One of the bigger challenges in the past months has been dealing with the wacky health (physical and mental) issues our damn dog’s been having. So it seems appropriate that I post a little reminder (also printed on the back of our wedding programs in 2008) that love, and dogs, are worth it.

Falling in love is like owning a dog
an epithalamion by Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

We are not here to mark the start of a relationship; we are here to recognize a bond that already exists. Neil and Jennifer have joined themselves together, and we have gathered so that they might bear witness before us of the oneness that has grown up between them. Here, they will affirm this oneness and this dedication formally and publicly, as they have already affirmed it to each other. As they now exist as one in their own eyes; so may they exist in yours.

This union has already occurred in the giving and receiving of their love and in the myriad ways in which they have entwined their lives together.

We are here to witness their statement of love and commitment. This is an act as ancient as the human race, and as new as each morning, for it speaks of the past and of the future, of the life of the individual and the existence of the community.

Marriage is a going forth, a giving up of one way in search of a greater fulfillment than either can achieve alone, risking what they are for what they might be.

Neil and Jennifer come now to declare their love and solemnize their commitment. Today we celebrate their faith in the continuance of that growth as they come to be united in marriage.

MaryAnn and Norman, Jill and Chris: Jennifer and Neil come out of your family circles. They are living expressions of your love; they have been nurtured in your affections and guided by your personal counsel.

It is now their desire to broaden their family circles, maintaining the heritage with which you have provided them. They will explore new directions, but keep also the tried and tested lessons of their earlier years.

As you have brought Jennifer and Neil thus far in life, they ask for your affectionate blessings upon them, for the future they have chosen. Do you give this blessing? (They Do.)

Neil and Jennifer, you have carefully considered the beauty of the obligations assumed when lives are wed. Are you now prepared to enter into this covenant of love, marriage? (We are.)

In the journey of marriage, the little things are the big things; like having the capacity to forgive and forget; not taking the other for granted and doing things for each other, not out of a sense of duty but in a spirit of joy and happiness. Above all else, the true art of marriage is not only in marrying the right partner it is being the right partner.

For those of us blessed by a true partnership of love, we feel safe in the presence of our loved one. There is no need to hide any part of ourselves for fear of being judged or rejected. We can just be together from moment to moment, fully recognizing that by freeing one another to be truly who they are, we are loving each other more.

A true spiritual marriage is a journey of transformation. In marriage, we do not give ourselves to another, but rather surrender into something greater while maintaining our well-being as individuals. A truly sacred marriage union is a vehicle that allows us to know our true selves by reflection through our loved one.

Neil, do you take Jennifer to be your wife, through all of the days of your life, to love her and to cherish her, to help her and to honour her, and to give her understanding and comfort in whatever the future may bring in confidence that together you are responsible for your destiny? (He does.)

Jennifer, do you take Neil to be your husband, through all of the days of your life, to love him and to cherish him, to help him and to honour him, and to give him understanding and comfort in whatever the future may bring in confidence that together you are responsible for your destiny? (I do.)

I, Neil, take you, Jennifer, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.

I, Jennifer, take you, Neil, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.

The circle of the ring speaks of love freely given: it has no beginning and it has no end. The circle of the ring declares the unity and the oneness of your two lives, which shall contain your devotion beyond every journey, that you may always return again to your togetherness.

(Neil) I offer this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

(Jennifer) I offer this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

May we who are here present, hold the inspiration of this hour alive in our hearts and memories, as Neil and Jennifer will hold it as a symbol of their love and commitment.

Through your statements of common spirit and commitment, and the exchange of rings, you have done what in truth neither province nor church can do: you have joined yourselves in a shared destiny.

For as much as Neil and Jennifer have consented together in marriage, declaring their love for each other, I, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the province of British Columbia, hereby pronounce you, Neil and Jennifer to be husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

And as I am so very privileged to bring you together in marriage today, I have a wish for both of you. My wish is that many, many years from now you are able to look back on your life together – pleased, satisfied, and fulfilled – and that you are able to look at one another and say: “Because of you, I have lived the life I’ve always wanted to live – because of you, I have become the person I always longed to be.”

We used to hang out on a bunch of sand dunes (or so we called them) near our respective houses. A bunch of sand had been dumped on a piece of swampy-ish land to compress the soil before building an ice rink on it.

