Post title yanked from the title of a monologue by Dr. Erica Hahn in a recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy that was on my TiVo. Sweet TiVo. My constant (and it feels like only) companion at the moment.
It’s true though. I really feel like I don’t make friends particularly easily, which really sucks when you feel like you need some.
Oh I do have some really special people in my life who fall under both friends and family who would be there in an instant if ever I really needed them.
And we certainly get invites to “important” parties held by friends and acquaintances (by “important” I mean holidays, birthdays, things of that ilk) and dinner parties, BBQ’s, etc.
The people I’m missing (and it’s really been a near-constant sore-point in my personal life) are the friendly acquaintances that you can hang out with, without having a reason. Other than say, it’s Wednesday, let’s sit down and have a glass of wine (tea, go for a walk, chat, whatever).
I mean, I guess I have a reason for wanting that right this moment: Neil’s out of town, I’ve run out of TiVo’d shows to watch and no matter how much I talk to her, the dog doesn’t talk back. Which makes it seem like I’m looking for last-resort companions, but believe me, if I could think of someone to call, the TiVo would’ve stayed full. And even when Neil is around, there are people we’d rather hang out with than eachother sometimes (both separately and as a couple).
I’m basically at a point where I’m bugged enough about the situation to stop deluding myself into thinking that it’s not a problem for me.
Not that I’m asking for a pity-party or play-dates (okay, maybe I am, just a little), but seriously, how do you transition past the point of being friendly with people when you happen to see them, to being friends with someone and comfortable enough to actually pick up the phone or email and say “hey, let’s
go ride bikes get together this week” without seeming weird?