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Posted in Home Sweet Home
Jan
Mon
14

The DIYers Prayer

peechie

Home Depot
Who art kinda far away out there in suburbia
Hallowed be a good parking spot

Thy customer service come
When the self-checkout machine throws a fit
With store pricing
Hopefully the same as on the internet

And give us this day that usually out of stock item
And forgive us our impatience
Because we’ve been waiting
By the key-cutting station for assistance
For seventeen minutes

And lead us not to the wrong side of the store
But deliver us to the shower-curtain rods

(which, incidentally, should logically be near shower and bath enclosures, not closet organizers)

For thine is a ridiculous sum of cash
So I can finally have some shelving

And a programmable thermostat

For ever and ever,
Amen.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 14th, 2008 at 9:54 am and is filed under Home Sweet Home. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “The DIYers Prayer”

  1. April Says:
    January 14th, 2008 at 11:01 am

    This is hilarious. You’ve got some talent in the prayer writing department.

    “And forgive us our impatience
    Because we’ve been waiting
    By the key-cutting station for assistance
    For seventeen minutes”

    Ain’t that the truth..there is never anyone at that station..ever.

  2. sdude Says:
    January 14th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    ugh, we redid the bathroom last fall and spent waaaay too much time at the Depot. I’m on a self-imposed exile from that place for, I dunno, a few more decades anyway. If you must go - the West Van one is nice.

  3. Jean Says:
    January 14th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Even more frustrating is getting the key cut, taking it home and discovering it doesn’t work!….sigh

  4. Karin Says:
    January 15th, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    LMAO…sending this to the BF.