Have you ever had an experience where you walk into a public bathroom stall - and you wonder what the bathroom architect was smoking?

I’m assuming here, that public bathrooms are designed all at once - not that they put toilets in, then the walls (or vice versa).

There is one stall in the bathroom nearest me, where the toilet is not centered in the stall at all. You’ve practically got to scoot sideways under the toilet paper dispenser to sit squarely on the thing. It’s a very awkward situation, the scooting, when you’ve got your pants around your ankles and are trying not to knock the seat protector off kilter, and trying not to fall down.

So can anyone explain why?

Holy crap. I just talked to him.

I’ve really been avoiding him since it all went down last Thursday night, I figure if I pretend like he doesn’t exist (or went on a really long vacation), I won’t have to deal with “closure” and won’t get all weepy again.

But you know, it wasn’t that bad. On my part, the intense romantic love has been gone for a long time. And I don’t have to give up that love you have for close friends.

Honestly, it was just nice to hear his voice. There was no anger, no hatred. Just a bit of longing for what was. But hope - for a future where we can still get along and share eachother’s company a little bit - as friends.

I guess it’s a sign. The one day all month I’ve been home to watch Oprah, she’s got a show on extreme breakups. Compared to these women, I’ve got it good. As hard as it is to leave anyone, at least it was somewhat mutual - I didn’t get left or cheated on or anything.

But the gem of the show was one woman’s engagement cards. She sent out engagement announcements - then about 6 weeks later, her fiancee confessed he would likely cheat on her, and they shouldn’t get married.

What was she to do? Well she sent out follow-up cards to her engagement card recipient list. They read: “Picked the wrong man, gave him the wrong finger. Thanks for your love and support!”

Maybe it will be ok after all.

So, for anyone who was waiting for the full version of what I alluded to before the weekend, here’s the low down:

I broke up with my boyfriend.

Although we love eachother a whole lot - that love doesn’t seem to mesh with the rest of the world. Some might say “well that’s not real love,” but it really is love. Just not the forever kind. Others would say “try harder,” and believe me when I said we did. Unfortunately, as we grew up (the early 20’s are fairly significant transitional years as far as I’m concerned) we developed as very different people. This made the relationship pretty great in the vacuum of just the two of us - and less than great when family and friends came into the picture.

And after yet another argument, and after a little over four years, we’ve called it quits - no idea if it’s a temporary or permanent situation, but for the forseeable future we’re no longer an “us.”

After that period of time, it’s really hard to adjust being a “me” instead of part of an “us.” Externally, it’s not that hard a switch. He never was all that interested in spending any amount of time with my friends - I always made my own friends and pursued my own interests, with or without his presence. It’s those internal things that are tearing me up.

For instance: Who am I going to call (that will actually get it) when someone in my family says something silly? Who am I going to call for no reason at all - just to say “hi” or check in? Who am I going to have “Kinn Wars” with? Who’s going to call me Chicken (pronounced “Chee-kin” in a very high voice)? I do know that I will find new love and new inside jokes and new phone calls for no reason other than to say “hi” all in good time.

But in the meantime - a list of things that still threaten to make me cry at their very presence, or a mention of their name: sports (all of them - this guy is the ultimate fan of everything), vodka screw-ups, sportchek, metrotown, honda civics, anything to do with Montreal, every song on the radio, movies, the telephone (especially when it doesn’t ring), food, airplanes, my favourite picture of my family (because he took it), bbq, anything I’ve done of any significance in the past 4 years, everything.

There was a quote I heard once by a woman who lost her husband: “I don’t know how to grieve without you.” And that’s exactly what this is - mourning the loss of a very significant relationship. And I don’t know how to do that without him. But I’m learning.

Also, scary thought of the week: My parents were about my age (mom a little younger, dad a little older) when they got out of 4+ year relationships. They met each other within about 3 months of this time, were engaged 6 weeks later, and married inside a year. Anyone wanna start a pool?

Well, the big change has happened. I’m not being cryptic - I just don’t feel like talking about it right now. I’m sure that if you’ve been following along you can figure it out for yourself.

So I’ve got some thinking to do - some getting used to the situation as it is now.

