Hey Look! A meme! I’m this bored, and still have 2.5 days of time off ahead of me. I predict all sorts of no good going on.
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(Have you clued in yet that I’ve decided I’d rather blog than work today?)

The Good
My co-workers just presented me with a going away card and a Chapters gift card. How sweet! I’m all verklempt.

The Bad
Actually no, the sniffles are from the allergies, which (like the sunshine) have returned with a vengence. I want to slam my hand in the drawer, just to take my mind off the pain of my sinuses. Speaking of sunshine, I wore JEANS today. What kind of crack was I on when I got dressed this morning? I’m going to melt in this heat.

The Ugly
No pretty segue here. Just a tiny note that I think a friend is pretty miffed at me. And short of offering up further apology, I’m not sure where to go from here. I don’t think re-hashing anything would make a difference. Nevertheless it makes me sad, and I’m just hoping that time heals all wounds.

Just a note to anyone who may be interested: I’ll be having drinks at Steamworks this evening, to celebrate the leaving of the job.

I should be there by 5-ish, show up anytime during the evening if you’re so inclined for some fine beverages and finer company. The more the merrier.

If you don’t currently peruse The Morning News at least once a week (especially the Non-Expert column), you’re definitely missing out.

Today they bring us 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Simon’s song, from 1975’s Still Crazy After All These Years, quotes some mysterious woman as saying there must be 50 ways to leave your lover, allowing lazy songwriter Simon to only offer five ways in the chorus: to “slip out the back, Jack; make a new plan, Stan; you don’t need to be coy, Roy; hop on the bus, Gus; just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.”

But what about escape routes for the world’s homosexual Daves? The world’s distraught Margos and emotionally damaged Bills? No worries, relationship-haters, this Non-Expert is happy to help fill the gap ol’ Rhymin’ Simon left 30 years ago…

Or you could just do what I do, and leave before they wake up in the morning….

And here it is… my last day at the unrewarding cube-farm.

For those who were wondering, my better judgement won out this morning, and the kahlua stayed home.

And now I bring to you, the LAST DAY OF THIS DAMN JOB RANDOM 10! Lots of repeats from the last couple weeks I’m sure, because I haven’t gotten around to switching up the tunage yet.

1. Billy Talent - Nothing to Lose
2. Killers - Coming Out
3. Jack Johnson - Banana Pancakes
4. Sweatshop Unio - Thing About It
5. Weezer - Beverley Hills
6. System of a Down - Aerials
7. Audioslave - Shadow on the Sun
8. Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight, Goodnight
9. New Order - Turn
10. Black Eyes Peas - Don’t Phunk With My Heart

So… a note to all the granola crunchers who say Nuclear Power is a Bad Idea, and cite Chernobyl as evidence….

EXPOSURE TO RADIATION MAKES CHILDREN SMARTER, STRONGER, FASTER, BETTER!

I’m totally hitting up the dentist for a few more xrays this year, and permanently strapping my cellphone to my head.

Perhaps I’ll even rig the microwave to operate with the door open.

I’ve been tagged with the 3 things meme. Check the extended entry for the answers.

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The sale of the company I’m about to no longer work for closed as of this morning (if you’re just tuning in, I just quit - so the sale has zero bearing on me whatsoever). And the lemmings, they are ANXIOUS! And also FRIGHTENED! Which means I am currently very, very amused.

This is the 2nd time the company’s been sold in the past year. Last time they finalized a sale, they sent out meeting requests to everyone to gather in different rooms to be given the official announcement.

What they actually did was send a meeting request to everyone who wasn’t being fired, to meet in the Cafeteria. Everyone who was being fired (about 20% of my office) was told in groups of 10-15 people all in separate rooms that they’d just been axed. Nobody actually realized until after the fact that there had been separate room requests made.

You can only imagine what happens now every time a company-wide announcement goes out.

Earlier today an announcement went out for a company-wide conference call with the new CEO tomorrow morning. Except apparently the merging of the email lists hasn’t quite been worked out yet. So some people got the announcement, and other’s didn’t. MADNESS ENSUED.

