I’m about to make my great escape from cubeland for 63 whole hours in a row. At which point I will immediately launch myself into Insanity™. For the sake of posterity (and my mind, so it’s written down somewhere, I present to you, My Weekend. Chaos in 3 Acts.

Friday Night

5:00PM - Go Home.
5:15PM - Gather laundry. Try not to trip over it all as you gather it up. Pray for free washers. Start Laundry.
5:45PM - Transfer laundry to Dryer. Go to the bar across the street for “farewell now-ex-co-worker” drinks with co-workers.
6:45PM - Return Home. Remove laundry from dryer. FOLD IT because if you don’t do it now, it will never get done.
7:00PM - Improv time: either go back to the bar, or crash on the couch with a movie.
9:00PM - Gather supplies for volunteering tomorrow.. clean clothes, volunteer t-shirt, snacks, book.
10:00PM - SLEEP.

Saturday

8:00AM - Drag sorry ass out of bed. Shower, shit, shave, etc.
9:00AM - Head downtown. (Note to self - if you do not leave NOW you will have no time to stop at Starbucks!!!)
10:00AM - Volunteer at Health & Wellness Expo. Secretly laugh behind the backs of people who are crazy enough to run a marathon. (Actually seethe with jealousy at people who can run a marathon, instead of wheezing after running half a block to catch a bus.)
8:00PM - Finish volunteering. GO HOME, GO DIRECTLY HOME. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200!
8:45PM - Put shit together for volunteering on Sunday. Please do this neatly, you will not be coherent in the morning.
9:00PM - GO TO BED.

Sunday

4:30AM - WAKE UP SUCKER! Try to remember to put on pants.
5:15AM - Head toward skytrain. Go the long way so you can hit Tim Hortons, without caffine things could get nasty.
6:15PM - Volunteer at Marathon. Water Station #1 - go runners go!
1:15PM - Finish with the volunteering. Go for much needed lunch/coffee with Devon.
5:00PM - Leave downtown by this time at the latest so you’re home in time for…
6:00PM - FAMILY GUY RETURNS!
6:30PM - Make food, clean house, get ready for bed.
8:59PM - Crawl into bed just in time for…
9:00PM - Desperate Housewives
10:00pm - Hopefully fall asleep, just after realizing weekends are nowhere near long enough.

Woe is indeed me this morning. I left my mp3 player at home. I knew there would be a price to pay for going to bed instead of assembling all of my crap in a pile somewhere near the door. And this is it. And it is a price TOO HIGH my friends. If I make it through the day alive, it may be a small miracle.

So instead of the Friday Random Ten of shuffled songs I own, I shall give you the next 10 songs on the radio (which at this very moment is playing the new Foo Fighters, which makes everything ok for the next 3 minutes, and makes me want to have Dave Grohl’s moppy haired babies).

1. Metallica - Unforgiven
2. Foo Fighters - Best of You
3. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Soul to Squeeze
4. Tragically Hip - Courage
5. Linkin Park - Breaking the Habit
6. KISS - Rock and Roll All Night
7. Theory of a Deadman - No Surprise
8. Hole - Celebrity Skin
9. Sum 41 - Pieces
10. Jet - Are you Gonna Be My Girl

It’s funny how some songs just take you back. Every time I hear Unforgiven, it never fails to remind me about our unofficial High School Rock Band, the Cadavers, who would give lunch time concerts to raving audiences of nearly 50! And I had an unexplainable crush on the drummer. Dave McDougall, Mike Duke, Kale DuBois… where are you now??? Speaking of drummers… wasn’t Dave Grohl the drummer for Nirvana? Maybe I’ve just got a thing for drummers…

On a totally unrelated note, I think I managed to offend the lesbian cashier at the Book Warehouse last night merely with the selection of books I chose to purchase. Is buying a diet cookbook and a chick-lit novel in one shot really that bad? It’s not my fault they were both such good deals!!! And I had to reapply my lip gloss in the store. My lips were so dry… you understand, right?

And even though I haven’t actually been watching the show, my player in the Survivor Pool at work was knocked out last night. F-U Stephenie. I could’ve used that $120.

I think it’s a very good thing it’s Friday. I am far too full of angst and bile for my own good. Someone send puppies and rainbows ASAP.

Quick reminder that today is the Provincial Day of Mourning for workers who have been killed on the job.

Also a note that safety at work isn’t just a concern for those in manual labour or trade jobs. There’s plenty of danger right here on the mean streets of the big city. We are trying to do more with less, and it’s tempting to get lazy about safety while doing it. Workplace violence is increasing at frightening levels.

