bum wars

I have just come to the realization that I am a bum. I do not take well to the life of a bum. Bums can feel okay sitting around all day, watching tv, eating convenience food, and accomplishing as little as possible. Like a bum, I engage in all of these activities on a (now) daily basis. Unlike a bum, I am not okay with this.

Unfortunately, getting out of this state requires me to step out and place myself into the new and slightly more unfriendly realm of “rejected”. Not only that, but I will not solely be rejected, I will be a rejected bum. I have had a job posting that I’m probably mostly qualified for sitting here for 2 days, and I still haven’t applied, because I’m just that terrified of becoming “rejected bum” instead of the prefixless and more ordinary form of bum.

I seem to have lost any and all motivation that I thought I once had. It is not a good thing.

Help?

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52 thoughts on “bum wars

  1. fuckmyface

    im a fuckin bum
    just like bukowski
    cuase at the end of a day, wither u tried or not, you are still 1 step closer 2 death.
    plus my dad wanted to be rich… so i wanna be poor

  2. derektenticleface

    BEX where are you? i want to open your ass hole up like a can of beans & ram my huge man length inside

  3. bum slush

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  4. bex

    so nice 2 hear from u i can tear ur anus with my 25″ strap on ill roll about in some coal b4, mess mu hair up then jump in a dust bin then knock around urs and grab ur ass and fuck it like uv neva been fuckd b4! then ill grab the fattest most spliterd broom stiick uv eva seen and shove it so far up ur anus ull pass out wiv either pleasure or pain. my boyfriend loves it wen i shove my tounge bar down his japs eye so u must hav a lot in commen!! hope 2 hear from u soon lv sexy bexy xx

  5. DEREK TENTICLEFACE

    bex, you little minx, i only wish you could be a big black man tramp so you could tear my anus apart with a garden spade while inserting a garden fork in my japs eye (my lastest craze).

    p.s bex there is nothing as good as the feeling you get from a broom stick up your ass, especially if it is covered in splinters!

  6. bex

    i love bum juice in my mouth i like 2 lick it all off especcially the lumpy bits! i love to poke my own bum hole when im just about to cum its amazing, its better than having a broomstick up my ass! i love your stories theres a black female tramp that lives outside my flat i invite her in when its cold out we take it in turns to bum rape each over. thankyou for your amazing site see u soon my bum dribble frienf

  7. Terry Tosspot

    dirt diggler is a fucking nob jockey, you have taken your name from a fiklm about a porn star who becomes addicted to drugs and can no longer obtain an errection, which means now in order to feed you dirty fucked up drug addition you have to give hand jobs to men, your a fucking sick twisted cunt mate, people in glass houses dont throw stones, piss pot, cuum faced arse bandit, go fuck yourself you useless flacid tosser

  8. derektenticleface

    I have been absent for some time im afraid guys as I got caught being gang banged by a bunch of black tramps and put in jail. i have a few comments though:
    1) this site is now about me and getting arse fucked by big black tramps
    2)bumgrape head, dirt diggler and orchid – you are all fucking faggots – fuck OFF !!!
    3) lukey pickle cum back, i want to stick my fingers up your hairy botty and pull your back hair.

    IM DEREK!!!!!FUCKERS

  9. dirt diggler

    you dirty fucking hoes,get a fucking job u lowlife spasticated toss-pot, although i found your site quite funny i also think u need to suck donkeys cocks

  10. Orchid

    Well, I have to say, reading this comment board has been much entertaining, to say the least. *loudest laugh ever*

    Anyhooooo……congrats on your new job!

  11. bruce

    this is to do with bum wars.Well i think that the guys that filmed the bum wars,plus the guys from the 311 crew(the spoilet little bitches, they realy are) should come over to england and get there necks snaped back the wrong way.I think that they only pay others to fight because they dont have the balls or the spine to do it themselves.its like i cant i have to hold the camera(sound familler)youll sound like a bunch of complete pussies.Tell you what just come find me and give me a reasion.

