My So-Called Life

Our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad, supportive faces, when, in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives.
~Paulo Coelho

It’s no secret to those who know me and care to ask that the whole job-hunt has me pretty miserable these days. I could say that I’m trying to harness the power of positive thinking and all that jazz, but in reality there are as many days that end with tears as those that end with smiles or just exhausted ambivalence.

Yet I still don’t feel compelled to blog about it.

About a year ago, you could hardly stop me from pouring out my misery online at being single and the horrible injustices I was suffering while attempting to find someone suitable to date. Or, if not suitable, at least not wanting to make me scoop my brains out with a spork to forget the encounter.

Then I found someone – and things were really steadily going up in my life. Great man, great job, great dog, great home. That lasted about a year – you’d think that wouldn’t be long enough to erase the cynicism, vitriol and spite in my wee, black heart when one of those ceased to exist in my world.

You’d be right. And still, I felt no compulsion to blog about it.

And I didn’t really understand why. Until now.

I attempted to throw a party last weekend. For all intents and purposes, most things about my social circle and the invite were the same. Early reports indicated it would be an even bigger success, since the location was far more desirable to potential party-goers. Last year, 90% of the people who RSVP’d “Yes” attended, plus a motley assortment of extras. This year, barely half the confirmed attendees bothered showing up.

What’s different?

This year I’m not nearly as interesting.

A year ago I was a dating blogging sensation, who had just entered into a relationship with a man who had his own fair share of scandal.

This year? We’re just another set of yuppies. For the most part, fortunate and exceedingly happy ones.

I could fill pages and pages with cutting testimony of my job-hunt frustrations and foibles.

But underneath it all lies a desire to keep these personal feelings for myself and those who have more than an idle curiosity about them.

I’d rather live quieter, knowing who my true friends are.

I’d rather be happy, than interesting.

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11 thoughts on “My So-Called Life

  1. Lara

    One thing I gotta tell you is that you are a great writer and I really enjoy your blog because of your wit and comedic outlook on life. Have you thought about writing a book? I know that would be a rather solitary activity but you definitely have a gift… Good luck with the job hunt.

  2. Mel

    I know it was a busy weekend for a lot of people…try not to take it too personally! Sorry we had to leave early; it was fun while it lasted though!

    I think you can be both happy and interesting, and write well about both – or not, if that’s what you choose. Your online audience might change or go away, but your friends won’t.

  3. Crissy

    If it makes you feel any better, I too tried to have a little soiree last weekend, and the turnout was somewhat disappointing.

    Everyone seemed to have plans! Seriously, I think it was just a busy, busy weekend …

    Don’t take it personally (that’s SO something I would do!!)

  4. NetChick

    Heya… I felt bad about changing my rsvp that day. Unfortunately, I was under the weather — I was very much looking forward to catching up with you guys.

    For the record: I think the fact that you live a decent life makes you a decent friend, and certainly an interesting one to talk to.

  5. Riann

    Had it been as busy as last year I would’ve had to leave. (Jostling makes me nervous) Mixed blessing I guess 😉

  6. Travis

    I also had a party, about two months ago, and the turn out was significantly smaller than I expected. I was fairly disappointed, but those I talked to later said the evening had been really fun. I kinda thought they were being polite.

    I came to your party just past, and let me tell you honestly: it was totally worth coming. Those who didn’t come, missed out.

    Reading this gave me an interesting insight: you were disappointed because the party wasn’t what you were expecting, but I came to your party not expecting anything, and was pleased at what I found. Mull that.

    BTW, say hi to Scott, Brook, Laura and girl-who-died-and-came-back for me!


  7. peechie Post author

    Thanks guys 🙂 I definitely had a good time with everyone who came, and don’t really mind those who had to change their plans.

    The post is more reflective about how I feel overall about the current state of my social situation. Clearly no good can come of sitting at home all day most days.

  8. Jill in CA

    Well I don’t know you IRL but I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. I, too, would rather be happy than interesting (though I certainly don’t write as well as you do so my blog has never been *that* interesting!) but I agree with the person who said it’s possible to be both. Best of luck with the job hunt!

  9. `jen

    i’m probably being obtuse, but i’m not sure what your writing has to do with jerk-offs that RSVP for a party and don’t show up (myself included). i also believe you’re much too bright (not to mention self-confident and fabulous) to take said party turnout personally…

    so, the real question is: what’s up? and why aren’t you writing about it? ; )

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