For the Logger who drove his truck off the road.
For the Waitress who ended up with lung cancer due to 2nd hand smoke.
For the Office Clerk gunned down by a co-worker going postal.
For the Restaurant Manager stabbed trying to protect one of his staff from a man wielding a knife.
For the School Crossing guard run over trying to keep children safe.
For the Police Officers & Firefighters who put their lives on the line every day.

For you, the ones you love, and the ones that love you back.

Stay safe.

(I wanted to write this yesterday, but was afraid I’d jinx myself…)

After the great Patch Calamity of 2005, I decided to try a different contraception product - the Nuva Ring.

You can figure out how it works by checking the website, but the pertinent piece of information here is that you wear the ring for 3 weeks, and remove it for 1 week - same as the 3 week cycle of a 21-day birth control pill.

I’m on the off week. I wore very light beige Khakis. I carried no protection. Women everywhere are cringing.

However, my doctor mentioned that since going off of Depo Provera, my cycles likely won’t return for at least 3 months. And sure, I managed to get through the day without a Junior High Cosmo Girl Confessional moment of embarrassment, but I was still panic stricken every time I felt my uterus go “twinge.”

Today I’m wearing dark blue jeans. I feel much safer.

I’ve known for quite a while now that there are two kinds of people. Those who believe the glass is half full, and those who believe the glass is half empty. (Ok, there’s a third kind - the ones who don’t give a damn about the glass at all.)

I have also known for quite a while that I’m a glass half-full kindof person. I suppose it probably affects the way I respond to people and situations… I never really thought of it before.

However it has recently come to my attention that people who consistently respond to me, and things, and life, and everything with a glass half-empty attitude… well… lately I really just want to give them a swift kick in the teeth and say “There. Now you have something to complain about.”

I gotta get outta this place.

I’m the first to admit that I don’t pay as much attention to politics as I could.

But all of this hooplah around the Federal budget and the potential vote of non-confidence seems to have people riled up for what I think is no good reason. I think we’ve been used to having majority governments for far too long.

When there’s a majority government, we show up, we vote, and we get to sit back for about four years because the ruling party is then going to do whatever they want without much regard for anyone or anything else. It’s lazy politics, it promotes corruption and alternate agendas, and I’ve really had about enough of it.

With a minority government, the ruling party needs to win the support of other parties or MPs, or risk being ousted. Nobody wants an election every six months, so compromise is in everyone’s best interest. When there’s a minority government, constituents need to talk to their MPs to let them know what they do and don’t support. MPs need to ensure that their party has a firm stance on what is negotiable and what isn’t. Parliament as a whole needs to come together to pass bills & budgets that have been through real debate - not the yelling across the house that has no consequence because the majority party will push everything through on their agenda anyway.

In my opinion, that’s how government is supposed to work.

On May 17th, I’ll be showing up to vote YES for STV on the provincial ballot, and hoping for a minority provincial government. I think the parties could use a little tempering from eachother, and if it’s true that STV usually results in minority governments, I really can’t see that as a bad thing going forward.

I’m supposed to be playing softball right now. But thanks to translink, I got a 1.5 hour tour of East Vancouver instead.

I used the “trip planning” feature, and asked it how to get from work to the ballpark with the least amount of transfers. It handily told me a couple buses to take - should’ve been a 36 minute trip all told.

That did not even come close to working out.

So I am home. And angry. And determined now to purchase a scooter. At least I can rely on it to get me where I need to go.

Anyone have any ideas where to get a used one, for around $1000?

This particular Ridiculously High Standard has been just waiting to be written about. I figured it was about damn time I put it down on… uh… paper? website? Whatever.

This one is about the GEEK WALK. I can not bear to be with someone who walks the geek walk. The first time I encountered it was in high school. A guy friend of mine (who will remain nameless in case he should google himself some day) was a full-on geek walker. Since then I’ve noticed it a multitude of times - and it never fails to simultaneously amuse and appal me.

You may have seen the geek walk and not even be aware that it had a name. It usually looks a little like this: Guy walking down the street, leaning forward like he’s fighting a headwind, and his hip, knee, and ankle joints seem to be having trouble functioning in unison. May or may not be accompanied by a firmly clenched posterior. If you’ve ever seen the movie Hitch, Kevin James give a stunning performance of Geek Walk.

The bottom line on this one is that if a guy looks like he’s walking into a hurricane with a prosthetic leg and a large stick up his ass, he’s really got zero chance with me. I can’t help it.

