The Way of Things

This, my friends, is the way things should be.

Sitting in a nice, quiet apartment with laundry going, a glass of wine in hand (and about half the bottle on the counter waiting to be consumed), tapping on the laptop in front of the TV.

In my underwear.


(except for that crazy cat of course).

I have made the decision that Ray is going to GO. Of course, I haven’t told him yet. I’d rather he sneak off into the night ASAP (the thought of spending Christmas vacation at home with him around makes me want to cry). When he moved in I said that barring any unforseen circumstances, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere or kicking him out until after the school year.

But what do you do when things are just NOT. WORKING. OUT?

I’m sure it’s much more of a “not him it’s me” thing – but having him (or anyone) around in my home besides my own self right now is just enough to make me not want to be there. And that ain’t right yo!

So, the dilemma is this: do I give him a January 1 out date (he’ll be on winter break from school at that time) with the option to move his stuff out up until the 7th so he doesn’t have to deal with moving all in one day, or do I give him March 15 as an absolute out date (he’ll be on spring break from school that week) -because I am certainly NOT living with him any longer than that.

This still falls in with my “living alone by spring” plan – I’m just going to live alone exactly where I am instead of moving somewhere else. Displacing one roommate in the process.

I honestly wasn’t thinking about staying in my present quarters until I started looking around at what I could get for what my apartment is currently renting at on its own. Basically I could get something older, uglier, and with 1 less bedroom in Mount Pleasant for what I’m paying for 2 bedrooms in North Burnaby. And my landlord is re-doing the bathroom in the not-so-distant future. I have secure parking, a huge balcony, and a great neighbourhood. And I can turn that 2nd bedroom into a guest/dressing/computer/music/etc. room.

So the if has been decided – now it’s just a matter of how and when.

Which date would you suggest I give Ray for the “get the hell outta my house!” deadline? Keeping in mind that my bank account would appreciate, but doesn’t NEED the extra income, and kicking him out in the middle of the school year is a bitchy thing to do.

Also, if you’re bored, give me some fun and exciting ways to deliver the news – remember, his level of Polyanna syndrome is freakishly high – the goal here is to BREAK him entirely (a difficult thing to do).

UPDATE: (October 23, 2:14pm) The news has been broken. I gave him the March date, since winter is a shitty time to move. And it leaves me financially open to some other endeavors. He still has the option to (with notice) leave sooner. And as fun as it was to read everyone’s suggestions, I was of course a decent human being about it all.

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10 thoughts on “The Way of Things

  1. Mel

    Having been a nomadic student, I think moving between terms is much more fun than moving during spring break, so if you look at it that way I’d say January 1st (and the extra moving days are always nice).

    As for how to let him know your plans, I’d definitely say use the “it’s not you, it’s me” approach. And the more warning you give him, the better.

  2. Karin

    If you want to break him, I suggest clinking glasses with him on New Years and toast him with “Happy New Year, and happy finding a new apartment because your stuff’s going on the lawn tomorrow at noon!”

    Of course, I’m not ACTUALLY recommending you do that…but I don’t really have any real concrete advice.

  3. dearheart

    Just throwing my crappy, financial two cents in yet again. You know that the maximum you should be spending on rent per month is 30% of your income, right? That includes all utilities.

  4. Toothpaste

    I do not know which is better to move in the school sense, but, I personally would appreciate knowing as head of time as possible. Gives plenty time to look, and to keep it idle-y (sp) in the back of your head longer.

    As for how to break it, I don’t know. I’m not much for drama, so “You gotta go, by date foo” would work for me.

  5. peechie Post author

    Mel: thanks for the student opinion

    Karin: bahahahah!

    dearheart: yep! based on a conservative estimate of my earnings averaged over the year, it’s exactly where I should be

    Toothpaste: foo to you too!

  6. Devon

    30%? Bahahaha.

    I could live in a crackshack in East Van for 30%. Or where I live right now, for significantly more.

    Also: Jan 1st, darling. Just do it.

  7. April

    I think Jan. 1 is a good choice. The sooner the better you’ll be happier.

    As for how to break him…I suggest taking the For Rent section of your paper, circle all the apartments that sound nice, wrap it up in Christmas paper, put it under the tree and give it to him for Christmas. See how long it takes him to figure it out.

  8. dearheart

    If you’re determined to do this, why don’t you just tell him, like an adult? He may not be your “cup of tea”, but he is still a human being with feelings. Jesus.

  9. Java

    Why ruin Christmas with worry? Take care of it now …. its now or later right? Its still the same stress at any time.

    These things are normal… and the chance you take when you form a partnership. Sometimes these things need to dissolve.

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