Kiss Off
Preamble: watching Friday Night Lights, pondering the trials and tribulations (and memories) of living in a small town where the biggest goal is getting out (and also lusting after Tim McGraw), in a disgustingly popular movie theatre, where miraculously, it is less than 25% full and nobody is being annoying… yet…
(unspoken thoughts italicized in parentheses)
Her: Engrossed in movie
Him: “blah blah something something”
rinse and repeat 3 times or until thoroughlly peeved
Her: Engrossed in movie
Him: “blah blah something else”
Her: “SHHH!!!”
15 minutes later…
Her: Just getting back into movie
Him: “blah blah something something”
Her: (DIE.)
Fast Forward to car ride home…
Him: So how do you think the date went?
Her: (If you have to ask – you don’t want to know the answer) “It was fine… man I’m tired. And you talked during the movie. I may have to cut you.”
Him: “Heh. Literally or figuratively?”
Her: “A bit of both.”
Him: “Well, I’ll just have to bring a voice recorder next time to record my smart-ass comments so I can play them back for you afterward.”
Her: (IDIOT! THAT REQUIRES TALKING! JUST. SHUT. UP!) “Heh.”
Arrival at Her house
Him: Leans in for kiss
Her: Panicks
Him: About to make contact
Her: With nowhere to go, succumbs to a small, short (and not entirely unpleasant) kiss
Him: Pulls back slightly
Her: Sees chance for escape! Darts out of car after a quick “Thanks, I had fun, Take care!”
Him: Drives off
Her: Goes inside. Brushes and Flosses thoroughly. Writes blog entry. Goes to bed.
October 17th, 2004 at 9:04 pm
“There is a special level of hell for child molesters and people who talk in the theater. A very special level.” – Shepherd Book, Firefly.
Clearly that level doesn’t involve getting tongue on the good night kiss
October 17th, 2004 at 8:52 pm
my parents have a large back yard, a compost, and a lot of quicklime. Let me know if you need any help.
And thank you for reminding me why I rarely date.
October 16th, 2004 at 11:26 am
Bahahahaha.
I mean.. that sucks, but it sure is funny.
October 16th, 2004 at 10:56 am
*LOL* Ooh, the trials and tribulations of dating! I love it! Keep it coming, peechie! *hee hee*
October 16th, 2004 at 10:47 am
That’s very surprising behaviour from someone in management.
Of course, as he talked during the movie, we’ll have to kill him. I’ve been watching CSI, and believe I have several foolproof methods. Ask him out again, and this time for a nice long walk along the Fraser River.
October 16th, 2004 at 9:37 am
oh lord, it just keeps gettin’ better and better. he’s so clueless!
March 18th, 2005 at 6:06 pm
[...] he little hand shield. Perhaps his friends and family are uncouth with the beverages? -He talked during the movie (albeit a wee, tiny bit – but talking’s talking). -I h [...]