for fittings! Because the dresses are made on a template that increases and decreases universally with the ordered size, and are all made to fit someone quite tall, it’s pretty much a given that one will need to have their dress hemmed at the very least, and usually let out/taken in at some points as well – since few women are perfectly proportionate top and bottom.

So on with said fittings! And as I mentioned, bridal salons generally have very strict times when they will do fittings (as referenced in my previous post). Kindof like cell phone companies, the best times, perks, etc. are reserved for those whose money the company doesn’t yet have their fists firmly on.

Go in, be pinned up, wait a few weeks while the seamstresses do the necessary work, go in and try it on again to be sure, then finally get your dress!

There you have it. The gigantic, Fordist machine build upon the fragile psyches of women who’ve had it beaten into their brains that they must look like princesses accompanied by a troop of Barbie Dolls on their special day.

That’s it. I fucking hate weddings. Everything to do with weddings.

I told Neil the other night that I don’t want to get married any more, because I don’t feel good about it. I feel like a miserable hag who has no time to be awesome after dealing with shitstorms at just about every angle.

This of course is not true – I definitely want to marry that man – I’d just rather elope at this point.

Apparently, when one is getting married, she is expected to put her life on hold to execute it. And I do emphasize “she.” Neil has a bunch of wedding-related things on his plate as well, but everyone seems to want to talk to me. Or they keep asking me if I’ve “checked up on him” with little disapproving “tut tut” noises. As if I’m partnering myself with a four-year-old who needs to be reminded to brush his teeth, and then examined for tooth cleanliness as well as breath, because he may have just smeared his tongue with toothpaste instead of actually brushing.

For the record, we check in on each other. We both have a shit-ton of responsibilities (both wedding-related and non-) that need to be met in order to keep our lives running.

Anyhow, I digress….

Putting one’s life on hold to plan a wedding is the most ridiculous fucking idea I’ve ever heard. It’s not a fucking coronation, it’s a goddamn dinner party. The end. Considering that for work I can plan half-a-dozen major events with 6-figure budgets at once, a girl should be able to plan one measly 5-figure wedding and still have time for reasonable amounts of work, play and sleep. Not so much.

I’m just so pissed off at this point in the myriad ways I’ve been jerked around and how a bunch of things are self-destructing, that I need to vent for a bit (apologies to those whose RSS reader just exploded – for the rest of you, rambling ranting vent below the cut)…

(more…)

Happy Valentine’s day to all of you, from all of us at Chez Watercooler! And from us to you, some chocolate, getting dirty, courtesy of our friends at AdHack (if I’m not eating much chocolate these days – because there is NO room for me to get any bigger and still fit into my wedding dress – I can at least enjoy some dirty thoughts about it):

I’ve been nutty busy with nothing very bloggable these days (work, gym and strata stuff mostly) and crossing things off the wedding to-do list whenever I have some spare time (the last list has been updated, for those who are curious about progress).

So in the spirit of relaxing and reconnecting, Neil and I are going to take some time tonight to just chill out together and take a first crack at both creating a bit of an inspiration board for the new design of our living/dining room and writing our wedding vows. Our shower last weekend was wine themed, so we’ll probably enjoy our fair share of libations during the process.

Are any of you planning on doing something special with your loved ones (or just yourself) today?

**UPDATE** February 14/08 – many things crossed off, invitations sent. This thing may just happen the way it’s supposed to after all!

According to the calendar (and all the wedding-based emails I’ve signed up for over the past year), there are screaming notices everywhere that this past weekend I just cruised through the 8 weeks before the wedding mark.

I’ve been so busy that I’m not particularly ready to acknowledge this, so instead of doing anything about it, I will instead present a list of things that I’m completely in denial about, instead preferring to tell myself that “I still have oodles of time for this:”

– Starting the process of fittings for my dress
– Buying underwear for said dress
– Finding jewelery to go with that dress A friend lent me a lovely necklace (something borrowed!), so now I just need earrings
– Picking out a tuxedo to match aforementioned dress Delegated to Neil. Notch Collared 2 or 3 button jacket, flat front pants, Red or Pewter vest for him (definitely red for his best man), no paisley. I think he can handle it.
– Having my veil made out of fabric from my mom’s old veil
– Getting a marriage license Delegated to Neil – God help him if this doesn’t happen!
– Booking enough accommodation for Neil & myself pre-wedding
– Writing our ceremony/vows
– Selecting wine pairings for the reception dinner
– Developing program content
– Finding and reserving rentals for things like table numbers, chair covers, etc.
– Putting together our guest book Mostly done, I just need a couple more pieces
– Confirming anything with the Florist
– Procuring thank-you cards (our shower is next weekend, so oodles of time really doesn’t apply for this one) Card were bought, shower was lovely, cards have been sent!
– Arranging babysitting for any kids at the wedding
– Figuring out how exactly Neil and I are going to get to and from the wedding
– Figuring out a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner schedule and venue Delegated to Neil
– Shopping at all for things we need for the honeymoon (we won’t have any time between it and the wedding)
– Booking transportation between Marrakech and Malaga, and a car while in Spain

And I’m sure there’s more, but I’m getting depressed thinking about it all. What I really want is a nap.