  12. derek

    hello people my name is sam and im a mole i have a nice bum derek hope u like it plz come and smell it im like u. i also have runny poo from taking steriods and i look like an 8 yr old pederass o yer i am one. i go out with megan hu is 2 years yonger than me and she looks like hernan crespo. she also has tisssue boobes. her brother is gay and does people up the ass dereck just for u mate hahahahahahahahaha u look like a ginge minger boi

  13. derek

    i am derek hello all my poo pals i was just havin my dinner it was poo litarly. plz can u tell me y non of my friends like me just cos i like to smell bums lick bums put my cock up bums and make poo with my bum. i am now goin to the poo bye bye

  14. derek

    i am derek hello all my poo pals i was just havin my dinner it was poo litarly. plz can u tell me y non of my friends like me just cos i like to smell bums lick bums put my cock up bums and make poo with my bum. i am now goin to the poo bye bye

  15. derek tenticleface

    Dear Peter Pederass, Lukey Pickle & Leo

    Would you still do me even though i have anal turrets syndrome?

  16. Peter Pederass

    derek, wow, you do have a small penis, i could fit ten of those in my ass. i think small is beutiful, until it comes to butt plugs then i think the bigger the better. Perhaps we should meet up, you could bring some of your tramp friends and we could have a spunk guzzling contest, chow for now you sexy ginger fluff boy x

  17. Peter Pederass

    derek, wow, you do have a small penis, i could fit ten of those in my ass. i think small is beutiful, until it comes to butt plugs then i think the bigger the better. Perhaps we should meet up, you could bring some of your tramp friends and we could have a spunk guzzling contest, chow for now you sexy ginger fluff boy x

  18. Peter Pederass

    Hello, my name is peter pederass and i love this site, i discovered it while surfing the net for porn. I love the topics of ass rape, homeless sex and racial hatred that this site addresses. I would love to meet you derek, your life seems as interesting, sorded and sickening as my own. Maybe we could meet up, you could give your arse a break and you could get started on my ring piece, i’d quite like it if you put your foot up my ass, i’ve been looking for a sick cunt to do this to me for a long time and you seem like just the man for the job.

  19. derek tenticleface

    For anyone who didn’t see Crime Watchs’ take on this, it’s a true
    story. On a recent weekend in Bromley, Robert Derek Belcher
    Tenticleface won a pint of
    quids at the fruit machine. He took a break from the fruity for
    hearty
    dinner with himself. But first he wanted
    to stash the coins up his arse for safe keeping.
    As he was about to walk into the toilet he noticed two tramps
    already loitering inside. Both were black, one being very
    tall…very tall… an
    Intimidating figure.
    Belchers` face froze. His first thought was: ” I want these two to
    bugger me senseless and rob me of my virginity.”
    His next thought was: Don’t get to excited too quickly I don’t want
    to blow my load before they have ripped out my anal lining with
    their fists!”
    Lust and sexual anticipation immobilized him!
    He stood and stared at the two men. he felt anxious, flustered,
    horny and
    ashamed. he hoped they didn’t read his mind but gosh, they had to
    know
    what he was thinking!!! He wanted it sooo bad.
    His hesitation about joining them in the toilet was all too Obvious
    now. His face was flushed. he couldn’t just stand there, so with a
    mighty effort of will he pulled down his trousers and little pants
    and screamed ” WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU BLACK BASTARDS
    I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!”
    Avoiding eye contact, he turned around stiffly and faced the toilet
    door
    . A second passed, and then another second, and then
    another. He was busting a lazy one at this point, his cock was
    twitching with anticipation. The tramps didn’t move. Panic consumed
    him. “My God” he thought, “Don’t they want to break my back doors
    in and puncture my anus with their black donkey cocks?” His heart
    plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men
    said, “Hit him in the face!” Instinct told him to turn around and
    take what they had for him. The
    tallest of the tramps delivered an extremely powerful blow to
    Belchers` face knocking him backwards. Belcher looked up and
    managed a smile through a mouth of broken teeth and blood. He
    whispered, “now fuck my bloody battered face you cunts” and fell
    back with pleasure. The tramps threw themselves upon him and began
    to to cram their cocks into his gob and arsehole while
    simultaneously raining punch after punch onto his head. Just before
    Robert lost consciousness he yelped with pleasure as the tramp
    ripped off his bollocks with his gorrilla type hand and forced them
    up Belchers’ tight bottom.
    Fortunately I had the foresight to know where Belchers sordid
    hangouts were and I took it upon myself to kill him by smashing his
    head repeatedly again a urinal. The tramps ran off with Belchers
    winnings, hollering and screaming with joy! I bowed my head in
    respect happy with the fact that Belcher died doing what he liked
    to do best.

