Letter to an Occupant

If you’re looking for happy and fun, try clicking on the Blogroll link and reading some other bloggers. This post is dedicated entirely to being cranky.

First, to my old friend Burnout – I haven’t missed you. Please pack up your stuff and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I know I invited you in with the long days and late nights and over-extending myself. But I’ve had enough. See, if you insist on sticking around much longer, I’m afraid your partner in crime Panick Attack will miss you and show up to make it a 3-some.

Also, an apology to my fridge. The fact that you’re kinda stinky these days is not lost on me. In fact, I would like nothing more than to toss out the science experiments that are developing in your many nooks and crannies. In addition to that, it’d be really great to fill you with something other than beer, the brita filter, and mustard – but that requires both cleaning you out, and going foraging for sustinence – neither of which sound particularly appealing right now considering the above.

And to my dream car: I know you’re out there somewhere! I promise that I’m really trying to make some time to come find you so that we can finally spend our carefree days cruising through the non-bus lanes as a gas-guzzling single-passenger polluter. I would like nothing more than to abandon the grip that public transit has on me and my schedule right now, but it’s a bit of a catch-22. Having a car would free up so much time that I could really use to go out and find a car. But soon, my precious, soon we’ll be together!

Finally, to that gigantic mountain of laundry hiding in the closet and waiting to pounce – I’m coming for you. When you least expect it, I’ll be there to tackle your baskets full of machine washables. If we could strike a deal though – I promise to follow all the proper washing instructions, if you promise to keep all the socks present and accounted for – that would be super duper.

So yah. Busy doesn’t even start to describe it. Though I do have a birthday coming up in a few weeks… Any of you want to pitch in for a clone so I have some help around here?

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3 thoughts on “Letter to an Occupant

  1. Sue

    Can’t help with the clone, but next week I’d be happy to be your car-shopping buddy. It’d be fun. We can wear miniskirts and too much makeup and watch the slimy car dealers try to take advantage of us. And then, WATCH OUT CAR DEALER! We’s iz educamated! We know how to buy a used car and not get ripped off!

    Maybe I’m too excited about that. Regardless, I’m up for it.

  2. diane

    hey girlie… birthdays are fun! any plans for your birthday celebrations yet? let us know we will be there for sure!
    d

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