This particular Ridiculously High Standard has been just waiting to be written about. I figured it was about damn time I put it down on… uh… paper? website? Whatever.
This one is about the GEEK WALK. I can not bear to be with someone who walks the geek walk. The first time I encountered it was in high school. A guy friend of mine (who will remain nameless in case he should google himself some day) was a full-on geek walker. Since then I’ve noticed it a multitude of times – and it never fails to simultaneously amuse and appal me.
You may have seen the geek walk and not even be aware that it had a name. It usually looks a little like this: Guy walking down the street, leaning forward like he’s fighting a headwind, and his hip, knee, and ankle joints seem to be having trouble functioning in unison. May or may not be accompanied by a firmly clenched posterior. If you’ve ever seen the movie Hitch, Kevin James give a stunning performance of Geek Walk.
The bottom line on this one is that if a guy looks like he’s walking into a hurricane with a prosthetic leg and a large stick up his ass, he’s really got zero chance with me. I can’t help it.
My god! Yes! I too have seen! I can tell from a distance because it tends to make you bounce in a really unflattering way; it has something to do with taking steps that are too long for your legs, which is why the leaning over and the stiffness. These geeks, they have SOMEWHERE TO BE, at least they feel the need to let the world know that they have SOMEWHERE TO BE, even if they don’t.
Ah, yes, that good old geek walk.
YES! WITH THE BOUNCING! I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION THE BOUNCING!
(I’m trying really hard not to laugh out loud in the middle of work now.)
My brother had this funny kind of geek walk when he was EIGHT. I used to walk with him and a friend of mine to school each day, and we’d walk behind him on the path through the empty field, mimicking his steps. With each step he’d kind of rise up on his toes before stepping out and placing the other foot in front of him. This would make his head bob up and down. Picture this poor little blond boy walking along with two tiny little blond girls walking behind him mimicking and exaggerating his stride. Good times 😀
My mate Chris Hills walk like that. I think he is trying to walk confidently, but he looks like a nob.