  20. Derek Tenticleface

    THIS MESSAGE BOARD HAS BEEN TAKEN OVER DEDICATED TO THE TRUE STORIES OF DEREK TENTICLEFACE AND HIS DIARY OF SODOMY; GROTESQUE TALES FROM THE MIND OF A BOTTOM ASSASIN

  21. Derek Tentickleface

    do your self a favour leo, knock off the naughty boy shit cos it makes you sound gay, are you gay ? love derek xx

  22. Derek Tenticleface

    leo, nice to see some one else loves bums, how old are you son, have you got a nice bum ? Your friend booby seems like a crazy ass mother fucker, i’d like to meet this man, all my love derek xx

  23. Derek Tenticleface

    A court in Bromley Kent has allowed a 13-year-old ginger girl to have hormone treatment to help her to become a boy.
    The girl, who under Family Court rules can be known only as “Derek tenticleface”, has been given legal approval to undergo sex-change hormone replacement treatment because of psychiatric issues. She will have surgery when she is 18 and regarded as an adult.

    The court was told that ‘Derek’ does not regard herself as a girl, after being brought up as a boy by her father — who has since died — and being rejected by her mother. She played in her school cricket team and could beat male friends at arm wrestling. She wore a nappy to school to avoid using the girls’ lavatory.

    Despite submissions that the child was too young to make an informed choice, Chief Judge Alastair Nicholson ruled in favour of allowing a preliminary sex-change process. The decision means that the teenager can continue with hormone treatment, authorised earlier this year, which will prevent menstruation and the feminisation of her body.

    From the age of 16 she will be able to receive the male hormone testosterone, which will have irreversible effects, including a deepening voice, facial and body hair and muscle development. Genital surgery could follow when she is l8. Side affects could be baldness, morph like looks, obesity, arogance and amateur behaviour throughout later life.

    i know this hasn’t got alot to do with bums but it is about me, and i thought you should know that i am a chic with a dick, and i like to fest on brown bum mud.

  24. leo

    i like bums and booby was caught by his parents sticking a carrot up his bum bum, oh naughty boy!

  25. Derek Tenticleface

    my name is derek and i have a problem with my bum, it all started a couple of years ago when i wanted to make myself bigger, i took steroids to enhance my performance at the gym, unfortunatly the steroids i was taking had terrible side effects. they liquified my butt mud and made it impossible for me to generate a solid poo. Ever since i have been squirting brown juice out of my ringer. this has on occasion caused me embarressment as when i am drunk and want to laugh, i can’t but if i do, a steaming hot jet of liqid shit comes shooting out of my arse and drenches my trousers with a half gallon of foul smelling poo soup. let this be a warning boys and girls, dont take drugs, no matter how feeble you feel, all my love (especially to the kids) xx

