I am home.

I am tired.

I have a brutal farmer’s tan/burn.

Good thing I’ve got 3 days to rest up before I start work on Thursday. (OMFG!@#$!#@ WORK@!#$%@#$^).

Now if only I could figure out where all these bruises came from…

I’m away for the weekend playing cowgirl. Try not to miss me too much. If you need to get ahold of me for any reason, too bad. I’ll check my messages Sunday night/Monday morning.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

I’m employed

At the behest of my parents, and a few other family members, I got some grad pictures taken to commemorate the fact that I now owe various lending institutions tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege of having a fancy piece of paper hanging on my wall.

You can see the proofs here and here. Lemme know which ones you like, and if you want some so I can order enough.

As mentioned in yesterday’s this or that, I just lost my e-bay virginity.

I bought a fax machine, and it’s great!

Although I’m not quite sure what’s more exciting - making this purchase, or the fact that I am now in posession of a mostly full box of STYROFOAM PEANUTS!@#$!@#$

it’s like that, and like this-and-(like)-that, and uh… it’s like this:

1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads?
Regular reads - it’s all about the blogroll.
2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites?
Mostly blogs, but if I’m bored of procrastinating, I’ll read globeandmail.com, and fark.
3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week?
Every single freaking day (unless I’m out of the house).
4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not?
Well blogs are just a vanity press, and being vain requires validation, so of course.
5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores?
I’ve shopped online, and I just lost my e-bay virginity.
6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not?
I do it all online. I can’t be bothered to keep regular hours.
7. Which news site do you prefer… MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one?
I’d hardly call those sites “news” - but I do like globeandmail.com.
8. Live chat rooms, or message boards?
Live chat. IRC to be specific.
9. Instant messaging or e-mail?
It depends on the type of communication. I like short messages/conversations from people I know or want to talk to on ICQ or MSN. Longer, convoluded and information dense messages that require a thoughful response are better sent through e-mail.
10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not?
Considering I knew bloggers as friends before I started blogging (or knew they did) I’d have to say yes, but I’ve never met someone I only know through their website. Not that I wouldn’t, but the time and opportunity haven’t matched up yet.

And who gives a fuck about those?
So just chill, ’till the next episode

today is a day for accomplishing great things… i can feel it!

(it’s either that, or the fish i ate last night)

Funny how your day can go from being pretty darn okay, to being hatefully unbearable, in a span of about 5 seconds.

With all the craze around the Harry Potter books lately (of which I’ve read none), I had a couple mini epiphanies that I figured I’d share with my readers, all 4 of you.

I’ve always thought that books are really great things, when I entered kindergarten I was reading at a grade 5 level. One of the things I’ve always wanted to do regarding books is to collect them for my impending offspring (no I’m not pregnant, but I’d like to be someday). I’d like to have a fully stocked library to read to them once they enter the world - Beatrix Potter, Dr. Seuss, and now, most likely, the Harry Potter series. I figured once the whole Harry Potter thing is finished, I’ll buy the complete boxed set that is sure to come out, and I’ll get to enjoy the books myself even before I have kids.

That’s when it hit me. It’s entirely likely that I will already be procreating long before the whole Harry Potter thing is even close to being over. With two more books guaranteed to be coming along we’ve probably got at least a 6 year wait for just the text, nevermind movies, and any subsequent books that might happen. This puts me around 30-ish, and in my prime (and so far the planned) childbearing years. That just creeps me out.

The other thing is that whole book purchasing thing in general. Unless we’re ambitious enough to hunt through independent bookstores - which usually carry primarily used books, because they just can’t compete with the big bookstores - I’m guessing that most of us get our new books through the Chapters-Indigo monster. Indigo has really dominated the Canadian new book market in recent years, with their acquisition of Chapters, Coles, and Smithbooks, not to mention the online bookstore.

So the other day I decided I need a new book for summer reading - a thick and ambitious book that I can’t breeze through in an afternoon, but neither requires too much thought to enjoy over some frosty beverages on the patio in the sun. Sadly, I became a whore of the commercialized world, and decided to pick up the new Oprah book club book, John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. I don’t feel so bad, because it’s actually a very good and highly acclaimed book, since before Oprah even existed, and I like to entertain the very real thought that Oprah doesn’t pick the books, some intellectual bookworm who doesn’t have a good TV face and sits in the back of Harpo studios enjoying literature and recommending it to the producers who in turn make sure the author wasn’t too scandalous and was nice to black people, then give it to Oprah to flog to housewives everywhere…. but I digress….

