Wedding Bells

While I’m not ready to say that it sucks being single (because HELLO! It’s kinda fabulous!), occasionally it’s inconvenient. One of those inconveniences is attending weddings.

I’ve got an RSVP card for myself and “guest” that I need to get back to the betrothed in a week. Do I bother with a guest? Even though I’m not really dating anyone specific, I know many lovely gentlemen who I’m sure would be pleased as punch to don a suit, and accompany me to what promises to be a rockin’ good time of a wedding.

But there’s also that part of me that doesn’t want to bring a “random date” to what will be a pretty small and intimate wedding, where most people will know most other people. As good a friend as the date may be, there’s a 99.9% chance that he’ll have zero connection to anyone there but me – and that just has a whole gigolo vibe about it. So there’s a big part of me that thinks I may as well fly solo – these people are fun, and I always have a good time with them anyway.

But what happens if, in a month, there’s someone in the picture that I really would like to go to the wedding with? Do I RSVP with the +1 just in case? That way it leaves things open? Do I ask a friend to be a backup date (I know, nobody wants to be that person), in case I’m not with anyone by the time the wedding day rolls around? Do I be like this guy and find someone cute from craigslist to bring along (at least then I can make sure I pick someone who can dance)?

Then there’s the problem that Richard describes (which he wrote about concerts, but I think applies equally well to weddings):

Going to events “alone” when there are hundreds, sometimes thousands of other attendees sucks. A lot. Before is boring with nobody to talk to to pass the time. During is boring with nobody to dance with or steal a glace to see how they’re enjoying it. After is boring because there is nobody to compare notes with. It still beats sitting at home the day after wishing I had gone, but it’s not all it could be.

I feel like I’m stuck in that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie is trying to figure out what to do with the +1 on her invite.

So, what would you do? Feel free to also throw in a “get over yourself because someone else’s wedding is in no way about you at all” as well. But if there is even one snarky comment that says “I don’t know what I’d do because I’m blissfully in looooooooooove and never go anywhere alone,” well then as happy as I am with my current state, I will still cut you, bitch.

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7 thoughts on “Wedding Bells

  1. Phil

    Hi Jen – go with your instincts and fly solo! You never know who will be there… by the way, love the new site (well, not so new but sorry to say new to me!.. been busy..) Regards Phil

  2. April

    I think that you should send the card back with the +1 and if aren’t with someone by the time the wedding rolls around, take one of your good friends. You’re bound to have a good time no matter what. But then again what do I know because i’m blissfully in looooooooooove and never go anywhere alone…tee hee

  3. NetChick


    We’re having the same dilemma, with the same wedding rsvp… Except I already sent mine in with the +1 — Hell, I’m not going to my brother’s wedding without a date. Although, Vern will be there to harass, too. Hmmm. I might call and get them to remove my date add-on, afterall.

  4. nelly

    i would invite me, cause i’m fabulous at weddings. i chat with everyone and i don’t drink and make of a fool of myself. that’s the best part 😉

  5. andrea

    i say, bring me.

    seriously though, as cliche as it sounds, its somewhat empowering to go to these things alone. you come out feeling proud, it’s like, hey, look at me, i’m not afraid of being alone! i can manage fine without a human crutch by my side!

  6. Really Sue this time

    I say if there’s nobody in the picture right now, don’t put in the 1+ because then, the minute you meet someone the slightest bit interesting, you’re going to be thinking in your head, “is this a potential wedding date?” and that will create all kinds of weirdness and false pressures on what could otherwise turn out to be a good relationship or at least fling. Whoa, was that ALL one sentence there? Anyways, save yourself the agony of looking for wedding date for the next month, and just go sans date. Save the lovely couple some money.

  7. dearheart

    Whatever you decide to do, please ensure that the betrothed know in advance exactly how many are coming, as they may have to pay for your +1 even if he´s not coming.

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