I’m running off to visit with the parental units this weekend - I’ll write more when I get back sometime Monday.

Until then, I’m thinking it’s about damned time for a girls movie night at my place. How does Friday the 3rd work out for everyone? Or are you all skipping town for the long weekend?

Seems like every time I try to get my life in order, I try to do everything at once, and end up crashing and burning. So I think it’s time to lay things out slowly, so that I develop some positive habits and maintain life at the standard I like it.
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So… walk entry Part III - the end of the trilogy.

The people I encountered on this journey were incredible. I can’t possibly explain it and expect anyone who wasn’t there to understand, so here are a few of the little jems that I found along the way:
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I wish I had the guts to actually be as strong as I know I can be.

How fucking far is too far? Because every time I think I’m there, there’s still more in the distance.

And all this after I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again.

It used to be indie - now it’s…. emo?

I’m obviously way behind the times, but I’ve been wondering this for a while now.

Someone enlighten me… what exactly is “emo” ?

I couldn’t possibly talk about the walk without discussing the rain factor.

I had prepared (like most walkers) for a typical Vancouver forecast - light showers off and on all day. So I had water resistant & quick-dry clothing, capri-length pants, warm-ish (but not too warm) clothing, and a hat.

Little did we all know, it would be one of the 12 days this city gets every year with torrential, painful, stay indoors at all costs rain. It was a huge part of the weekend, and gets a very loooooooong entry. I won’t be offended if you skim, or skip this entirely. But if you want an account of the horror I endured, read on.
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I’m crafting some more entries about the walk - but I had to share this little tidbit…

Girls Lie Too is the title of a new song by Terri Clark (it’s good - I don’t give a damn if you don’t like Country).

I’ve posted the full lyrics in the extended entry, but there’s one line that absolutely cracks me up each and every time I hear it. It’s near the end of the song, when Terri is talking (as opposed to singing), and she says:

No, we don’t care how much hair you have
Yeah, that looks good
Comb it over like that
RRrrrrRRRrrrrRRrrr

Funny enough on it’s own - but my grandfather (wonderful man!) has the ubercombover. He could likely rival The Donald. So every time I hear that line, I think of this beautiful singer purring at my 83 year old Opa. I laugh. Out loud. Often. I think my co-workers are starting to wonder (since my music is on my headphones).
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I really don’t have the energy to write about the walk all at once, so I’ll just write about different parts over the next day or two.

Start: Plaza of Nations. Day 1. 35k.

We took the seawall past Yaletown (I’m sure the residents weren’t all that keen on the noise we made at 7:30am) and made a beeline down Hornby through downtown to Canada Place. From there, it was around the Seawall (haven’t done that in a while) to a soggy lunch at Sunset Beach.

Because of the rain, the rest of the day is a bit of a blur, but I do remember a few key intersections. We ended up walking from there across the Burrard Street Bridge, and up through Kits. At some point we went past the hospital, winding and weaving through East Van (to make up kilometers) until we got to Trout Lake Park. Then we headed further East to Killarney Park at 49th & Kerr where we camped for the night.

On the morning of Day Two we started from camp at Killarney and made a beeline back across the city, through Shaughnessy, almost to the UBC gates. Down into Kits again to Point Grey Road. The 25k walk took us down the road, along the water, past Kits Pool, and along the South Seawall to Granville Island. The last leg of the walk took us through False Creek and over the Cambie St. Bridge to BC Place.

Doesn’t sound like a lot when I put it down in a couple paragraphs - but man it felt like it.

I did it.

All of it.

Now I’m going to have a bath. And die.

On the off chance I don’t die, story to follow.

I finally finished all the last minute shopping I had to do for the Weekend. The weather forecast required me to actually go out and purchase that Jacket I was thinking about, and some plastic bags to wrap everything in.

And now I have to pack it all.

And pray that it doesn’t weigh more than 16lbs.

And I’d really rather be napping.

Gawd today is boring.

There is officially nothing more I can do that can contribute to alleviating the craziness at work, so I’m watching those around me go crazy, while I do the most boring, tedious tasks known to man. Including stapling papers together, and stuffing envelopes. *yawn*

Someone email me with something entertaining. Please?