We just thought the dunes were great for leaping off of.

Then, one day, we were sitting on top of one dune, chatting about whatever it is that 11-year-olds chat about, and Ben leaned over and kissed me. Full on the lips.

So I pushed him.

He wasn't hurt badly, but he did cry. I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm still not sure why I did it – it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

I found out years later that Ben is gay. I'm sure the first girl he kissed pushing him off a sand-dune didn't have anything to do with that though.

Right?

Hooray! Neil’s finally home!

At least we don’t IM eachother from here.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous or edgy at all on our wedding day. I’d planned myself into a corner – the months of both self- and vendor-inspired angst had finally rolled themselves up into a neat little ball of an event that was just going to happen – and there was really nothing left for me to do.

Nothing, that is, except socialize with the flock of family and friends that had descended on the venue. I was sort of deluding myself into thinking that I would get some alone time and wouldn’t mind being the total centre of attention. I tried turning conversations to other people’s lives – no dice. So after the eleventy-frillionth time I was asked “how do you feel? are you nervous?” and with no last-minute details to distract myself with, I was a complete basket case.

Thankfully that didn’t manifest into more than an uncontrollable lip-quiver during the beginning of the ceremony. Neil was having just as hard a time holding it together as I was – but we both made it through like the rockstars we are!

We had a few people ask about the ceremony and vows we put together – when I get around to turning on the other computer, I’ll post a link to a .pdf with the ceremony text in it.

Of course the ceremony seemed to flash by in an instant, then it was off for photos. I heard the canapes and cocktails were good, but we were too busy being swarmed and shutterbugged and exclaiming “holy crap, we’re married!” to enjoy them.

And on to the party!

And when I posted the day after the wedding that it was the best party we’d ever thrown, it wasn’t an exaggeration. Everyone seemed to have a great time, multiple guests made a point of gushing about how our wedding was the best they’ve ever attended. The most rewarding bit from a bridezilla perspective was that every detail we’d thought of – from food to drinks, to decor, to the fact that we had babysitters, to the favours, the surprise outfit changes and just the mood of the evening – someone made a point of thanking us for, or just commented on how clever, unique and awesome we are.

Even the band emailed the next day to thank us for throwing such a great party where they really enjoyed the chance to jam and rock out (apparently not usually the case at weddings). And while everyone loved the fireworks finale, I think the pyrotechnician was most excited of all about the show he managed to put on (the guy was literally bouncing up and down shouting “did you see that? It was AWESOME!”

We left shortly after the fireworks, but apparently everyone else continued to party well into the night. Neil’s brother managed to find himself in a hottub fully clothed, and one of my brothers passed out under a bush.

I think that means we can officially call it a success.

If you’d like to view the photos, visit www.blueolivephotography.com/jen&neil. Slideshows are a nice sampling of the event. The full 800+ photo online gallery is password protected. The password is the name of the small town we were married in (lower-case). If you don’t know, comment and ask!

Morocco is a hard country to visit as a tourist. Totally worth it, but definitely more difficult than any trip I’ve taken before. I’ll get more into that in a post once we’re home.

Anyhow, just as we finally thought we’d at least figured out Marrakech and the Djeema El Fna, Morocco gave us one final fuck you.

Food poisoning.

That set in on the train at about 4:30am of the 12th of April and didn’t cease for the rest of the train ride to Tangier, or the trans-Mediterranean ferry to Algeciras, or the car ride into the Ronda Mountains to Gaucin, or indeed the rest of the day. And night.

Today, the 14th of April at lunch was our first real meal since the nefarious foodstuffs (not willing to try anything riskier than plain bread and weak tea). Needless to say, our simple homemade pasta primavera and salad (with all fresh, local produce, thankyouverymuch) was the best meal we’ve ever tasted.

In that fateful 36 hours, we’ve thrown up and pooped more times than I can count, in three kinds of transportation, across two continents. We have shared the kind of embarrassing bodily-function moments that guarantee we can never split up now for fear of the secrets getting out.

If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything!

Right?

I’m currently hanging out in bed at the Fairmont YVR, drinking coffee and slowly waking up before breakfast. Our flight leaves at 15:10.

For the wedding, the weather turned around completely and we had beautiful sunshine as the perfect backdrop to a really lovely ceremony.

And the reception was definitely the most fun party we’ve ever thrown.