I checked chapters.ca for the book, and found it at 40% off - but I didn’t feel like waiting 24 hours (which so often turns into 7 days, which turns into 30 days, which turns into out of stock, outta luck sucker) so I trundled up to the mall to the local Coles books to purchase the book in person. It was there that I discovered that the 40% off was only a web special, and that the bookstore owner was quite angry. Their wee bookstore’s business has gone down drastically since it turned from a Smithbooks to a Coles and part of the Chapters-Indigo empire. The online sale of books, specifically the web-only specials is just killing their business. They’ve also got limited flexibility as to what they do with their store, and what they carry.

So for the satisfaction of having my book *rightnow*, I paid full price (minus 10% from my Chapters Card) for the book, and went on my way. I still don’t feel good about it though. Ultimately I just fed the extra 40% into the Chapters coffers. I do believe I’ll have to make a more conscious effort to try and patronize fully indepenednt bookstores when I can - and try not to perpetuate the situation of the grand monopoly strategically putting itself out of business.

I have just come to terms with the fact that I am boring. I am not immersed in new and exciting love like donna, don’t have a tumultuous past like no name yet, or enough angst (like so many other people I know) to fuel one of those new electric cars.

As is keeping with the theme of my boring-ness, I was invited to go out tonight, but decided to stay home instead. I ordered pizza, polished off some Peach Ciders, and became one with the primetime lineup (and some old Sex and the City episodes to fill in the slow spots).

I am, indeed, mundane - and I am okay with that. I would actually like nothing more than to find a good man (or, preferably, keep the one I’ve got), a good job, and settle down in suburbia with a dog, some goldfish, and 2.5 kids (although those can wait until some time in the future).

Perhaps the disordered nature of my life over the past few years has made me more likely to embrace my banality. Either that or I’m just getting old. But in any case, I’m okay with it, and that makes me happy.

What makes you happy (or unhappy) about the current state of your life and routine?

The Friday Five:

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?
It’s naturally wavy, and will curl when given the opportunity. Currently it’s about shoulder length, continuing the grow-out from having Halle Berry Short hair.

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime?
The hair itself hasn’t change much, other than the damage from colouring it.

3. How do your normally wear your hair?
Lately, because I’m a bum, in a ponytail. When I actually have something to do, I wear it down, slightly curled, or up in a clip

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?
I’d just get rid of all the horrid damage so that it was smooth and healthy looking.

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?
I thought that I could maintain a rather expensive and structured style at a cheap hairdressers. Word of advice, never think that the schmuck at Magicuts can ever do as good a job as a professional hairdresser. I guess maybe they could in rare cases - but I wouldn’t chance it unless you feel like taking a risk and coming out looking like some sort of creature that’s not quite you, and quite possibly not quite human (or you really like hats).

On Tuesday, a friend of mine took me out to the Port Coquitlam & District Hunting and Fishing Club to hit the shooting range and try my hand at marksmanship.

I had a ton of fun, and did surprisingly well! I shot out both of these targets with a Smith & Wesson model 622. I also tried my hand at a Walther P99 (9mm - the current Bond gun), and didn’t do too badly with that one either.

One distinct thing that I noticed though, is that marksmanship is definitely not a lady’s sport. Although I attended with another girl, as guests of our wonderful instructor - we were the only two females in sight. Perhaps it’s just not ladies day you say? Well check out this dandy little picture.

Notice anything fishy? That’s right - I had no choice but to be a Mr. for the afternoon. I was all ready to throw a stink and light my bra on fire, but I didn’t. Perhaps I should’ve, but I was a little preoccupied with the task at hand (namely taking out that bird after he said something nasty about my momma).

In the words of my roommate, “I’ll have plenty of time to be a feminist once I’m a trophy wife.” Besides, how cute am I when I’ve got a gun in my hands?

Note to readers: please don’t send me e-mail telling me about the evils of guns. I am an advocate of responsible firearms ownership for the sports of marksmanship and sanctioned hunting. Guns don’t kill people, Guidos and Homies kill people.

And a final message to Long Tall Dave, who showed up in his shiny blue camaro with a Remington 500 12g Combat Shotgun - not good for anything other than utterly destroying whatever ends up being its unfortunate target, we’d like to say

The louder the gun, the smaller the barrel.

I got this in my e-mail just now, after a flippant comment on an entry on devon’s weblog.

Hi Jen,

Mark
(in Seattle)

Well thanks Mark in Seattle, and perhaps I will sign the petition, just because you seem to have tried so hard! Oh, and the gerbil died.

Note to Self: So that’s how you get traffic.

In contrast to men, both heterosexual and lesbian women tend to become sexually aroused by both male and female erotica, and, thus, have a bisexual arousal pattern.

Perhaps this will explain to the boys that even though I think a chick is hot, I still don’t want to sleep with her and fulfill your lesbian fantasies.

As you may or may not have noticed, I was not at the Ivanhoe on Friday night. A family thing came up, and I couldn’t make it.

But all evidence points to the fact that NOBODY CARED. There has not been one comment or e-mail or phone call or anything to indicate that I was missed.

Fuckers.