… do my allergies come out when it rains?

Le Ow.

And on it goes. Apparently I am not allowed to have consistently awesome roommates. The laws of the universe have dictated that roommates must alternate between super-awesome, and INSANE.

The next episode in the crazy Ray saga is that now, he has decided that my brother Ryan hates him. Or something.

This is a long one.. you’ve been warned (sorry for the extra click Heather!)
(more…)

Oh god.. more pictures?

Originally uploaded by peechie.

That’s Heather B Armstrong, and This is MY website!

I was fortunate enough to make the acquaintance of the taller half of the Armstrong family last night with a small group of local bloggers, and it was an evening I won’t soon forget.

Heather and Jon are so much more amazingly funny, friendly, humble, and just plain smart than they could ever convey through their websites. I think it’s safe to say that we all had a great time, and I’m glad we seemed “normal and not dangerous.”

Enjoy the rest of your stay in our rainy city, and please come back soon. We’ll call you once we get those Target & Tivo issues sorted out.

Until then, we’ll always have “crotchless paint-ies!”

UPDATE: Jamie? email me your URL! I don’t have it! Nevermind. I am apparently the worst person *ever* at putting two and two together.

So. There was a Tsunami warning last night. That I didn’t hear about until long after it was cancelled.

Guess why I didn’t hear about it?

I WAS OUT ON A TINY BOAT IN THE OCEAN.

Funny thing is, there were plenty of other boats out there with us, and while I’m not exactly up on my marine safety protocol in the event of a major disaster, you’d think someone out there would’ve looked a little more worried than anyone did. But no. Everyone just continued to hang out on the water like a giant wave wasn’t on its way to crush us - which it wasn’t, but it might’ve been!

I should probably re-read my life insurance policy.

I’m sure all the ladies in the house know that we should be feeling ourselves up on a regular monthly basis, to check for any abnormalities.

But do the boys know they should do the same?

Here’s a little clip that will… stimulate… your memory, and encourage you to… touch yourself.

Give it a Go.

Anyone who’s been to my place knows that the sliding glass doors instead of regular windows are the bane of my existence. Mostly because they negate my ability to install an air-conditioner.

But by gum, this DIY contraption might just offer a solution!

I’m TOTALLY going to try it.

I’m SUCH a nerd.

Say you go on a date with someone. And it comes up in conversation that you both blog. And you both mention that you don’t give the url to people you’re dating, because it just results in weirdness.

So you forget about it, and go home. And maybe a couple days later, you google the person. And they’ve written a blog entry with their full name in it. So there it is, their blog in all its bloggery glory, tempting you to read it.

Do you?

I think I mentioned a while ago that I’ve got another new roommate - his name is Ray (just like the last one, whom I am starting to miss terribly). And he is CRAZY. And not too bright (especially considering he’s had 28 years of experience on this planet and hasn’t blown himself up yet).

A laundry list of things I find strange and/or absolutely idiotic about the new Ray:

-He uses girls’ deoderant (Dove for sensitive skin) - in fact, the only distinctively male product in the bathroom is a bottle of Armani Mania (which, tragically, I hate).

-He also seems to be preparing for some sort of personal hygiene product crisis. He has at least 5 (usually more) of each of the following under the sink: Sticks of deoderant, tubes of toothpaste, bottles of shampoo, bars of soap, bottles of Gold Bond powder, bottles of Listerene, pairs of Dr. Scholl’s shoe inserts. Also keep in mind that none of these are the Costco multipacks - they’re all singles.

-He is so high strung that if I say something to him when he’s not looking, and not expecting to hear me speak, he’ll actually flinch with surprise - I’d expect the same reaction out of a normal person if I jumped out from behind a wall wearing a Jason mask and brandishing a meat cleaver.

-He asks me if I mind if he showers EVERY time he has a shower when I’m home and awake. Just in case I need the bathroom, or the sound of the shower might annoy me, or something… Along the same lines, he turns on the shower three separate times. Water on for 5-7 minutes, water off for 3-5 minutes. I’m not sure what he’s doing during the gaps between showers, but it seems odd.

-He was making coffee this morning, and asked me “this didn’t brew too well yesterday, do you think I need to grind this some more? (pointing at the jar)” It’s INSTANT. I told him that no, you just add boiling water to it, you don’t put it in the drip machine. He looked at me like I was Aristotle and just revealed the meaning of life.

-He tried to assemble an Ikea desk, and broke it. Tiny chunks of MDF everywhere. It looks like he attacked it with the hammer. He obviously skipped the “square peg: round hole” day in preschool.

