In manic preparation for the impending tropical vacation (10 Sleeps Away!), I’ve been going to my local fake ‘n’ bake to get a base tan.
While there, I noticed that my winter hibernation has left me with an ass that, while still fabulous clothed, is a bit more ample than it was over the summer and bears very slight resemblance in texture to an orange peel. Yes. The dreaded “C” word. No, not that one – that I’ll use. The other one. Cellulite.
Now I know some people are more prone to it than others. Even at my very tiniest, I’ve never had flawlessly firm skin. But it was a whole helluvalot less noticeable in August than it is now. And in somewhere around 264 hours, I plan on spending the majority of my days in a bikini.
So, what did I do immediately upon noticing this?