Paralyzer

Two loaves of homemade whole wheat bread (no, I don’t own a breadmaker).
One batch of brownies.
Two loaves of banana bread.
Two sparkling bathrooms.
One 90-minutes-of-prep/cooking Moroccan feast for two.
Countless loads of laundry.
Hours of happy dog walks.

Three-point-seven-five days of unemployment.

Five job openings sitting in open browser tabs, waiting for me to apply to them.

And I’m stuck.

I look at my resume and hate every line. I look over the umpteen cover letter formats and styles I use, and see everything but inspiration.

May I introduce to you my friends Rock and Hard-Place?

I am mostly miserable and hate being at home all day. But I also loathe submitting applcations for jobs.

I certainly don’t mind networking, have a sick love for interviewing, and can generally write circles around things – except when it comes to my own damn resumé. But then, my best work comes out when I’m excited about the subject matter. And instead of excited, I’m mostly annoyed, and more than a little intimidated.

I WILL NOT BE CONFINED TO TWO MEASLY PAGES!

Although I suppose I should save that particular rant for after I manage to get a single satisfying sentence down on paper.

So here I sit. Trying to devise things to do that are both satisfying, and a good way to procrastinate.

Baking and cleaning have, thus far, been completely unsatisfying. (I imagine that anything but some success in the job-hunt will have much the same result.)

But then, so has the application process.

And I seem to be fresh out of mojo.

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8 thoughts on “Paralyzer

  1. Darren

    I don’t really know if you’re looking for suggestions, or just ranting, but why not get somebody else’s help to write your resume. You’re obviously a talented writer, but maybe it’d help to get a second opinion on the material?

    I’d pay somebody who had some objectivity toward you (as opposed to a friend), so they’d do a kick-ass job.

  2. peechie Post author

    I have sent it around to a few friends who are great at these things. And I’ve discovered another problem (aside from objectivity)with friends and associates who will do it for free – it’s done on their time. And I am impatient.

    That, and I can’t seem to find a personal starting point for all the suggestions I have been given. I really just want someone else to do it at this point.

    Is there anyone you can recommend who’s got a good blend of reasonable rates (what do these things even typically go for?) and ass-kickin’ wording and formatting?

  3. Darren

    I sent you a recommendation. An hourly rate for a senior professional writer probably runs in the $50 to $75/hour range. Of course, something like a resume should only take them 2 or 3 hours. If it’s more than that, they’re too slow or trying to milk you for more cash.

  4. Derek K. Miller

    I’d suggest making your resume one page, not two. I hadn’t had one in years and then my employers wanted one for a strategy session with an outside consultant.

    Here’s a nice one-page resume template:

    http://www.manager-tools.com/podcasts/Sample_Resume.pdf

    And the podcast that inspired me to go with the one-page format:

    http://www.manager-tools.com/2005/10/your-resume-stinks/

    It allows no fluff, which means it’s invigorating to write, and less likely to drag you off track. Plus employers will be grateful for less crap to wade through.

  5. Carlos

    Derek,
    That has to be one of the fugly-iest sample resumes I have ever seen. One page? I guess it depends on the industry you are applying for. I can’t see how applying for a technical IT gig can be covered in one page when they want a vast series of experience and skill. Maybe that’s just my experience anyway.

    peechie,
    Here’s a blog with some good tips, although I don’t agree with her one-page-only resume rule.
    http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2005/09/12/5-most-violated-resume-writing-rules/

    See got a good set of resume blog posts too.
    http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/category/resumes/

    Have you got a mentor or someone within your industry that you’ve gotten to know? Maybe offering to buy lunch in exchange for a resume review may help.

  6. joann

    mine is two. been at the same type of job going on 27 yrs. two majors and two small companies, and a contract job thrown in, so i’ve not hopped around in the industry. i don’t see anything wrong w/two pages!
    🙂

  7. Sue

    When I was headhunting, I frequently ran across people with very well-written, well-presented three page resumes. I didn’t mind it one bit, because it showed they put effort into presenting their experience and skills so that I could appreciate all of what they had to offer.

    At this point in your career, even if you could fit everything onto one page I would advise against it. Recruiters and employers do not expect a mid-career communications professional to have such little experience that it all fits on one page. That’s more appropriate for high-school students. WAYY better to have two (or three) pages that are easy to read and include the types of skills and experience the employer is looking for.

  8. grant

    Hi Jen, I’d recommend no more than 2 pages. If you have the urge to go longer, first consider if that that low-level job you had 7 years ago REALLY adds to your appeal more than the most recent stuff.

    But apparently you have a professional resume writer now anyways so who cares what I say as i’m not being paid for it.

    Best of luck with it!

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