One of the best stand-up comedy bits I’ve ever heard is an Irish comedian “complaining” about his girlfriend. She snores.
“Oh, but don’t I sound like a kitten, purring?”
“Aww. Bless. No. You sound like a cat, drownin’ in oatmeal!”
*cue sound effect of comedian making “cat drowning in oatmeal” noises*
Tanya snores. Ever so slightly. Much more on the “kitten purring” than the “cat in oatmeal” side. But it’s definitely snoring.
Don’t tell her I told you!