I got a call from my mom the other day. This in itself isn’t terribly unusual, but what she had to say is. Apparently my grandmother is pretty ill. Ill enough to admit to being utterly incapacitated. The fact that she will admit that something is wrong means that whatever it is, it’s pretty serious.
Now I know that my grandparents are no spring chickens. They’re both well into their 70’s now, and have been showing slight signs for a few years of that human wear and tear that we all know so well (first and foremost being telling the same stories over and over and over and over….). But other than that, they’ve been really quite self-sufficient and have managed to successfully battle the illnesses life’s thrown at them (heart attacks, cancer, diabetes to name a few).
Now it seems that time has finally caught up, and my grandmother seems to have aged 10 years in the past week or so. This completely and utterly freaks me out. My grandparents have been a huge part of my life, for as long as I’ve lived it. Heck, I grew up down the street from them. Now that their health has taken a turn for the worse, I’m realizing that I’m the furthest thing from okay with that. I’ve always just expected that they’d be around for everything in my life – and now that I’m realizing that they won’t, I’m incredibly terrified.
Goddammit I hate talking about feelings. Maybe I’ll just delete this.