I’m referring more to the whole “reconsideration a month or so later” epidemic, when you both realize you’re both still alone, and think that maybe “it wasn’t so bad before….”

I dated Will for a few months back in college in an ill-fated relationship that ended in fiery fiery doom. Years later when we met up to catch up, we started dating again and now we’re engaged. In our case, the problem seemed to be time. We both needed to grow up, and now we’re right for each other when we weren’t before. I realize that’s not going to be the case in every ’second time around’ scenario, but I just wanted to mention that there are exceptions to the rule.

I don’t think a blanket ‘never go back’ rule is the thing, but it is important to think about why you broke up the first time, and be honest with yourself about whether those problems continue today.

Anon: I’m going on the assumption that I wouldn’t have to worry about this at all if I didn’t feel like I wanted to be with a person. It’s all about whether I should or should not “go for it” - and if I’m likely to get my heart trounced on by doing so.

Bottom line? I think us girls look back when we lose confidence. It’s not that that past relationship was what we are seeking now, it is simply that many women hate being alone and it’s easy to forget why we left the arms of another who will say or do anything to have that level of intimacy again.