If we’re friends on Facebook, you may recall me mentioning about a month ago that we think we’re having a boy.
I say “think” because the ultrasound tech wouldn’t tell us. The Vancouver-Coastal health authority has a policy that they do not tell expectant parents the sex of their fetus until 20+ weeks of gestation. Our ultrasound was booked for 19w5d.
I’m going to allow space for a couple small rants here:
Seriously? Seriously. Two days. You think if I were the kind of person who was likely to opt for selective elimination of a fetus with a sex I wasn’t happy with, two days would make a difference? Comeon VCH, let’s grab some common sense here. I know you need to draw a line in the sand, but why can’t my midwives even call two days later to get the gender results? You suck.
Also, midwives. Seriously? You have been in business how long and you do not know about the “sex only revealed after 20 weeks” rule? And that no, you don’t get to book another ultrasound just to have the sex shown because you weren’t smart enough to book it for post 20-weeks in the first place? I sincerely hope (especially in my 3am-wide-awake-to-panic moments) that your skills at labour-coaching and baby-catching are FAR SUPERIOR to your skills in medical administration and procedure.
Anyhow. Thanks to that little administrative hiccup, we are left with the option whether or not to find out our damn selves which flavour of tiny human we’ll be responsible for come March.
And I can’t decide whether or not to do it.
I was definitely excited to know before the magical “20-week” ultrasound, and feel a little disappointed that we don’t know for sure. My conflict comes with WHY I want to know.
It’s not the money (we can afford a private ultrasound), or the names (we have preferred names for boys and girls picked out).
It all comes down to the shopping.
I hate to think that I’m going to fall victim to subjecting my offspring to society’s current gender constructs of “pink is for girls and blue is for boys,” etc.
But the reality is, the gender-neutral stuff I’ve found is just nowhere near as aesthetically pleasing (or downright adorable) as the “boy” and “girl” things.
I really don’t give a damn whether my boy plays with dolls or my girl plays with trucks or any of that. And it’s not like we’d go painting the nursery with unicorns and butterflies vs. monster trucks and spaceships (we’re not painting at all. Beige is FINE).
It’s just that everything I see that looks interesting to me seems to fall under the headings of “baby boy things” vs. “baby girl things.”
And I just hate to think that’s the only reason I’d be finding out.
I do also just like the idea of knowing more about the little person-to-be currently occupying the majority of my abdominal cavity. Knowing whether he or she is a he or she (assuming normal gender assignment, etc.) makes it feel a little more humanizing. A little less alien. And a little more like I’ve been “wined and dined” before being taken advantage of for lo these nine long months.
But mostly, the shopping.
So tell me internets, what would (or did) you do?