Your Inner European is Dutch!

Open minded and tolerant. You’re up for just about anything.

(from Sue)

• Comment Spam sucks. But with WordPress it’s really easy to remove.

• I loathe viewings. A good friend of my mom’s passed away very suddenly last week, and they held the viewing/prayers last night. I can do memorials, I can’t do corpses. Notes to self: Do not become a doctor, plan for cremation.

• I much prefer churches that look like churches on the inside. The building can be simple, but some ornate, faith specific decor makes it feel like a church. On the flip side, I’m really not a fan of the super-sized multi-purpose “God Factories” that pass as churches these days. I feel like I’m worshiping at the altar of WalMart.

• I thought there should be at least one bullet where I don’t use italics.

• I have a new roommate, moving in June 1st. World, meet Ray v.2.0 (his name is also Ray, and he’s the same age as the current roommate … how strange is that?).

• I really need to work on my time-management skills. I’m insanely busy this week again, and still haven’t caught up on all the stuff I was putting off the last two weeks because I was so busy. Note to self: Start using your damn calendar!

• I am in LOVE with the new Foo Fighters single Best of You. I find it cruel and unusual punishment that the album doesn’t drop for a little over 49 days.

After all the craziness of the past couple weeks, I finally had a day for me and ohhhhhhhh my was it ever nice.

Started off enjoying the morning sun and a Frap on the patio at my local coffee joint, then went to get my hair done (nothing exciting to report, I had it done the same as last time). Then I went shopping and found a great pair of summer sandals (these, in bright pink). After shopping it was time for a pedicure (toes are now OPI Kimono’ver Here).

The rest of the day was spent with the tv and some chinese takeout. I’m feeling so relaxed, it’s hard to believe there’s still a whole ‘nother day to the weekend. Hopefully it’s just as relaxing, because next week it’s back to the craziness.

Welcome to the Earth Day version of the Friday Random 10. Remember to sort your recyclables, and get off your lazy butt and walk somewhere instead of driving!

1. Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
2. The Killers - Indie Rock & Roll
3. The Stills - Love & Death
4. Deltron 3030 - Madness
5. Long Beach Dub Allstars - My Own Life
6. The Ataris - Takeoffs and Landings
7. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
8. The Beautiful Girs - La Mar (The Ocean)
9. Long Beach Dub Allstars - Rosarito
10. Audioslave - Show me How to Live

In other news, I played raquetball last night, which is all the fun in the world. Until you wake up the next morning, and your body says “YOU IDIOT! That’s what you get for hurling yourself around a small glass box for over an hour.” Of course, that won’t stop me from doing it again, and again and again and again…

One of my favourite concepts that came up during many of the Political Economy courses I took is that of Monopolies of Knowledge. Before you get excited, it has nothing to do with being really, really good at the board game.

A Monopoly of knowledge is a system in place that serves to preserve the status and exclusivity of those who have undertaken the process of obtaining it, and therefore the power they hold over those who don’t have the knowledge. Early examples include the trend of only allowing priests or white men learn how to read. Today it’s still prevalent in careers such as medicine & law, where the abundant use of latin terms prevents those who can’t or don’t learn the terminology from fully participating.

Last night in class I learned another career which seems to rely on a monopoly of knowledge structure to preserve its status and power. Accounting. Holy crap. Plugging the numbers into the equations isn’t really that difficult. It’s all based on grade nine algebra.

Deciphering the language and presenting my work with that same language however, is going to take some practice. I may need flash cards. Or a decoder ring.

Because now I have n0tes at home that look something like this:

Unearned Revenues {sneaky!} - When is an asset not an asset? When it’s a liability!

No wonder accountants have always come off as just this side of batshit crazy. You kindof have to be to think that actually makes sense.

A while back I asked what readers wanted to know about me - and a surprising number of visitors voted for an entry about my religious background and leanings. I’m not a theologian, and I’m not preaching that any of the conclusions, or the process I’ve used to get to them, are right for anyone but myself.

I’ve managed to avoid trolls so far - probably because I avoid posting much of anything that’s terribly personal or terribly controversial. Hopefully nobody will say anything too hateful or hurtful, but I will be deleting any comments I think are unnecessarily mean or judegmental. So if that’s ok with you, my particular position is after the jump.

(more…)

I just went for Indian buffet for lunch.

Now I’m ready to pass out from a butter chicken coma, and so bloated I may have to undo my pants (which is saying a lot, because these pants already happen to be a smidge too big).

But it hurts sooooooo goooood.