On Hold

So here’s the thing. I’m sick.

I’m one of the lucky people with whom pregnancy does NOT agree, and as a result, I am miserable. I am only half-joking when I say if I’d known it was going to be this bad, I’d have gone for a ready-made instead of bake-your-own.

Everyone I’ve encountered in the medical establishment seems to think this is charming. I want to punch them all in the face. Except the ones who prescribe the anti-nausea drugs. They can stay. I love them long time.

I know nobody wants to hear about the mood swings, or the exhaustion, or the nausea, or the hurling, or the pooping (or more specifically, the lack thereof).

But in the 12 hours a day I manage to stay awake (I suppose it could be longer, but honestly, I am so sick of being sick that I sleep a lot to escape the symptoms) that is pretty much all that’s going on.

So unless I win the lottery or spaceships land on my roof or my dog suddenly learns to talk, consider this blog on hold.

Go, look at the kittens, I will hopefully be back and feeling much better in a few weeks.

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9 thoughts on “On Hold

  1. Nicole

    Ugh… that sucks. I understand. I spent the better part of three months on my couch, unable to move. Couldn’t work. Couldn’t walk the dog. Couldn’t even muster up the energy/lack-of-nausea to concentrate on a TV show, so most of that time was spent wallowing in a state of grossness in silence. And, it came with guilt. At least for me, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just push through it… why was pregnancy able to kick my ass so hard? Anyway, at one point my midwife (as I sat slumped in her office – the farthest I’d been from my couch in weeks, having put in a heroic effort just to get there) shrugged my complaints off and said “in a few weeks, you’ll forget you ever felt like this”. All I heard was “a few weeks” and thought “I will not survive this for a few more weeks”. Anyway, obvious end to the story is that she was right – it did pass. I distinctly remember lying in bed one night and saying to Michael “Oh my god! I don’t feel sick!”. It came back 10 minutes later. But, eventually, I felt good more often then I felt bad, until I felt good all the time. So, with that super long comment, what I mean to say is that, I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it will pass, and you will be okay 🙂

  2. Theresa

    Hyperemesis Gravidarum? I don’t know a lot about it, but my friend suffered from it through two pregnancies. Just thought I’d mention it, in case you hadn’t considered the diagnosis.

  3. Laura

    Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with it 🙁 The anti nausea meds should help!!

    Wanting to punch the ppl in the face who find your issues cute or charming is pretty normal. I had a strong reaction (which I was able to keep to myself) to my ultrasound tech who kept going “oooooooh so cute!” in a baby talk voice. I was steeling myself for her to say “ittle wittle baby”

  4. peechie Post author

    Lizsu: thanks!

    Nicole: I know exactly what you mean about feeling guilty about having my arse kicked like this. I’m really hoping that I’ve only got another couple weeks of awful left. I’d like to actually feel excited and like I might enjoy this whole baby-making process, instead of hateful and resentful about it.

    Theresa: technically “hyperemesis” refers to excessive vomiting, which I don’t have (the nausea itself is debilitating enough though!). But I have basically every other symptom of that particular disorder: nausea, depression, reduced ability to work, >10% weight loss, reduced quality of life, dehydration requiring hospitalization.

    Thankfully I’ve been really bullish about research and demanding increased drugs and treatment (the only approved drug, diclectin, doesn’t work for me) when my midwives and doctors have shrugged it off and told me to try some ginger tea (again, assholes). And even though I’m following the recommended treatment schedule from the hospital for sick children (motherisk.org) I have signed too many disclaimers to count for doctors and pharmacists, saying I won’t sue anyone if “something goes wrong” from the treatment. Which, of course, doesn’t help with the feelings of inadequacy, guilt and depression. Thankfully, Neil’s been doing an amazing job of taking in all the research with me, supports the treatment, and reassures me regularly that I’m not crazy and will be okay 🙂

    Laura: I hope you’re feeling better soon too! And I really can’t wait until someone touches my belly without asking. At this point it seems like it’ll feel very rewarding to unleash the preg-rage I’ve been keeping bottled-up!

  5. Crissy

    Jen! Oh my goodness, I just read the big news – congratulations to you & Neil!!!!!!

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re not feeling so swell … I hope it subsides before too long. Just keep your eye on the prize. 🙂

  6. joann TX

    CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND NEIL!!!!

    WHAT GREAT NEWS! THO I’M SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE
    HAVING A TOUGH TIME OF IT.

    WHEN IS YOUR DUE DATE?

    JOANN IN TX.

  7. Theresa

    Hey, I asked my friend, the one that experienced hyperemesis through two pregnancies, if she had any words of wisdom or helpful resources for you. Here is what she wrote…

    “I would say that she has hyperemesis even though she is correct in the technical definition of hyperemesis being unrelenting vomiting. The medicial definition however includes debilitating nausea. If she has lost greater 5% of her pre-pregnancy weight and requires rehydrations and has nutritional deficiencies, she has hyperemesis. I would recommend the website http://www.helpher.org – it’s dedicated to helping mothers with hyperemesis and gives treatment options. 

    I’d be happy to chat with her if she’s up to it. I think midwives are fabulous but honestly the midwives may not be up to speed on the latest treatments – even my GP was not and I had to go to a knowledgable OB to get proper treatment with my second pregnancy.” 

  8. Joanna

    Hi, I am the friend who Theresa referred to that had Hyperemesis. She sent along the link to your blog and I felt compelled to respond as I’ve been there in the throes of nausea and vomiting and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. You are right that hyperemesis is technically uncontrollable vomiting but actually the medical diagnosis includes debilitating nausea. If you have lost greater then 5% of your pre-pregnancy weight and have required rehydrations and have nutritional deficiencies, you have HG. I would highly recommend the website helpher.org – it’s dedicated to helping mothers and their loved ones go through HG and get the proper treatment. Diclectin (even up to 10 a day) did not help with my nausea (the only good thing was that it knocked me out a bit) but many health professionals see it as the only sanctioned pregnancy drug. Sure, it may work for some women with morning sickness but HG is not regular morning sickness! I think midwives are fabulous but honestly the midwives may not be up speed on the latest treatments – even my GP was not and I had to go to a knowledgable OB to get proper treatment with my second pregnancy. Ondansetron was the drug that worked for me for my second pregnancy when mixed with gravol, rantidine, and diclectin (combos of drugs seem to work better for alot of women with HG rather than just taking one drug on it’s own) If you need a recommendation for the a great OB I can pass along the info to my OB/GYN in Vancouver and if you feel up to chatting about HG, I’d be happy too. I hope you can get the medical treatment you need and that you’ll be feeling better soon.

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