I believe I’m on my 5th copy of the email now - each one from a different HR or Management personality - and it finally has a disclaimer on the top saying “There is a problem with the email distribution lists, please forward this to any of your co-workers who haven’t received it!”

And as if that weren’t enough, we haven’t even been granted the dignity and respect that we’re autonomous beings of just dialing in to the call from our cubicles. No. We’ve been instructed to gather around our respective Team Leader’s desks and listen to it on speakerphone. For support or cameraderie or some such bullshit. Or maybe just to make sure we’re not sitting at ourr desks listening to mp3s & blogging isntead of participating in the call. Not that I’d do that!

However I may show up drunk.

After days of hearing the hype, I just watched the Paris Hilton Carl’s Jr. commercial.

Meh.

For those not in the know, the commercial consists of Paris in a Bikini, washing a Bentley and chowing on a Carl’s Jr. burger of some sort.

She’s a pretty girl and all, but falls far short of that porn star look - which is what the commercial was based on. I guess she’s kindof necessary, since the tagline is “that’s hot” - but Carmen Electra, Jenna Jamieson, or Pam Anderson would’ve done a far superior job. Paris just ends up looking like a baby giraffe getting its legs.

I guess the burger’s hot, but Paris, in that commercial, is not.

Can anyone point me to a resource of some sort that will show me how to edit the ID tags on my mp3s?

Thanks.

There’s a part of me that wants to spend this last week at the job I’m leaving just fucking the dog and not doing much of anything.

Then there’s the other part of me that wants to blaze through all the work I possibly can (which is a fairly ridiculous amount), just to shove it in my employers’ face that yes, I am that good and if they had respected that fact, I may not feel as bitter toward them as I do.

I wonder if they’d notice if I started showing up with liquor in my coffee….

This is old news, but Pearl Jam is coming to town in September, and tickets go on sale this weekend.

Thing is, every time I hear a reminder about the upcoming show I get excited. For about half a second. And then I remember what year it is. And realize that the show is coming about 14 years too late.

I’m from the camp that everything they’ve done has been mediocre to suck since Ten. If they showed up, played every song on Ten, and Better Man from Vitalogy and went home, I’d consider the show worth it. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I have a feeling that if I did go, I’d just end up standing in my seat screaming Turn Up the Good, Turn Down the Suck!

Pillow Talk

Originally uploaded by peechie.

Sometimes it’s hard being so fabulous.

It has the potential to get me into far too much trouble. And then feelings get hurt and nobody’s happy.

At least the note on the pillow was sweet.

Thanks to Josh for reminding me in the last entry’s comments that I still need to announce the winner of the “What should I call my Job” contest.

And the winner is….. Josh himself! How can I say no to spelunking?!?!? I can’t. So my new job will henceforth be known as Spelunking Coordinator at the Local Spelunking Club, where I will both organize the spelunking coaches and equipment, and manage the Learn to Spelunk (LTS) and Corporate LTS programs.

So Josh will soon be the proud owner of a Mix CD created by my very own self titled “Music to Spelunk To”!

And now, today’s Random 10:
1. Jack Johnson - Do You Remember
2. Audioslave - Gasoline
3. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
4. Nine Inch Nails - The Hand that Feeds
5. The Killers - Coming Out
6. Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway (oh the shame! the random 10 finally betrays me!)
7. The Ataris - Boys of Summer
8. Foo Fighters - Everlong
9. Death Cab for Cutie - We Looked Like Giants
10. The Ataris - Angry Nerd Rock

Even though I knew I had to be at work no later than 7:00am today, I stayed up until about 11:00pm with my roommate and brother, sitting on the balcony watching the (all too rare around these parts) thunder & lightening storm and smoking cigars.

This is after I rescued my brother from the hospital, where they were busy hosing the debris out of what used to be his elbows. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to ride his skateboard down a large hill, and only realized halfway down that his ego was writing cheques his body couldn’t cash.

And that was the most relaxing evening at home I’ve had in about 3 weeks.

I’ve got a reallybig latte from the McCafe down the street - though the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet. At least I learned my lesson from last time, and got regular non-fat milk, instead of the soy.

This laundry list of mundane crap brought to you by Friday, Payday, and the fact that I only have one week of painfully boring job left.

Happy 800th post to me.