  26. Derek Tenticleface

    This is a true story about Derek Tenticleface…..
    It happened the last time i went to brommers, Derek was expecting me but i
    was a bit early because i wanted to prepare for what was supposed to be an
    enjoyable booze down. I pulled up at Dereks to drop off my stuff and then
    venture out on booze club, that was certainly not going to happen. i walked
    up to the front door and was greeted by a large black man dressed in what
    looked like oxfam clothing (i think he had Dereks spastic boots on too)
    holding various different coloured butt plugs. I was invited in by the tall
    black tramp and he pressed his finger to his mouth in a shhh ing motion. I
    discretley walked into Dereks lounge to see two tramps built like ox’s
    steadily but firmly forcing a garden rake up Dereks arse. “easy, easy
    boys” Derek quietly said lifting his sleeping goggles and winking at them.
    “just five more inches you dirty black fuckers then I’ll be up to my limit.”
    Derek said softly. I watched in horror as Dereks’ face winced then beamed
    with delight as each inch was being absorbed in his puckered arsehole. “Ohhh
    nearly there” he said with a rye smile. Suddenly Derek spotted me and
    began
    babbling excuses such as “it’s not what it looks like, they’re burglers!”
    It was too late for Mr Tenticleface though. I had made a decision to finish him
    once and for all. I wrenched the rake from out of his rectum (it had been
    shoved up further than i had imagined) then slammed it through his feminin
    chest! He screamed with what looked like agony and
    ecstacy. The tramps behind began to go into an ape like frenzy and started
    throwing funiture around in panic. I pulled out a lighter and an aerosol can
    i had in my overnight bag and burnt that gay butt fucker derek with
    absolutley no remorse. The tramps just looked at his charred corpse for an
    instant before cramming their horse cocks in any orifice they could find. I
    turned briskly on my heels and never looked back.

  27. LUKEY PICKLE

    SOMETIMES THE STRESS OF BEING IN LOVE WITH BUTTS AND RUNNY POO MAKES ME GO
    ..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……….AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…….AHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH …….UUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…..UUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH……..UHH…………..UHH………….UHHHH YEEEEEAAAAHHHH POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..URRRHHH..POOOOOOOOOOO

  28. derek tenticleface

    my name is derek and i need help, about two years ago i was caught in a grave yard digging up fresh corpses, i was doing this because i love to sniff bums and live people dont like me to this so i had to resort to the dead. i am sorry and very ashamed of myself, my friends say i look like an old man now, my hair has fallen out, i have a middle age spead and my complexion is very pale, can some one please help me to help myself

  29. Lukey pickle

    My name is lukey pickle and i have a bum fetish, i love to lick brown bum juice and save it in jars to feast on when my urges get to much. i am covered in browny mousey hair which bum bullets get stuck to quite often. if you would like to meet up email me and we can have a poo fest. luqiex

  30. DEREK TENTICLE FACE

    i love bums, girls bums, boys bums, old bums young bums, i just love looking at bums and touching bums. i some times wish i was a bum, i talk a load of crap any way, thats why i thought id fit in on this web site because your all talkin shit.

  31. Jon

    Hello my name is jon and ive been a bum all my life! Its great! i have been living off my parents for 22 years, but they have recently moved to spain and now i dont know what to do, can someone give me some advic please?

  32. pete

    If you think your a bum then you are a bum! Stop winging and get on with it. Theres people out there that don’t even have a choice! Get up of your arse. Go to the gym. Go to the pub. Do anything. Just get into the habit of moving your lazy arse and stop with this sad self pity thing you got going on. You f**king BUM!

  33. paj

    my m8 is a bum and he has now got a virus of d gut d last time i spoke 2 im, so chin up and get 2 work!!!!!

  34. col

    you can do it! practice makes perfect.

    just think of me and all the other pathetic retail workers!

  35. Donna

    wow, I was a bum for 6 months and I loved it… šŸ™‚

    Of course, then the money started to run low, so I had to get off my keister and find work. So I did…

    and yes, waiting for the perfect job is far more important than just getting a job. Gawd, I love my job…

    come visit me! then you won’t be a bum, you’ll be visiting friends.

  36. devon

    do what i do.. go to the gym as often as you can. it helps me feel infinitely less bumlike.

    and rejection isn’t so bad.. just try to think of it as you not being the right fit for the job.. it’s better that they don’t hire you than hire you and have you be miserable.

    well, okay, that doesn’t always work. but sometimes it does!

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