This is supposed to be an exciting time – and it is, I’m thrilled and having a lot of fun with everything, but I’m seriously suffering from a huge dose of procrastination.

If I never make a decision on any of these things, nothing can go wrong with them, right? (yes, I am fully and completely aware of what a load of bullshit that is.)

In the meantime, anyone want to go buy some Thank You cards for me? Or tell me where to find some pretty ones?

One of my favourite features of the Nike+iPod setup is the Powersong.

It’s a simple concept – pick a song that pumps you up, gets you going, gets the mojo flowing, renews your energy. Program that song into your iPod nano as your Powersong. When you’re lagging and need a boost, you hold down the nano’s centre-button for a few seconds, and whatever song was playing is paused while your Powersong comes on. Once the Powersong is over, you go back to your regular workout playlist.

Also, a fun community feature that’s tied in to it is iTunes collects the Powersong data from all Nike+iPod users, and keeps a list of the 10 most popular Powersongs. It’s a pretty typical list as far as such things go: Iconic Rock Anthems and high energy dance music (The top 5 right now are Eye of the Tiger, Pump It, Thunderstruck, Sexy Back and Lose Yourself).

And this past week I’ve taken the concept of a Powersong to a whole new level. I’ve been so.

completely.

exhausted.

for about 6 weeks now.

Packing, moving, wedding, running, training, working.

And none of them are really as simple as those single words. Buying a house and the associated paperwork and organization, planning a destination wedding, planning a 3 week (backpacking, we’ve decided) trip (including making plans for things that need to happen while we’re away and immediately after we return), finding an extra hour every day for the running and training, the pain and exhaustion as my body gets used to having my ass kicked 5 days a week, and increased duties and responsibilities at work because things are getting busier and I’m also wicked awesome at what I do (yay for career development).

All of which I love. But seriously – stop this crazy ride for a moment, wouldja?

Since my demands (see above) for the world to pause on its axis just long enough for me to catch my breath seem to be going unheeded for the time being, I’ve decided my headphones to tune out as much of the crazy as possible – and a good powersong – are going to have to be enough to keep me going for the next couple months.

When I need to clear my head at work. When I need something to sing along to in the car. When I have more appointments in my calendar than hours in the day. When I’m surrounded by my nearly exploding homeowner’s manual, dirty dishes, mounds of laundry in various stages of clean and would rather ignore it all and dance. I grab my iPod, turn on my Powersong, and forget about it all for 3.5 minutes.

Right now I’m alternating between two tracks:

Flying – The Secret Machines (Originally by the Beatles, found on the Across the Universe soundtrack)
Piece of Me – Britney Spears (don’t judge)

So what about you? How do you keep your sanity when you’re crazy busy? What’s your powersong?

I was out for dinner with a group of girlfriends last week. Of the six of us, four are married and two are engaged and getting married in March (including yours truly).

So, as the conversation often does these days, talk turned to weddings – specifically dresses.

Through the process, I haven’t been particularly sentimental about my dress. The things that have always mattered to me are photos, food and music – in that order. Everything else is either gravy, or something I’ve told myself is required to make the other things as perfect as possible. And since (in my mind) beautiful wedding photos include a beautiful bride in a beautiful wedding dress, the dress is not unimportant.

But I’m still not sentimental about it. It’s an outfit for one day – but what then? I always figured that as soon as my wedding dress is back from the cleaners, it’s ebay all the way. Or consignment. Or charity. Or anything but a big bag in the back of the closet or a box under the bed.

A big chunk of our dinner conversation that night though, was sharing stories of trying on our mom’s wedding dresses. We all did it. We all couldn’t believe people wore things so awful (our moms got married in the 70’s). We all couldn’t believe our moms were so tiny, because these dresses were a bit big when we were 12, almost perfect in our teen years, and we wouldn’t have a hope in hell of fitting into them now (which is probably for the best, considering the aforementioned fugly factor).

All of the ladies I was out with that night (with the exception of the other betrothed, obviously) have kept their dresses. The dresses aren’t the puffy princessy traditional tafetta monstrosities that pepper the bridal runways and magazines. And I don’t think of any of the women as particularly traditional, mushy or sentimental (and I don’t think they really think of themselves that way about most things) – but they all agreed that they have really strong affections toward their dresses and wouldn’t dream of getting rid of them. The other bride-to-be at the table agreed with that point of view, already thinking about where to store her dress post-ceremony.

In fact, if I really think about it, I have friends who have bought wedding gowns for weddings that didn’t even happen, and are still sentimentally attached to and have the dresses (and wear them every once in a while for kicks).

Try as I might though, I can’t really bring myself to feel like I’ll miss my dress if it goes.

My biggest pull for keeping it now is the thought that I could be robbing my future potential, hypothetical daughter of having the same conversation with her friends about trying on her mom’s wedding dress.

