Smell-0-Vision

As usually happens when you are seeing someone on a level that your schedule dictates whose house you’ll be sleeping at that night, the boy had a pile of dirty clothes at my place.

And since I was doing laundry anyway, I figured I’d toss his dirty clothes in with mine (cuz I’m just sweet like that – all those losers from before really are missing out!).

That’s when it happened.

I discovered his man-funk is actually strong enough to nullify the effects of laundry detergent!

See, he has this shirt that he runs in. It’s allegedly a technical fabric, and as those fabrics do, it dissipates the sweat and nastiness throughout the whole garment to keep you dry. Dry, and very very smelly. He’d gone running in the shirt 3 or 4 times before it made it into the laundry. You do the math.

Into the washing machine it went, then into the dryer.

As I was emptying the dryer, I pulled the shirt out, and with it wafted that familiar foul aura. I didn’t believe it at first, but a few cautious whifs (remember, his armpits can smell like feet people) later, it was confirmed.

The shirt STILL stank!

After a wash cycle with Tide with Febreeze, Lavendar Vanilla Fabric Softener, and two Outdoor Fresh dryer sheets, it still smelled exactly like man-funk.

After a 10 hour soaking with more detergent and some time to line dry, the funkiness has somewhat dissipated. Now it smells like detergent and chemicals. Not pleasant, just different.

If the man can do that to a simple shirt, if his odiferoius self is strong enough that laundry detergent is no match for his essence, I shudder to think of what I may have gotten myself into.

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8 thoughts on “Smell-0-Vision

  1. gillian

    This’ll probably sound like bragging given the content of your blog entry, but my bf smells like nothing. I swear, whenever he sleeps over, as soon as he’s left the bed, there’s no remaining scent. Not even a nice one, just nothing, like he was never there. I consider this further evidence that he has no soul.

  2. Mel

    Though I’m glad I wouldn’t describe Chris’ odour as “man-funk”, I sympathize somewhat on the smelly boyfriend issue. Thankfully, his isn’t anything my unscented laundry detergent & dryer sheets and a quick shower can’t handle.

    On a nerdier note, I’d like to compare Gill’s bf’s diet to that of Chris and Neil, and see if we can figure out the recipe 🙂

  3. Kyndra

    http://www.windetergent.com/

    I may not have as much funk, but I can sympathize with synthetic clothing hanging onto smells. It’s something about it, since the water wicks right off it, so do most soaps. It’s not ALL your man’s fault.

    But seriously, this shit works.

  4. Boy's Sister

    You know, I always wondered if my brother smelled more than most. (Just had to delurk to say that one!) When I was growing up I was convinced that all boys smelled like that. Lucky he won’t be doing laundry at MY house when you visit.

  5. sue

    The question is, did any of the man-funk transfer itself into YOUR laundry? That would be a true horror. It’s one thing to say “here’s your smelly shirt, darling” but another entirely to get dressed in the morning in your own clothes and walk out of the building smelling like HIS shirt. *shudder*

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