-He burnt himself while ironing a shirt. Not totally unexpected, I’ve done the same myself. But he burnt his BICEP. What. the. fuck. Was he ironing the shirt while it was on his body?

I swear to all things holy, if I don’t manage to kill him in the next year or so, I am NEVER having a roommate again.

June Haircut

Originally uploaded by peechie.

I did it. I cheated on Olga. With Lisa.

It’s not my fault! Olga wasn’t available. I was tired of her technique. Things just weren’t fresh ane exciting anymore. I could hardly see her, and when I did, I didn’t feel loved anymore. We were in a rut.

And along came Lisa. With her perky personality and edgy style - how could I say no?

I’m gonna have to dump Olga. I don’t know how to tell her… There’s no way I can keep it from her. Maybe if I don’t call she’ll think I moved?

I feel so dirty inside.

If loving this hair is wrong - I DON’T WANNA BE RIGHT!

I had a dream the other night. I dreamt about Tony Pierce.

Not about his blogging or any of the crazy stories he writes or about anything in those stories - just Tony.

He held my hand and we wandered around Stanley Park on a gorgeous, sunny day (which we seem to be sorely lacking around here), and he whispered sweet, rambling nothings in my ear the whole way - it was like a busblog audioblog to the nth degree. And even though he’s 111 years old, and I have trouble relating to anyone much over 30, we practically read eachother’s minds.

Then we ate ice cream, and he said “No wonder Miss Canada is Miss Universe, Canadian girls are the most beautiful girls in the world.”

And then he linked to me.

And then I woke up.

Grandparents on their 55th Anniversary

Originally uploaded by peechie.

No wonder I have such high expectations!

I figure if I can’t find someone to grow old with, who I’m this happy with, whom I love this much after 55 years together, well I’d just rather live with cats.

Happy Anniversary Oma & Opa!

The nature of my work schedule lately has me staying up a little later than usual. So I’ve been catching Letterman, and the beginning of Conan, for most of the week.

Last night, Dave brought out the Carnage.

Paul Anka was the musical guest. Which in and of itself isn’t horrible. Except he sang “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” It’s all a part of the publicity for his new album Rock Swings - which takes some of the most iconic rock songs of the 80’s and 90’s, and Anka-fies them.

Damn you Paul Anka, for bastardizing my youth! And double damn you for making it catchy as all hell! So if you see me lindy-hopping to “Eye of the Tiger,” you’ll know why.

And for this, he gets the Order of Canada.

Great thing about working independently #412:

Having NSFW conversations on msn between phone calls.

Hi,

My name is Jen, and I eat lunch by myself.

I’m rapidly realizing that my lack of lunch-buddies at the new workplace is turning me into one of those crazy people who talks to herself (ok, I was crazy like that already…).

Do you work in/near the financial district/Coal Harbour in Vancouver? do you wanna head out that way anyway to eat lunch with me?

Now accepting applications. Please send all queries via the comments box.

Thank you.

I have always been a believer in things happening for a reason.

The same day I was starting my new job, my ex-co-workers were finding out that their contracts (which expire at the end of this month) are not being renewed.

Why yes, that is a horseshoe up my hoo-hah… thanks for asking.

Seriously though, I do feel pretty bad for a couple people - this will make it a very tough summer for them. But they’re smart cookies, and this job was WAY below them, and I’m sure they’ll land on their feet just fine. I really hope the ones who were settling like I was find a job that’s more challenging and rewarding - and that they realize there’s more to work and life than a cubicle and extended health benefits and two weeks of vacation.

And this is the part where I reveal what a terrible person I am:

There was one person there who wasn’t very bright, and I didn’t really get along with her - being that her biggest talents are brown-nosing and tossing her ample bosom around (the girl can not take half a step without jiggling SOMETHING), and generally making doe eyes and kissy lips into the glass ceiling that I’d really rather smash over her face… but I digress…

Anyway, apparently this girl is just a MESS because she has no idea what she’ll do now, considering she’s got no education and just some basic secretarial skills. Her work experience consists of this job she was just let go from, and McDonald’s. She won’t be living in any sort of financial hardship, since she still lives at home with her parents - but I would’ve paid money to have seen her face when she got the news…. It’ll also be interesting to see where she ends up next (my guess is retail - because while she’s not ugly, she’s not pretty enough to be one of those executive assistants that can get away with having no real skills).

My ex-workplace is now the 2nd places in as many years that I’ve worked where things have shut down and everyone’s been laid off. It seems to be quite typical these days, and frankly it’s getting a bit disconcerting. If this doesn’t slow down, I may pull a Cocktail and abandon the rat-race for a cabana on a small tropical island somewhere - though really, I’m about as close as I can get to that right here. As long as the sun comes out again soon!