This particular Ridiculously High Standard has been just waiting to be written about. I figured it was about damn time I put it down on… uh… paper? website? Whatever.
This one is about the GEEK WALK. I can not bear to be with someone who walks the geek walk. The first time I encountered it was in high school. A guy friend of mine (who will remain nameless in case he should google himself some day) was a full-on geek walker. Since then I’ve noticed it a multitude of times – and it never fails to simultaneously amuse and appal me.
You may have seen the geek walk and not even be aware that it had a name. It usually looks a little like this: Guy walking down the street, leaning forward like he’s fighting a headwind, and his hip, knee, and ankle joints seem to be having trouble functioning in unison. May or may not be accompanied by a firmly clenched posterior. If you’ve ever seen the movie Hitch, Kevin James give a stunning performance of Geek Walk.
The bottom line on this one is that if a guy looks like he’s walking into a hurricane with a prosthetic leg and a large stick up his ass, he’s really got zero chance with me. I can’t help it.