For pictures, stalk the Blue Olive site. I’m sure many of my flickr contacts will also be posting photos (we totally felt like celebrities with paparazzi all night).

And now I’m going to go get ready to fly away with my husband (and try to get more used to the words husband and wife).

In the meantime, check out my flickr page for honeymoon updates, and see ya when we’re home!

I’ve been nutty busy with nothing very bloggable these days (work, gym and strata stuff mostly) and crossing things off the wedding to-do list whenever I have some spare time (the last list has been updated, for those who are curious about progress).

So in the spirit of relaxing and reconnecting, Neil and I are going to take some time tonight to just chill out together and take a first crack at both creating a bit of an inspiration board for the new design of our living/dining room and writing our wedding vows. Our shower last weekend was wine themed, so we’ll probably enjoy our fair share of libations during the process.

Are any of you planning on doing something special with your loved ones (or just yourself) today?

Remember that bonus I mentioned receiving (along with the aerodynamic socks) after coming back from Trade Show Hell? I have finally decided what to do with it. The KitchenAid Artisan Stand Mixer. The Cadillac of small appliances. I’m venturing out to the burbs to pick it up tonight! I can already smell the Christmas Baking.

I have finally started exercising again. It’s still too damn cold for running, but I have managed to get up off my arse and actually work out a few times this week. It hurts. Mostly in a good way. But definitely for the best, considering the aforementioned point.

Doing good, with your help! Send me an email naming a charity you’d like me to donate to this holiday season. I’ve already gotten a few emails, but am certainly excited to get more. Even if you’re pretty sure I already have your address – drop me a line anyway with a shoutout for the cause near and dear to you.

Neil’s coming home tomorrow! The worst parts about his absence have been:
a) the fact that I’m currently not getting coffee in the mornings (at least not until I make it to Starbucks, which requires being dressed and presentable), and
b) it’s far too stuffy to sleep in our apartment at night with the windows closed, which means that when I wake up in the mornings, it’s up to me to leap out of bed and attempt to dash to the other end of the apartment to close the windows, turn on the fireplace, turn on the heat in the livingroom, turn on the heat in the bedroom and dive back under the covers for 20 minutes to warm up. All hopefully without tripping over the dog or myself (not an easy feat at 6:00am pre-caffeine!).

Along with my mind (which thankfully has returned) I seemed to have lost my social life after disappearing for a month for work travel. Now that holiday parties are in full-swing and I don’t have to keep turning down invites for being out of town, I can feel that slowly starting to change.

We’re only 3 sleeps away from getting the first glimpse of the inside of our new place! Hopefully will be able to move forward with a closing date shortly after that. We’ve already given notice to our landlord. It’s finally really happening!

Aah. Better. Now I can get back to my curmudgeonly self.

Got any love you need to purge? Drop it in the comments, post on your own blog, and go tell Meg!

One year and six days ago one of my best friends told me that my Ridiculously High Standards had inspired a single male acquaintance of hers to inquire about a date with me.

One year and two days ago I got an email in my inbox containing the following:

I’ve been reading your blog for a while — Chris might have mentioned
it at work once, and it has a memorable URL that makes me giggle, so
I kept typing it in. I always enjoy reading your posts, but the ones
that make me laugh the longest and hardest are the ones about your
disastrous dates. I love them! I love the detail, and the
storytelling is spot on.

So anyway, the whole RHS topic made me think: I wouldn’t stand a
*chance* with you! I’m awful to date. Then I started laughing,
because at least I’d be able to read about it and laugh at how awful
it was from *your* point of view….

Well. There we are. I phoned her tonight to ask how to contact you,
and she gave me this email address. Perhaps you’d like to phone me,
and we can arrange a blog post of our own?

One year ago tomorrow I went on my last date. I had no idea it would be the last one at the time. I only agreed to go on the pre-vacation date at all, because I figured it would NEVER work out, and would at least give me a bit more blog content before I left on a jet plane (which I never actually did write about – ironic, non?). How firmly convinced was I that nothing would come of the date? I didn’t even wax my eyebrows. There’s a picture hanging in our bedroom taken the day after that date reminding me of such, with my horrible eyebrow stubble.

And now, one year from today, we’ll be husband and wife. How cool is that?

Happy Anniversary Baby – I love you like mad, and can’t imagine life any other way.