Oh my hell.
I love snowboarding, I really do – what I don’t love are the typical injuries that come along with it.
I know most snow sports are inherently dangerous, and to date I’ve still hurt myself far worse skiing than I ever have snowboarding.
But Sunday I took a tumble, and my poor coccyx (tailbone) took the brunt of the impact. It’s bruised and kinda swollen. And this is one of those times that being bootylicious is a liability, rather than an asset: every time the rest of my butt moves, the swollen tissue is forced to adapt, and vehemently expresses its displeasure at that fact.
Do you know how often your butt moves during the course of a day? I bet you never thought of it before, but think about what happens to all that fat and muscle between your lower back and upper thighs when you sit, stand, walk or shimmy. Did you know that the connective tissues around your coccyx move substantially when you contract your sphincter? Yah, neither did I, until Sunday afternoon.
So now, in spite of taking enough ibuprofin to choke a horse and being on a near constant Robax high, I present to you a (far from complete) list of things that still hurt like a sonofabitch:
-Sitting on anything (chair, car seat, bench, couch, toilet – go ahead and contemplate that last one for a second)
-Getting from sitting to standing and back again
-Lying on either side or my back
-Getting up from lying on my stomach (so far I can’t levitate my way to standing)
-Rolling over in bed
-Bending over to put on socks and shoes
And do you have any idea how many people bump into you while standing on the bus? I’ve already established that sitting on bus seats right now is somewhere approaching the 7th circle of hell – but standing isn’t much better. I get nailed from all angles, then have to make sudden movements to steady myself, or risk falling (again) on my ass. None of which are terribly comfortable.
And while the idea of heading up the mountain tonight is a complete write-off, I really hope that I’ve healed enough by next weekend, so I can go out and do it all over again.