So what about all y’all? Did you ever try on your mom’s wedding dress? If you’re married, did you have a firm vision of what you wanted to do with your dress afterward? Did you do it? Are you not yet married (or even thinking about it) and still have visions of the perfect nuptial frock and its fate? Do you know what your wife did with her dress? Do you hold any superstitions around getting rid of a wedding dress? Whaddya think?

I thought about making some sort of personal resolutions this year, but 2008 is shaping up to be a year of so much activity, growth and change already I think I’ll just give myself a big pat on the back for making it through.

It starts off with becoming a first-time homeowner, complete with list of DIY projects to get started on, and we don’t even move in for a few more days. Then comes the actual DIY work, design and AV plans and the execution thereof.

Smack-dab in the middle of those, there’s that whole wedding thing coming up. It’s slowly starting to hit me that there are about eleventy-frillion little details to get all squared away within the next 90-ish days. Fitting into my dress is enough motivation to keep me on the running plan for the next little while. As for those details, I am currently distracting myself by agonizing over shoes: Manolo Blahnik or Christian Louboutin… the Spring Manolos have absolutely perfect styling for my dress, but those damn red soles on the Louboutin are like a siren song in shoe form…

2008 will also be a big travel year again, with definite trips to Tofino (twice), Morocco, Spain, Orlando (twice) and Las Vegas (twice), with probable jaunts to San Fransisco, Denver, Boston, Atlanta, DC and Barcelona. Don’t get too jealous, only three of those destinations are personal trips. I’m sure Neil, in addition to one “man-time” camping trip, will also have his share of trips to the exotic wilds of Columbus and maybe Oxford.

In between all those I also want to make sure I manage to balance the crazy with time to both visit and entertain friends and family near and far, keep running and not lose time I’ve worked hard to find for things like playing the piano, learning how to make beautiful photos and just lazing about with a good book or two.

Realistically, the goals we have for getting our new place put together and the travel schedule coming up means that most of our time and finances are pretty well spoken for until late 2008, when it’ll practically be time to gear up for another holiday season where I can finally pause and wonder where the year went.

But there is one thing I felt I could certainly set some goals for and make the time to do better at over the next 12 months – this damn blog. It definitely stagnated over 2007, which I’m definitely not pleased with. So starting now, I’m going to take the step of engaging more with readers by replying to all comments, and try to drag some additional content out of myself to keep to a 3-4 post/week schedule.

And so, in the spirit of getting this thing start off right, and actually soliciting some comments to reply to… how are you this year so far, and do you think I should go with the Manolos or Louboutins?

Ring is back. Am happy again. Especially since night before last I had a fantastically vivid dream in which the jeweler had stolen my diamond and replaced it with Cubic Zirconium (he did not, I checked). Our wedding bands are completed and engraved and living safely in the jeweler’s vault.

I wanted to take a picture of them first, but Neil wants to keep them a complete surprise until the moment we put them on. Blame him for the lack of awesome macro test by our new camera.

I will share our engraving though – because I think it’s neat.

Neil’s ring has the number 284 stamped on the inside. Mine has 220. They represent the first occurring pair of friendly numbers.

Pythagoras considered 220 and 284 to be friendly (or amicable). He even wrote: “[A friend] is the other I, such as are 220 and 284″. Aristotle also used the notion of friendly numbers to characterize friendship (in his work “Ethics”). So what makes the numbers 220 and 284 so special? Their property is that each is equal to the sum of the other’s proper divisors. The proper divisors of 220 are 1, 2, 4, 5, 10, 11, 20, 22, 44, 55, and 110, and they sum up to 284; the proper divisors of 284 are 1, 2, 4, 71, and 142, and they sum up to 220.

The pair 220, 284 soon became a symbol of friendship. In the middle ages, 220 and 284 were used by a young man to express his love to his beloved. He would prepare two metal charms with the numbers 220 and 284 engraved on them. These were then put on chains to place around their necks.

We got the idea after reading Fermat’s Enigma, and thought it was way cooler than some random term of endearment, word of affection or each other’s name. And a great way to remind ourselves that above all we feel we’re marrying our very best friend. Our very nerdy very best friend.

The wedding is now in 3 months, 3 weeks and 1 day. Random factoid: that is 2 days shorter than the gestation period of a Pig. So if we found a sow in heat today and worked some pig-love-magic, we could have a piglet right about when we leave for our honeymoon. These are the things you learn when your fiancé grew up on a farm.

Neil also enjoys comparing the pregnancy, birth and childrearing of our human friends to those of various barnyard creatures. The men are usually amused. The women are usually not.

But I digress….

Wedding upcoming! There aren’t really any other fun planning updates. The big things are done, and the little things keep piling up – though I’m still not particularly worried about any of them.

Next up: shoes. I am currently in love with a pair of these (the Pigalle 70 if you look at Evening/Low) in the Fall 07 collection. Clearly someone needs to stop me.