Preamble: Ever since Ray moved in, we’ve had two garbage cans in the bathroom. It honestly just offended some delicate sensitiblity I hold, so today I made the move, and took one away. The following exchange commenced once Ray noticed:
Ray: So uh… Jen… I was just in the uh… bathroom…
Self thinking: please don’t tell me you just defiled it, I don’t wanna know
Ray: CAN WE PLEEEEASE HAVE TWO GARBAGE CANS!?!?!?
Self thinking: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Ray: Well we’re two people!
Self thinking: DUH!
Ray: Well we’ll produce two people’s worth of garbage!
Self thinking: IDIOT!
Ray: Well we’ll have to change that garbage like, every three days!
Self thinking: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Ray: Well… well…. well….
Self: I’ll change the garbage then, if it’s that much of an issue for you.
Self thinking: For someone who’s seemingly so concerned with personal hygiene, you want to keep bathroom garbage around twice as long? Curiouser and curiouser….
Ray: (defeated) okaaaaaay….
Self thinking: winner!