So I’m doing my accounting homework at the very last minute. Again.
And as usual, I feel like there’s a big gap in my level of understanding. It’s very much like learning a foreign language through immersion. You get the general gist of things… but when you go to put the words together yourself, it doesn’t quite work out.
I’ve always tended to do things that I have something of a natural ability for. It means that I haven’t actually ever learned how to learn or how to study. I hear, I read, I absorb – and it all makes sense in my mind. And now I’ve undertaken something that doesn’t immediately make sense.
I’m right about at the point where I’d typically give up.
But I haven’t actually even tried yet. I left lecture early. I didn’t actually read the chapter (though I did skim it). And now I’m trying to do the assignment the night before it’s due.
That tactic has always sufficed before. And suddenly it doesn’t. And even though it shouldn’t, it’s making me feel stupid.
Stupid for being upset about not having some innate ability for a totally new subject.
Stupid for not recognizing that and not immediately doing what I can to compensate.
Stupid for not challenging myself earlier, so I know better how to deal with these situations.
Stupid for wasting so much time on wasting time, and not making the things that matter a priority (this doesn’t just apply to school).
Time to stop being stupid.